honeybunch2k5 Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 My Ex broke up with me about 2 months ago. Supposedly, it wasn't because of me, he said he had problems getting close to people. Also, my mom made it hard on us sometimes, and he's going to Iraq and I'm going to college. He's not going to college, which doesn't bother me at all, and he says i'll be a lot better off than him. All those things were why he broke up with me, and he even cried and said it was like he was losing his best friend. We were together for six months, but I really started falling for him. I mean bad. All I've thought about is him even though I've been out with some really good guys. We chatted online yesterday and he suggested that we be fwb. I want him back, I don't want to date other guys although he may think so. If it were up to me we'd be together, and I'd be faithful while he was on his tour of duty. I'm not sure if having sex with him is such a good idea especially when I'm not completely healed. What should I do? Part of me say yes, part of me says no. Link to post Share on other sites
CantDecide... Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 You know i wanted the same thing with my ex. we talked about it and all but relied it wasnt a good idea. your not over him yet, and having sex with him will make you want a relationship more, You will treat it like one, and if he doesnt you a re goingto be very very hurt, more then rite now. i know it seems likea good idea, u can get ass and all, but is it worth pain in the long run? i had all these thoughts in my head, and decided it was best not to. but i can only give advice from my past its ur ultimate decsion, im jsut saying i see more pain in your future. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
heartnsoul Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 I've been there and I would definitely advise against it. I ultimately had to end our friendship because it just became too hard. Allow yourself time to heal and properly move on. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 You can only be FWB with someone you're not in love with. Otherwise you will feel very bad. Now you just want to see him, but later you will be hurt when you will see him once a week and only for sex. Why he broke up is unclear. The thing that matters is whether he is in love with you or not. If he is then seeing each other at any basis might bring you back together in a relationship. But if he is not in love with you and just wants to screw you then I strongly advise you not to accept the "offer." He is going abroad anyway and you'll go to college. You will be better off without him and you'll meet the right guy some day. Don't despair! Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 most likely wont work so I'd say dont waste your time doing it especially since you still have an emotional attachment to him. When an EX says they want to be fwb they are just merely saying they want the sex part of the relationship without having to do the other work that they I guess grew tired of doing...why want to be sued that way? What is with the fwb stuff anyway? I mean I used to think "meh" to it but now I think it is stupid. Sex shouldnt be that important to a person to go and hump a "friend" just for the pleasure of it...just go jerk off instead. Same results and a perosn doesnt have to get into any weird situations which I'd say almost all FWB dealios end up in. Link to post Share on other sites
livinlifetofullest Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Not a good idea. Him suggesting FWB means he doesn't respect you. Otherwise, he'll give you the commitment you want, instead of a consolation prize. Stop the roller coaster ride, tell him nicely to get a life, and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 stay far far away from any guy who suggests such a thing. If he was so upset about the breakup, then he would respect you far too much to suggest such a thing. Most people who do this only do it to cling onto their ex. Don't waste your time. Go to College and have fun. Enjoy life and then after you have finished sit down and think about having a heavy relationship. You're only young once! Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 FWB N-E-V-E-R WORKS period (.) (Smile) -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
blackendangel13 Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 I agree with every. Leave him alone. I went back into a FWB situation with my ex after 6 months of being broken up thinking the sex would change his mind and we'd get back together. Last week I had to end it because I was so hurt by the whole thing. He acted like I was nothing more than a drunk lay and it was EXTREMELY hurtful coming from someone I was in love with. I have since revoked my stance that FWB can be ok. Its always bad. You deserve more and should not be settling. Link to post Share on other sites
Jey Dey Dey Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 I would say no, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. His reasons are unclear why he broke up with you. He either felt you'd have a better life without him in it and what if something did happen in Iraq, he didn't want you to go thorugh the pain. Or he didn't want to hurt your feelings and thought this would be the nice way to break it off. Normally I also suggest NC to get that ex to really think about things and decide whether or not they want to be with you. However in this case it's different. Why don't you ask to see him, brunch or coffee or something or if you want over the phone but no IM. You can't read a person like that. Be honest and tell him that you were really into the relationship/him and were confused when he broke it off. That you are sure of your feelings and they are strong enough to see you both through the hard times. Just put it out there. Either he'll stick to it's over or give it a try. At least when you walk away from this you at least put it out there and where ever he is it will be bouncing in the back of his head, he won't forget. Oh and tell him you would never agree to FWB, not him or anyone else. He'll respect you more for it even if he doesn't like it. If you two do end up together he'll always know you had your principles. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts