What's makes good dating?

[Love2015]

Hi, I was wondering in this forum so many complain about their dating experiences...including myself. Now that I took a break from it things are looking more positive. I would like to invite everyone to discuss what makes good dating, how to put good Boundaries, focus on the good of people versus the lacking...if we are all complaining..then what is good dating? Is there a formula...or is it just accepting the person as they are and be in tuned with ourselves to be with he right person? How to choose wisely?

[chillii]

Be very selective, just wait for that someone to happen that is all right for you.

Doesn't mean it'll work out , only time together can tell when you do meet them, but it'll cut out 90% of the bs everyone seems to put themselves through round here.

But no one will agree with that and on and on it just goes.

You gotta know yourself , and what suits you.

[d0nnivain]

Good dating is spending quality time with somebody you are attracted to physically & mentally doing something enjoyable.

 

It's not always perfect & smooth sailing but on balance it should be fun. It shouldn't involve you feeling bad or overly anxious. Everybody gets nervous . . .do they like me back? Will they call? Is my breath OK? Will they reject / hurt me? But you can't become obsessive.

[Gretchen12]

Good dating is when two people both have healthy self image and are stable. Neither going through depression, stress, major financial or health problems, life changing events, moving, break ups, etc. Neither is too lonely or too solitary. That makes for good dating. It doesn't mean your life has to be perfect to find romance. But for good dating (going out and having fun), I think you do have to be in a good place.

[Lotsgoingon]

Love the answers so far.

 

Good dating to me is understanding dating and understanding dating to me means you understand and accept that you can meet many people that you don't want to go on a second or third date with. But meeting more and more people can get you closer to meeting someone you do want to date.

 

I think it's a mistake to go on a date hoping this one person is going to change your life. No, go on a date as a balanced and content human being looking to match up with another balanced and content human being ... to produce a partnership that is far greater than the sum of the two individuals.

 

Good dating also means accepting that a person you meet can be a wonderful person and a great "catch" for someone else ... but that they just don't do it for you and/or vice versa. You don't have to put them down to accept that you don't have any real chemistry with the person.

 

Good dating means you simply show up, try to relax and try to be present and real when you're interacting with the other person. You're neither trying to impress them nor trying to push them away.

[alphamale]

good dating = a nice romantic meal at a nice restaurant with your date

[mr_ybor]

Good dating = A date happens.

 

I'm pretty simple like that. Would be awesome if women were into going on dates to begin with.

[Twizzlestick]

Good dating is when two people both have healthy self image and are stable. Neither going through depression, stress, major financial or health problems, life changing events, moving, break ups, etc. Neither is too lonely or too solitary..

 

Thats 95 percent of the population off the cards then

[SumGuy]

Hi, I was wondering in this forum so many complain about their dating experiences...including myself.

It's the nature of the medium, just like reviews people are much more likely to complain than praise. One typically doesn't come to a forum seeking advice when all is fine and dandy, ...people do tend go out and seek the advice of others the more their situation is a mess.

 

Now that I took a break from it things are looking more positive. I would like to invite everyone to discuss what makes good dating, how to put good Boundaries,

Not sure what Boundaries you are speaking of. Certainly don't meet in situations you don't feel safe; don't jump through hoops for a first date (which is really just a meeting if via OLD), have an "escape plan" if you need to get out of the date, don't give out too much personal information before meeting someone.

 

focus on the good of people versus the lacking...

Yes focus on the whole package, if you go in looking for faults you will "find them" real or not, also though if you look only to the good you may overlook a real fault.

 

if we are all complaining..then what is good dating?

Yes some people just love to complain and it is all hopeless (such negative personal prophecies always come true).

For most though, complaining can help us vent emotions and prepare us to work on improving our situation.

 

 

Is there a formula...or is it just accepting the person as they are and be in tuned with ourselves to be with he right person? How to choose wisely?

That is pretty much it. I wish there was some magic way of interacting or being or choosing that was always wise.

Accepting people as they are is always a good way to approach it, not sure how else one would. I would never go into a relationship thinking I can change something about them.

 

However if you mean accepting people who are not perfect then yes you have to do that in real life. Yes there are people who are pretty much perfect (though then people get paranoid that something must be off, they must be missing something; there is no winning in the mind set focused around flaws).

 

The key is to know what you really value, what you really want. Never accept deal breakers, though if you are looking for a successful long term relationship deal breakers should be fundamental things, true aspects of a persons character, not ephemeral shallow things like fashion for instance (unless it is a fetish type thing then it is fundamental to you...no judgment here).

 

Once you know what you really want and value you can work on how to find it, but also you can evaluate a person's non-deal breaker flaws against their deal maker positives.