Vesna Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 I met a woman via dating her brother 20 years ago. Recently, we met up for drinks and she tried to get me into buying rounds. I prefer to buy my own drinks and drink at my own pace and that is exactly what I did. She is in her 60s and still thinks she is 50ish, like I am. We come from impoverished backgrounds and everything in her life can be explained by this. OTOH, I live in abundance, despite being poor. She has been in my house twice. The first time, she was gushing over my 'stuff', commenting on how expensive it is. She opened bottles to smell my toiletries. She kept asking how much things cost me and I said I prefer not to dwell on that. She commented on how expensive my coffee is and such. I thought it was a mere quirk. The second time, she surreptitiously looked at things and followed me to rooms which I keep closed to everyone. Before she arrived, I cleared the living room of small stuff and private paperwork as well as books and my flash drives. There were too many comments and I was getting uncomfortable and embarrassed. She opened drawers when she thought I wasn't looking. She uses my bathroom too often as far as I am concerned because it give her the impetus to snoop. Then, after a few drinks, she admitted to shoplifting to save money. Small stuff. She was on her phone (speaker on) and chatted with some woman about how to procure pills (Mine are under lock and key). I politely ignored the conversation but I thought it was very rude of her. I think she was more than just inebriated that day. She seems to have some kind of obsession with every single thing about me from how I have aged well to the way I eat and how I am not the needy type. I won't call her out on it because as far as I am concerned, there won't be any friendship. She knows what she is like and she won't stop behaving that way. I detest petty thieves and I hate (strong word, I know) snoops and nosy people. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 People are not innately petty thieves. This is a learned behavior and reflects who she associates with. I would put some distance between yourself and her. What you should worry about isn't that she has light fingers but who she blabs to and it sounds like she blabs a lot. I am quite sure she let others know about your life of plenty and that is where your concerns should be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vesna Posted October 28, 2019 Author Share Posted October 28, 2019 Thanks, schlumpy, for your feedback. These are things I didn't consider. I've been unwell with breast cancer for the last 18 months and am scheduled to have a double mastectomy before the end of the year. She has been suffocating me with offers of help which includes telling me she will check on the house for me while I am in hospital. I said that has been sorted and have someone to housesit. In another offer, to help set my spare bed/recovery nook up in the living room. No way! The spare room would be a treasure trove to her. Yes, she blabs and blabs. I know too much about other people whom I have never met and she wants to introduce me to them. I don't want to meet new people at such a stressful time and I certainly don't need help. As for her letting others know of my abundance, OMG I am naive. I've had to trust others since the cancer and I forgot the off-switch. I'm keeping my distance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vesna Posted October 28, 2019 Author Share Posted October 28, 2019 I don't want to meet HER people! Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 I'm sorry to hear about your illness. The stress you are under must be considerable and it's understandable that you let your guard down. There are people in this world that have no compunction of taking advantage of others when they see an opportunity. You may want to consider temporarily storing possessions you consider valuable until you recover. That may relieve some worry and allow you concentrate on getting better. A trusty relative would work. I wish you all the best and much success in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 (edited) I won't call her out on it because as far as I am concerned, there won't be any friendship. Are you afraid of her or something? Why do you want to be friends with someone you cannot trust to be in your house alone? The whole basis of friendship is trust. She comments on the price of your belongings because she's jealous and petty at heart. She's mad she doesn't have the wherewithal to procure those items herself and the way she does that is to steal (a crime) and to snoop and pilfer (which is why she's going through your drawers and medicine cabinet). Edited October 28, 2019 by kendahke 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 explain to me again why this woman was in your house twice? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 That doesn't have to do with her being a woman. That woman is a thief. I would not have her over again and if you ever have to I would have a safe and lock up anything precious or lock the doors to the bedrooms and such even if that means putting new locks on. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 Sorry to hear about your cancer and surgery. Yes, now that you know what she's like it's time to keep your distance. Hopefully you have other friends to call on for help during your recovery. Wish you the best of luck with that! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 Now knowing that you are ill, you surely must have already heard that people prey on the elderly and ill under the guise of helping them. Ban this woman from your home! Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 Some women are nosy, some men are nosy. Some people are just generally awful. The number of stories I've heard of relatives immediately swooping in to rob recently-deceased family members... I'd be very worried that this woman was planning to rob you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vesna Posted October 28, 2019 Author Share Posted October 28, 2019 Are you afraid of her or something? Why do you want to be friends with someone you cannot trust to be in your house alone? The whole basis of friendship is trust. I find her intimidating and I am afraid of her. I said I don't want to be friends with her in light of her untrustworthy behaviour. Now knowing that you are ill, you surely must have already heard that people prey on the elderly and ill under the guise of helping them. Yes, I know that. explain to me again why this woman was in your house twice? OK OK. The number of stories I've heard of relatives immediately swooping in to rob recently-deceased family members... I'm not dead yet! I do know what you are saying. I think those people are vile and I hate vultures and greed! The way I see it, greedy people will always have nothing because what they have is never enough. Hopefully you have other friends to call on for help during your recovery. I have few and I am too independent for my own good. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted October 29, 2019 Share Posted October 29, 2019 I don't understand why you are friends with this woman. Doesn't sound like you care for her much at all. Personally I am extremely choosy about who I spend time with - perhaps it keeps the number of people I consider friends low - but I rather spend time alone than with someone I do not enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted October 29, 2019 Share Posted October 29, 2019 There's a saying I've found to be true, "Birds of a feather flock together." I'd stay completely away from this woman and her friends. Not only may she steal from you, anyone who realizes you're spending time with her may judge you, without knowing you, to be of the same ilk. Take care and spend your time with folks you respect and love! Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted October 29, 2019 Share Posted October 29, 2019 Do not let this woman into your house again. I wouldn't even give her access to yourself again, to be honest. Sounds like she is planning on stealing from you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 29, 2019 Share Posted October 29, 2019 I find her intimidating and I am afraid of her. I said I don't want to be friends with her in light of her untrustworthy behaviour. Make sure everyone in your life who loves you knows this vulture is circling your head. Get a large dog that means business to those who seek to do you harm. Make sure everything that is valuable to you is locked up tight in a safe deposit box that she can never get to. Try to always have someone with you whenever she tries to show up. Do. Not. Be afraid of getting a PRO against her. Link to post Share on other sites
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