Gmartz Posted October 29, 2019 Share Posted October 29, 2019 I've posted once before about my 'dead end FT job' I've stayed at way too long (I got too comfortable over the years). I have a small family, working two jobs to support them because I don't make enough. Well... in my search for a new job that pays better and has better opportunities, I asked for a raise at my 'dead end' job. They gave me a "maybe, we'll see what we can do" kind of response and if it happened, I was told not until after the first of the year. It wouldn't be a huge increase but could help me not have to drive Lyft on the weekends. At first, I was kind of excited. But now I'm feeling like if i don't leave this place, I'll stay here forever, struggling to climb a ladder that isn't really here. What bothers me also is that business (actual sales for the company) isn't super great right now, so I'm curious if they will even be able to give me an increase. On the other hand, If I did wait it out and get that possible increase AND keep working on the weekend, I'd have more income and relief. Not sure what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 29, 2019 Share Posted October 29, 2019 Not sure what to do. Well, you didn't take any of the good advice given in your last two threads, not sure what someone could tell you differently now . There's someone holding you back, and you don't have to look far to find him... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 29, 2019 Share Posted October 29, 2019 They said maybe, not yes. Keep looking for better opportunities. If you find something grab it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 Keep looking. If you're not already, get on LinkedIn and brush up your profile and work history. Look for YouTube career improvement advice videos and podcasts. There are tons of them out there now, all free. Get in touch with current and former professional contacts and let them know you're looking. In my experience, it's very true that the best jobs are often found through connections. You have to have the skills, but the connections will help put those skills in the spotlight. I've also found good jobs through temp agencies. Sometimes they'll put you in a temporary position that goes full-time after 90 days, and sometimes they put you right into a permanent position. The job market is strong for workers, so keep looking and stay positive. Eventually you'll find something better. Also, consider starting your own business on the side. If it goes well, this could increase to the point that you can quit your day job and do the business full time. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gmartz Posted November 3, 2019 Author Share Posted November 3, 2019 (edited) ..... The job market is strong for workers, so keep looking and stay positive. Eventually you'll find something better. Also, consider starting your own business on the side. If it goes well, this could increase to the point that you can quit your day job and do the business full time. Good luck! Deep down, I'm just scared to make the wrong decision. My track record speaks for itself. I'm not successful. Part of me wants to stay because I can do the job and bring a ton of value to it. They actually kind of need me - and then on the side I could still Lyft and maybe yeah like you said, I could freelance my copywriting skills as well and ramp that up as a side business. The other part of me wants to leave and seek a better job with better pay so I don't have to work TWO jobs. I'm burnt out from working every single day for years and I'm scraping by, barely paying the bills, so I'm always stressed. I'm letting my family down and that kills me everyday. I want to work hard, I just don't know which direction to go. Edited November 3, 2019 by Gmartz Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 Hang in there. I know how you feel, to an extent. I've supported myself since age 17, have been working well beyond full time for most of my life since age 11 to create a better life for myself. Check out Dave Ramsey's personal finance podcast. I've always been very frugal by necessity, but his advice has helped me get even more focused and intense about budgeting and working toward financial freedom. He offers a wealth of practical wisdom. And don't be afraid to take a sick day as a mental health day now and then. Most of my coworkers blow off work for the most trifling of reasons. I'm dutifully there on time 99.9% of the time, actually working while others are taking 3-hour lunches. Last week I was feeling burnt out, took a very rare sick day to recharge, slept half the day and it helped a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 Security and being comfortable in your job is worth a lot, but I have no idea how little they are paying you. I've worked two jobs most of my life and I'm only one person trying to pay all the bills for myself. Doesn't your wife or mother of your kids work? Isnt it about time she did? I think if the answer to your raise was more likely going to be no he wouldn't have given you a maybe. Now like you said if the business isn't doing great guns they could have a legit reason for not being able to do it. in my opinion even if they didn't really have the money to do it if they wanted to keep you they would at least give you a tiny raised just so they can say they gave you one. Companies don't usually give big raises these days. I doubt if whatever melt the raises would enable you to quit a second job. In my experience in the past raises are usually only worth about $100 a month if that. It's close to the first of the year. any job you took right now might end up being seasonal and they might not tell you because of the holidays coming up and then needing help. So maybe relax and see what happens and then if they don't give you a raise start thinking about where to apply next. but if what they're paying you is reasonable and something most people should be able to live modestly on and you like the job that's worth a lot. there's a lot of crap jobs out there and all it takes is one bad manager to ruin what would have been a great job. Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted November 3, 2019 Share Posted November 3, 2019 I feel for you. I’m in the same boat right now trying to decide between two options. Staying where I am isn’t really a viable option because my manager hates me. She has pushed other people out too. Can you look for other opportunities while you’re waiting for them to come through on your raise? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gmartz Posted November 3, 2019 Author Share Posted November 3, 2019 (edited) ... Companies don't usually give big raises these days. I doubt if whatever melt the raise would enable you to quit a second job. In my experience in the past raises are usually only worth about $100 a month if that. He asked for a number. And so I gave him a number of what I'm making + what I'm making on the weekends with Lyft. And he said OK and said 'let me see what I can do because I don't want you having to work on the weekends at some other place, I'd like all your attention, here'. It's close to the first of the year. any job you took right now might end up being seasonal and they might not tell you because of the holidays coming up and then needing help. So maybe relax and see what happens and then if they don't give you a raise start thinking about where to apply next. I've already been reaching out to friends at other companies and sending them my resume. Stupid only part, but I'd never ever thought to ask for help within my social network. Maybe in Early November as I write this, it's a bad time to apply. But maybe something might open up at the beginning of the year. Who knows. Oh, and no it's not easy for my wife to work as my son has special needs. She'd literally just be working so we could pay someone to help us with childcare. We have talked about her working from home somehow. So that's an idea. Edited November 3, 2019 by Gmartz Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gmartz Posted November 3, 2019 Author Share Posted November 3, 2019 I feel for you. I’m in the same boat right now trying to decide between two options. Staying where I am isn’t really a viable option because my manager hates me. She has pushed other people out too. Can you look for other opportunities while you’re waiting for them to come through on your raise? Sorry about that toxic workplace person. That sucks. I COULD stay here and help build the business. It's in a strange flux right now. They've talked about expanding and trying new ways of sales and marketing... things that I'm a bit skilled at now (having studied at home late at night for the past 2 years) but there isn't a clear battle plan for that. I'll be honest though... Getting a raise at this place would only help a little bit. I'd still need to freelance or something. I guess that's why I have the dilemma, do I stay for a raise and hustle like crazy on my freelance writing since I may have my weekends free again (if i get the raise) or should I just move to a better company (with help from my network of friends) that offers better pay than what they can offer me here? There are no guarantees in life, I get that. I should just choose a direction and work hard on it. Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 Sorry about that toxic workplace person. That sucks. I COULD stay here and help build the business. It's in a strange flux right now. They've talked about expanding and trying new ways of sales and marketing... things that I'm a bit skilled at now (having studied at home late at night for the past 2 years) but there isn't a clear battle plan for that. I'll be honest though... Getting a raise at this place would only help a little bit. I'd still need to freelance or something. I guess that's why I have the dilemma, do I stay for a raise and hustle like crazy on my freelance writing since I may have my weekends free again (if i get the raise) or should I just move to a better company (with help from my network of friends) that offers better pay than what they can offer me here? There are no guarantees in life, I get that. I should just choose a direction and work hard on it. Change is hard, really hard, even when you’re leaving a bad situation. I’m not so sure why this is a difficult choice though. Seems to me you’d be WAY better off with a single job with better pay. You need to put your little family first. Better pay and more time with the family? Seems like a clear winner to me. Don’t leave your current situation before you can get something else though. My deadline is tomorrow and I’ve been thinking about this for 4 days. I still am not sure what to do. I hate making decisions. I’ve made some pretty bad ones so trust in my decision making capabilities is not too high. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gmartz Posted November 4, 2019 Author Share Posted November 4, 2019 You need to put your little family first. Better pay and more time with the family? Seems like a clear winner to me. Don’t leave your current situation before you can get something else though. You're absolutely right. Thank you for that. My deadline is tomorrow and I’ve been thinking about this for 4 days. I still am not sure what to do. I hate making decisions. I’ve made some pretty bad ones so trust in my decision making capabilities is not too high. How did it go? Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted November 5, 2019 Share Posted November 5, 2019 You're absolutely right. Thank you for that. Advice, $.05 How did it go? Thanks for asking. It was a bit rough. I was still flip-flopping on the way into work. I had to let them know today whether I was going to take the transfer. I said yes but I knew it was going to affect someone else on the team who was looking at the job as a promotion. He was quite upset about it. All’s fair in love and war, I know that, but it still made me feel like crap. And additionally I had to let another group know about my acceptance, and I really wasn’t sure whether I was missing out on a good deal there. Tough all around. I am just not a political person, I’m pretty thin-skinned and everything affects me. So yeah, not a fun day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mixah Posted November 7, 2019 Share Posted November 7, 2019 There's never a good time to leave a job. You either go for the gold, and have the potential to fail OR win. There's no guarantees here. What I get is you don't make enough, you hate your job and you can do better. Then GO FOR IT. It's never too late, and the risk is sometimes worth the reward. People at the end of their lives focus more on the things they didn't do, than the ones they did. Go for it, get up and go at it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gmartz Posted November 11, 2019 Author Share Posted November 11, 2019 There's never a good time to leave a job. You either go for the gold, and have the potential to fail OR win. There's no guarantees here. What I get is you don't make enough, you hate your job and you can do better. Then GO FOR IT. It's never too late, and the risk is sometimes worth the reward. People at the end of their lives focus more on the things they didn't do, than the ones they did. Go for it, get up and go at it. Makes sense. A lot of sense. Thank you. I'm planning my escape from here and have been taking real action to make it happen all week. I've made the commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
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