Dating culture in Oklahoma

[SumGuy]

Going to focus on the social and scene, as you can find online housing costs, crime stats for areas of the city and other demographics.

 

Suspect Chicago is better overall for dating than Fresno given population. Lived in Chicago for a time when in late 20s a very dynamic city, with premier academic institutions etc, and don’t forget there is a beach! It also has a great shoreline bike path, and if you are into sports I really liked the Chicago fans, especially the cubs fans loyal as can be. There’s also great food of all kinds. Being Asian in Chicago is not going to matter, maybe in a positive way as education is respected there so a smart Asian doctor could be considered a catch.

 

Lived in California many years as well. Look up Fresno, it’s Central Valley dry, hot and dusty in the summer. In the Central Valley you get a mix of urban and rural not so much a large vibrant night life scene as Chicago but rather more outdoor oriented, you are right by the Sierras, near both Yosemite and Sequoia national parks. Large Asian population in California as well. Academic and research networking not as easy in Fresno, but could fall in with a start-up. Food is going to be great and fresh in Fresno. You are also close to Gilroy if the garlic festival is your thing and close to Burning Man if that is as well. You are also fairly close to the wine growing area about Monterey.

 

On laws, yes more in what corporations can do. Always hear non-compete agreements are unenforceable there and Californians want clean air and water so they don’t tolerate pollution (which makes sense given how dry Southern California is and even with strict emission standards the LA basin and Central Valley get inversions that trap particulates down low, without them people would die from air pollution directly like they did in the 70s or today in China). Now as to laws applied to people, you have more freedom there than Mississippi that is for sure, especially if gay, you can smoke weed if you want, etc.

 

I’m from the West and mid west mostly, Oklahoma is like a forgotten state with Texas there

Oklahoma City don’t know much about it but seems your education is not going to get any respect from a goodly number of folks. The only people I’ve known from Oklahoma we’re Native Americans in the 90s, still treated as second class citizens, they had a different perspective on how open minded it is.

[clia]

Peoria is not Chicago. It's three hours away. Sure, OP is close enough to Chicago to go up for short trips, depending on his work schedule, but he isn't close enough to have a real social life in Chicago. And if he happens to meet a woman who lives in the Chicago area, it's doubtful she is going to want to date a guy who lives three hours away.

 

I don't know what Peoria is like, but IMO, talking about what Chicago is like is not relevant to what living in Peoria will be like.

[SumGuy]

Peoria is not Chicago. It's three hours away. Sure, OP is close enough to Chicago to go up for short trips, depending on his work schedule, but he isn't close enough to have a real social life in Chicago. And if he happens to meet a woman who lives in the Chicago area, it's doubtful she is going to want to date a guy who lives three hours away.

 

I don't know what Peoria is like, but IMO, talking about what Chicago is like is not relevant to what living in Peoria will be like.

 

Oh I thought he had an offer in Chicago. Peoria? That's midwestern really, not big city life. Not up to date with the attitudes there. It looks like much smaller than Fresno, 100K vs 500K. Thinking then Fresno is better for sheer numbers, greater demographic diversity for dating and better for career networking.

[preraph]

Sumguy, I am marveling at your statement about Native Americans in Oklahoma being treated as second class citizens. Nearly everyone IN Oklahoma is part NA, and I grew up there in the 50s and 60s and never got any maltreatment because of it. Now, my dad, felt he might be discriminated against and tried to "pass," but he did well and he wasn't fooling anyone. It was a fear leftover from the old days, of course.

 

It's like any other culture. If you isolate yourself (like on the reservation), you set yourself apart. It's truly not others doing it to you in Oklahoma.

 

That said, Garcon is looking to not date Asians and trying to find a place he can date non-Asians. There's no magical place like that, and even he admits that a fellow Asian doctor right there with him in Mississippi is having every success dating non-Asians. So it leaves doubt that it's about the place at all, though I can see wanting to get out of Mississippi to a more urbane location.

 

I should add that while NAs don't get discriminated against in OK, because they pretty much own OK, it's when you leave the state people start wondering if you're Hispanic or native or what and drawing a distinction.

Edited October 31, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Garcon1986]

What does the bolded mean? How are you being actively prevented from seeking out social opportunities in Mississippi?

 

I have sought out salsa dancing, but the women there don't connect with me easily. I socialized with medical students, and got a fantastic rapport with one of them - but she is off limits since she is engaged. I met one of her friends but sadly she is in Washington and dating a surgeon in training. I had fantastic rapport with both of these women.

 

I went 200 miles to the main campus, and got rather good rapport with some of the Russian club members, but one of the women who was interested in me was clearly doing it to get a green card. I had a lot of fun but I couldn't reciprocate the interest because she didn't have the geekiness I was looking for.

 

For the other 17 months, I have been rejected on dating websites. I have socialized with more medical students looking for who might be interested, but nobody is willing to invite me to their parties from the medical student side. I was able to get to two medical resident parties but I wasn't able to get real rapport like I got with those two ladies.

 

Other times the only opportunities are going around to churches, but you have to be semi honest about being religious to get any real rapport there. I would only be there to enjoy the music. I am unable to appeal to the churchgoers religious side as I am not very enthusiastic about that department (except for the fact that I play the pipe organ).

 

People have referred me to social events with Chinese people, but while they share my ethnicity, I have honestly tried to bond with them and it is incredibly difficult. I have tried multiple times to ask where the social events are but I am being excluded. People invite each others to social events but not me.

 

I've tried to figure out where all the nursing and resident parties are at but I have encountered a wall of silence. I however hear about parties all the time as I go around the hospital seeing patients.

 

Thanks preraph for mentioning the other Asian doctor who got dates, but he ended up moving to Florida for work and better prospects. I have yet to see another Asian physician here be successful in dating.

 

I've in the meantime tried to socialize with as many medical students as I can, but I've never been able to get the genuine fire in the eye and knowledge that I am having an intellectually satisfying conversation like when I was talking with those two women who were taken. I've never had reciprocating interest and have in fact told some of them (plus medical residents) that I am looking, but they actively refer each other on dates, but never help me out in this endeavor. When I go outside in restaurants, there are dates everywhere, except with me.

[preraph]

You know, there's an entire network of Indian Health System in Oklahoma.