l12 Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 The story so far… Jan 2019 - Katy (not her real name) started at my work (a school) – I am senior to her. The attraction was instant between us and we would send nice messages to each other… March 2019 – I had helped her out by writing a reference for a job at work. She WhatsApp’d me to say thanks. April 2019 – At a works do. We were chatting, I was staring at her, it was like there was no one else in the room! At the end of the night I offered her a lift home. She accepted. We hugged passionately goodbye and then I told her that I had thought about kissing her. We didn’t because I didn’t go through with it. April/ June 2019 – it was a bit awkward at work but we soon got back to flirting. I emailed to ask what would have happened if I tried to kiss her, she said she could not tell me because if she was too honest that would change our relationship. I told her I think about it all the time. She said if she was single it would have been a definite…. I asked if we could talk about it in person. We never did. June/ July 2019 – the emails and flirting between us petered off. My feelings for Katy got more intense. Summer break – We did not contact each other at all. Sept 2019 – A bit awkward to start with but the flirting and looks started to happen again. Oct 2019 – She now emails infrequently. I get few flirty looks at work. But we still have some nice chats and I can make her laugh. I think we know that we are not friends/ more than friends. Really, I would think less of her if she did anything if she had a boyfriend so I guess i am waiting for her to finish with him... She is still with him because if they split up she would have to move back home (around 100 miles away) and she is on training course here for two years... I am sure some of you will tell me to move on, and I am with other women, but this girl has me hooked at the moment! Is the attraction still there ? Yes (I think), but she is not as forward anymore. I do not know what to do next to get us back to where we were. Please help. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 What you do now is back off. Katy is playing games. She likes the attention but since the BF is still there, if you haven't already been friend zoned, you will find yourself on the outside looking in even if she does eventually dump the BF. She will cry to you. You will comfort her. Then she will move on to a different man. Put a heck of a lot of distance in here. Right now you are an orbiter. Talk to her about work things during work hours. Be pleasant & professional but that's it. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 It's too bad you have these feelings for her on 2 counts: she has a BF AND this is a work context and you're her supervisor. Either of those reasons are good reasons to NOT go through with anything. My very strong suggestion is to walk away from this. Is a fling worth getting punched out by some guy and then losing your job due to policy violations and/or harassment charges (possibly unwarranted if her BF urges her to make them)? Look at this logically and walk away. I'm sure you're attracted, unfortunately, but there are other (available) fish in the sea. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 You had your chance it didn't work, you are now friend-zoned. Forget it, it is going nowhere. She isn't interested and I doubt she ever really was past "friendship". This is mainly in your head. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 Yeah, I was in a similar situation at work. I spent the entire 3 years I knew that girl trying to put distance between us. Best of luck at doing the same. Link to post Share on other sites
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