CityGirl88 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 The guy that I have been dating for almost two years says he does not want a relationship with me. He is only interested in us being friends. I told him that I was not interested in a friendship with him and that he could move on. He has left lots of his personal belongings at my house. He never takes anything home, he just keeps leaving more stuff at my house. You would think he would want his stuff back. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Tell him you're putting his things in a box. They'll be waiting for him on your porch. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Westernxer has got it right. This guy who's leaving stuff at your place is clearly trying to manipulate you. Have none of it. Pick through the good stuff, then put the rest out. Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Ah interesting... I have a male friend whom I have had a discussion about the opposite sex leaving trinkets at ones house. He say's : When a man or a woman leaves something of theirs at his or her house/apt its because they want strings--a excuse to come over, a feeling of rights to you. This guy says he only wants to be friends? It sounds to me like he wants access to you no matter what he says he wants. He feels a right to you because you hold his belongings. Men are possessive in nature and if you want to be free to do what you want and you don't want him to have any say as to what you do. You need to pack his stuff up in a box and make sure you make him take it. With one of my exbfs I made him keep a ring of mine. I told him to hold onto it until I ask for it back. I told him "it will always give me one last reason to see you." I ment that literally. I never got to ask for it back. He "threw" it at me when he broke everything off with me including any kind of friendship. I wanted to have a string to him.. He didn't allow it. When I got the cheap ring back I lost my excuse to see him again.. Do u understand? He is leaving tokens.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CityGirl88 Posted October 1, 2005 Author Share Posted October 1, 2005 Padameckla: Yes, I agree with you. What you said is exactly the way I was seeing it as well. I think it is an excuse for him to see me again when he is ready. I wanted to see if anyone else was seeing it that way. Maybe he doesn't want me, but he doesn't want to let me go either. I just don't know. I do know that he has a lot of issues right now and doesn't know what he wants. I certainly won't be contacting him though. Link to post Share on other sites
SilentPrayer Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Hey, Me and my X did that to one anther. I left things like scarves...elastics...tooth brushes....combes....underwear...a shirt...and skirt. I had all those things in his place....and one day I was looking for my undies under his bed...and I found a pair of shorts. Womens shorts...I asked what they were doing there..and he said "I dont know". I put them back...and a few days later....he dropped by my house with all my stuff in a bag. He never took his things back from my place.....eye contact stuff...a few things..sweaters...stuff like that...and his toothbrush. He broke it off with me 2 days after he dropped my stuff off...but then...he came back??? and he would never remove his stuff from my house until he left me for good...for a job in another city. So yeah...I got my stuff returned and his remained in my house. I still have his contact eye stuff...but no sweater.... I always thought..he has these things here so he can come by someday...and get them when he wants...but my stuff returned to me...so I ahve no reason to stop by...but we had an off and on relationship...its funny though..because everytime it was about to end.."for a week" he would make sure he left something @ my place...like a bike helmet for his streetbike..ah sweaters..anything...and when I tried to return them..he wouldnt let me. SO yeah...he WANTS strings to you big time. If he is very persistant to leave things with you...then he wants to have a reason to go back to you...and for you to remember him by. If you don't want that....then drop them off @ his house....or the next time he picks you up for whatever reason...BRING them with you. SImply said SIlent:love: Link to post Share on other sites
pinksparkle Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 When my ex broke up with me, he took back all his stuff. His teddy bear, his books, and his shot glass. When I asked about my things, he said he would mail them to me. He called me the next day and when I asked about his stuff he said that I had to come down and get it. ( He goes to NCSU, and I am at a community college in VA). I still have his ATM card, his ID for some club, a couple other things, important things, but he has never asked for them back. I agree that it is just something to keep you together. I went down the other weekend to see friends, ended up seeing him, and asking about my stuff and when I said something about taking it, he seemed sad and depressed. I am hoping it is a good sign, and hopefully it is for you too. Link to post Share on other sites
BadBadGirl Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 if neither of you are interested in a relationship or friendship with each other, why is still coming to your house? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CityGirl88 Posted October 2, 2005 Author Share Posted October 2, 2005 BadBadGirl: That is a very good question. If he doesn't want a relationship with me (which he says he does not), why in the hell is he still coming to my house and inviting me to his. I would also like to know that. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 BadBadGirl: If he doesn't want a relationship with me (which he says he does not), why in the hell is he still coming to my house and inviting me to his. I would also like to know that. Backup action. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CityGirl88 Posted October 2, 2005 Author Share Posted October 2, 2005 Sorry, but what is backup action? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 He wants you to be his rainy-day substitute. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CityGirl88 Posted October 2, 2005 Author Share Posted October 2, 2005 Like hell! That's not gonna happen. Thanks Westernxer. Link to post Share on other sites
SilentPrayer Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 Like hell! That's not gonna happen. Thanks Westernxer. Ah...I was waiting for you to come to this conclusion. Amen girl...you're doing yourself good. Anyhow....mark your fugin territory. Tell him your house is meant for stuff of your owne...and that if he wants a relationship..he will have a few spots in the house for his stuff...but if not..it's dead weight...and a clutter and you don't want it around. Tell him you'de rather be his sunny day lover...then rainy day backup. It's either what I suggested...or you give him a cold hard reason to never come back again. Keep me posted on what you're plans are. Link to post Share on other sites
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