Marry a divorced guy

[Srijohn]

I’m female 25. I’m in love with a divorced guy. He and his ex got separated as she was into women. He has been in the marriage for 5 years before getting divorced. They both didn’t have physical relation in those 5 years. She was not interested in him though he tried so hard for years.

 

He caught her with another women through messages.she has gone to other state for job and used to come home rarely. There is a proof that she has slept with a women. Then he lost interest in her. I knew him since 2 years and is a very honest person. He and i used to be close before he ended his marriage. Before taking divorce he has asked me if i could marry him and that he wants a new life. Everyone who knows him never said a bad thing about him.

 

I understood his patience from how he let his ex wife without having physical relation for 5 years. So i said yes. They took divorce and after everything is over she is now filing cases against him that he cheated her and asking court to cancel divorce. I spoke to my parents reg him but not his 1st marriage. They agreed to our marriage. Now I’m very scared to marry him coz of his ex.

 

Is there any chance that divorce can be cancelled? If it is the case I will be no where. I cannot tell my parents that he is divorced. And note that the divorce was through mutual consent. Please suggest.

Edited November 3, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

What does he say about all this? What country do you in? I've never heard of a divorce being "canceled" although the process can be stopped if it hasn't been finalized.

[schlumpy]

This is very hard to assess.

 

Can you explain the customs and laws of the country you live in that are affecting you?

 

I guess I understand the family pressure and very happy I don't have to live with that, although it can be plus as well as a minus. It just depends on what kind of characters your family consists of.

 

So a divorced man is considered not acceptable. That's a tough one to get around. Are you not afraid that later, when your family finds out, they will be angry about it?

 

I have to tell you that I doubt your boy friends story about his wife. Five years is a long time for a healthy adult male to go without sex especially when married. I don't know any man that would put up with that. Maybe six months if they thought their wife had a medical or mental problem but 5 years? It's hard to imagine.

 

So I'm going to urge you to pretend you are a newspaper reporter and seek out three or four sources that will either agree with your boy friends story or possibly disagree.

 

I think you need to step back, take a deep breath and examine his intentions a second and maybe a third time. Something is not adding up.

 

As far as cancelling a divorce, I know they can be dragged out here in the USA depending what state you live in but I've never heard of one being cancelled. You should refer to the laws of your country of residence.

[mark clemson]

Is there any chance that divorce can be cancelled? If it is the case I will be no where. I cannot tell my parents that he is divorced. And note that the divorce was through mutual consent. Please suggest.

 

 

We can't answer that question because we wouldn't know. You need to talk to a lawyer in your country/jurisdiction for the answer to that.

[carhill]

Welcome to LS. Generally, infidelity is a grounds for divorce being granted, though such 'fault' has become far less common in the US, replaced by no-fault divorce. However, it does still exist in some areas of the US and in other countries. Also generally, once a court dissolves a marriage by its legal process, that's it. They're not going to reinstate it, especially not if a typical grounds for divorce occurred like infidelity.

 

I'd spend time with the man, get to know him 'close' as a divorced man, and be up-front with your parents regarding his divorce. It appears parents of adults have sway in your culture in matters of marriage so, presuming you respect those traditions, be transparent and truthful with your parents. Things will work out for you and this man if you and he are meant to be together.

[Billiam]

It seems pretty simple:

 

 

1. Obtain a copy of the legal document confirming the divorce.

1a. If you have doubts about the guy's veracity (or just want to be safe), obtain the court documents such as depositions, complaints, testimony, whatever. Depending on your state, this could be as simple as a web search or as difficult as traveling to a records facility.

 

 

2. Make no promises or plans with the guy until the legal proceedings are finalized.

 

 

3. Make your decision to proceed based, partly, on how closely the court documents conform to the b.s. he told you all along.

[major_merrick]

The guy sounds somewhat like my husband. His ex-wife divorced him for various reasons. He started seeing someone before the ink on the divorce was dry, and it has worked out. I wouldn't worry about it - nobody is going to rush back into a marriage where there was no physical relationship. IDK why people still see a divorce as indicating something terrible about a man.