Wink! - How women signal men

[SumGuy]

{MODERATORS NOTE: THESE POSTS WERE MOVED HERE TO CREATE A TOPIC DESERVING OF ITS OWN THREAD. FOR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY SEE Hey! I'm interested! - How men signal women.}

One sure way, just do OLD and wait for people to like/match you. Not perfect but a start

 

In real life, day-to-day I just look for interest in engaging with me, like holding a conversation. Also if the person seems to laugh at all your jokes, you could be a natural comedian or likely they share your sense of humor which is very much a part of interest.

 

Of course professionals where this is there job, like bar tenders, and waitresses, I haven't figured out there signals of interest. Had to be told once by female friends having a drink with a waitress was hitting on me, she was.

 

There are a lot of body language things I pick up on, even subconsciously. I believe you can only learn them in real life with someone to wing person it for you. Preferably someone of the gender and orientation you are seeking.

 

Although there is one that is almost always pretty positive, the getting close, closing the personal space (when it is not necessary do to crowding or noise) is positive. Now lack of it doesn't mean lack of interest, just the presence of it usually does.

Edited November 4, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Legatus]

My two cents:

 

Slight physical contact. Let's be honest, not all of us are those guys that just "go for it" and I personally need to be at least 97% sure that my physical contact will be welcomed. I noticed that a good way of checking it is giving a compliment and some of them will blush or say "oh stop it" and doing the hand thing on my thigh, arm, shoulder.

 

I think the conversation is also one of the biggest part. I am a sapiosexual and find when I can talk about a range of subjects, from increase in racism since Brexit to a silly tv show, very attractive. It's not about being part of Mensa but have an opinion, challenge mine, even tease but always with respect - I do the same.

Edited November 3, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Mysterio]

I am a man. The more a woman can talk to me in a more casual way and we are almost coming off as old war buddies catching up. The more I am attracted to her.

 

The more stark and cold and does not ask me questions about myself and I feel like I have to lead every conversation. I feel like its a chore and I want out.

 

For me I seem to get more action if it happens, when I am more laid back and not caring to appeal to any romantic vibe with a woman. Never when I am making the effort.

 

I don't know why that is. I don't think my future long term romantic relationship with a woman is going to be a woman that I am actively pursuing. Its almost like, I will make a female aquintance, I am pursuing her friend, but she will be the one that is into me.

[d0nnivain]

Women tend to signal interest by eye contact, body language angled toward you & leaning in, & by breaking the touch barrier. If she touches you, it's a signal that it's OK to touch her in kind.

 

Assume waitresses, bartenders & sales people are being nice to you because it's their job. If they are actually interested they will make that clear outside of their place of employment. For example when I was a bartender, if I was interested in a customer I would invite him along to the inevitable after work party.

[carhill]

OP, good on ya for opening the discussion and I trust I'll die in ignorance. One sure commonality I've enjoyed/experienced over the decades were what I thought were overt, even if subtle, signs of interest like being discussed here ending up being the machinations of married women to generate attention.

 

 

I tested this recently with someone in my new locale who hit me up, showed me around, and conversated with me inviting me to sit next to her on a bench in the woods by her house. She appeared single, didn't see a man around, and she even hugged me when we parted. She even left eggs on my porch a few times after that. Thinking, hmm, well, OK, invite her over to check out my place and conversate on the porch or go for a walk along the creek, something she said she enjoyed. Nothing came of it, tried a few times, even brought her some empty egg cartons for her stock since her chickens produce far more than she can use and thanked her for them but told her I can't really eat many because of my gall bladder so it wasn't like I was angling for more freebies. Anyway, I'll die in ignorance. I was probably ignorant the entirety of my marriage too. Such is life.

[preraph]

I would not have let that fresh egg woman get away! Gallbladder schmallbladder.

[mark clemson]

Link back to a prior thread on essentially the same topic:

 

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/water-cooler/690489-20-signs-girl-likes-you

[SumGuy]

P.S. I didn’t start this thread. I can only report on my own experience and would have no idea of what signals I’ve missed.

[chillii]

When l was 15 a girl down the road had been eyeing me for mths, didn't know her never talked. One day we were walking toward each other on the street and l thought ok this is my chance to impress, like we do when we're kids, bloody funny really.

As we got closer l thought ok, l'm gonna be all cool and wink at her, l can't wink, 50s now still can't wink.

Needless to say l made a total fool of myself and her and her friend kept laughing all the way down the street as we passed.

Never did that one again

[alphamale]

chillii i don't see any application for winking in polite society...

[somanymistakes]

As a teenager I'm pretty sure my way of showing interest in a guy was staring like a creepy stalker until he got weirded out and left.

[carhill]

I would not have let that fresh egg woman get away! Gallbladder schmallbladder.

Truth stranger than fiction?

Just got back into the hood and evidently a couple weeks after that anecdote her youngest son returned and bla, bla, she was in SoCal visiting family and he committed suicide in the house by OD'ing on Benadryl. There were dozens of bottles laying around and evidently he had some sort of autoimmune disease like fibromyalgia or similar. She heard me arrive late this last Friday night evidently and gave me a big hug Saturday when seeing me. In the interim of months her second exH from SoCal moved into a nice travel trailer on the property and kept her in the game (instead of offing herself in despair over son's death) and I've been helping him out with some projects around the place and just talking. Every time she sees me she gives me a hug, whether he's around or not. No pretense, they're regular folk, he's a retired Marine and maritime mechanic. I kinda chuckle when he and I get going on mechanical stuff and she rolls her eyes and heads into the house. Anyway, her chickens are molting so hardly any eggs right now she says. OK, cool. Simple life. Agrees with me.

[alphamale]

I was at WalMart last night buying a new smoke detector. When I was in the line to pay this attractive woman made eye contact for just a second too long. She was with her husband and two kids. But I will take the compliment anyways

[SumGuy]

I’m thinking there are potentially other reasons for an extra second. Wouldn’t read too much into that.

[alphamale]

I’m thinking there are potentially other reasons for an extra second. Wouldn’t read too much into that.

 

I would...

[basil67]

I’m thinking there are potentially other reasons for an extra second. Wouldn’t read too much into that.

 

Assuming the woman is using eyes which show attraction, it's because we think the guy is attractive. That said, it doesn't mean we want to date them (as in Alpha's story), just that they are worth a second more looking at them.

[alphamale]

that's right basil

[basil67]

Yep. Got sprung looking a little too long at a hottie about 20 years my junior today

[chillii]

lots of things over the years but l think if l could pick just one common and fav one , more a pub or party type thing though because it takes a little while.

ls when she starts noticing you and kinda goes all girlie, love that one, so nice.

Or you both do with each other and you just feel it across a room or during whatevers going on it's just so obvious and strong for you both your just drawn and you both know it.

lt's a beautiful thing how this can happen between two total strangers

[SumGuy]

Oh I get the attraction eyes, and much, much more to it than a stare, there is body language as well..it’s a cliche though that guys think women are in to them because they stare at them.

 

Could well be you look odd, had too many items in the express lane, look familiar, likes your clothes, a slew of other reasons especially when with ones child and husband.

 

Heard way too many bros in my life proclaim she was into him because she was looking at him, and it is rarely the case. But even when shot down they continue to believe it is, then let the disparagement of women begin.

 

Kind of why I disowned this thread (I didn’t start it). I’ve never seen a thread on this kind of topic that was worth anything. There are unambiguous signs like she grabs you, but what people make out of the subtle stuff on forums to me is more projection and will not help you.

 

Sure subtle stuff exists but an Internet forum thread isn’t the medium to capture it.

[Grumpybutfun]

My daughter in law just informed me a few days ago that she got caught staring at a young dude who had a booger hanging out of his nose. He took the stare as an invitation to ask for her number, and was discombobulated when she revealed the booger interloper. Assume nothing.

?

Grumps

[alphamale]

if you are good looking you're bound to get noticed

[todreaminblue]

if i like a guy ill engage him in conversation...i am interested in him and how he thinks what he is about...... so i probe......not like alien probe but subtle i guess....probing.....i dont treat him any differently than a friend...i make them feel comfortable enough to talk to me...make them feel appreciated....and try to let them open up and have a good time talking to me......then the ball is in their court normally....

 

the only thing is when i make guys feel comfortable they tend to tell me things ...that i really dont want to hear and it can turn me off them....i had a handy man fixing my door handle in my ensuite.....and he opened up and told me he had served time for manslaughter and using excessive force... for killing an intruder with a baseball bat...he seemed so gentle ....he was protecting himself though....but i had mental images of him clubbing a guy to death.....before that came out i was interested........so yeah...that sort of openness....can make me feel a little..off and awkward..i just dont think myself and dating guys who arent friends i have known for a long time ....go together......deb

Edited November 20, 2019 by todreaminblue

[chillii]

Oh I get the attraction eyes, and much, much more to it than a stare, there is body language as well..it’s a cliche though that guys think women are in to them because they stare at them.

 

Could well be you look odd, had too many items in the express lane, look familiar, likes your clothes, a slew of other reasons especially when with ones child and husband.

 

Heard way too many bros in my life proclaim she was into him because she was looking at him, and it is rarely the case. But even when shot down they continue to believe it is, then let the disparagement of women begin.

 

Kind of why I disowned this thread (I didn’t start it). I’ve never seen a thread on this kind of topic that was worth anything. There are unambiguous signs like she grabs you, but what people make out of the subtle stuff on forums to me is more projection and will not help you.

 

Sure subtle stuff exists but an Internet forum thread isn’t the medium to capture it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

l agree on all that standard crap , especially the hair thing, God almighty my sisters play with hair all the time around me, your grandmother will.

l mean to go on just some stock from the box standard one sign like a lot of guys do round here.

Stuff l talked about is none of the stuff you'll read in forums, but very real lived it plenty back in the day , but l find most in forums wouldn't know what l was talking about they seem to need some list.l always find that so damn weird for such a natural instinctive human interaction between 2 people.

Edited November 21, 2019 by chillii

[Envy123]

My retail ex-coworker initiated all contact with me, and I initially thought that she was just being friendly. This was because it was pretty similar to how friendships were formed back in school, so I thought nothing of it.

 

But then she ramped up the contact, talked to me about the most frivolous things, called me adorable and gave me her contact details. She only decided to block me after I told her that we are just friends. Ouch.