Tommorow is the day I find out the truth...

[GuitarGuy7]

Well let’s put it this way, if I dated a woman I wasn’t attracted to at all, she was grossly overweight and facially unattractive, then it would be a crappy relationship because I simply wouldn’t care about making it work. And why would I want to? I’m not even attracted to her in the first place...

 

She’d probably think I was secretly gay or asexual since I’m not interested in having sex. No, I’m just not interested in having sex with YOU.

 

So yeah, it would probably be a pretty bad relationship.

[Flame Aura]

Well let’s put it this way, if I dated a woman I wasn’t attracted to at all, she was grossly overweight and facially unattractive, then it would be a crappy relationship because I simply wouldn’t care about making it work. And why would I want to? I’m not even attracted to her in the first place...

 

She’d probably think I was secretly gay or asexual since I’m not interested in having sex. No, I’m just not interested in having sex with YOU.

 

So yeah, it would probably be a pretty bad relationship.

Ok.

 

 

So today is the day - what did they say to you when you asked?

[Garcon1986]

Well let’s put it this way, if I dated a woman I wasn’t attracted to at all, she was grossly overweight and facially unattractive, then it would be a crappy relationship because I simply wouldn’t care about making it work. And why would I want to? I’m not even attracted to her in the first place...

 

She’d probably think I was secretly gay or asexual since I’m not interested in having sex. No, I’m just not interested in having sex with YOU.

 

So yeah, it would probably be a pretty bad relationship.

 

And the women who rejected you probably think exactly the same thing about you. Why not doggedly pursue women that you can bond with first as a starting point, rather than the magazine quality women who have 600 men chasing after them who are also bragging to each other about how many people are "in the waiting line"?

[Garcon1986]

And the women who rejected you probably think exactly the same thing about you. Why not doggedly pursue women that you can bond with first as a starting point, rather than the magazine quality women who have 600 men chasing after them who are also bragging to each other about how many people are "in the waiting line"?

 

When you get to be 70, 80 years old - hot girls will still be hot. What you will value at that time is personality. I have failed in finding women for so many years, and essentially only started dating at 26 - (I'm now 33) -

Why not try bonding with women over what you mutually like for starters? Having any Aspergers will mean that you will have trouble with nonverbal social cues just like me, but hey, what's holding you back from working with utmost determination on these things?

[GuitarGuy7]

And the women who rejected you probably think exactly the same thing about you. Why not doggedly pursue women that you can bond with first as a starting point, rather than the magazine quality women who have 600 men chasing after them who are also bragging to each other about how many people are "in the waiting line"?

 

 

That’s because at my age, any woman who’s decently attractive has literally dozens of men to choose from. Your average 5/10 girl can hop on Tinder and match with 50+ easily. Not even lying... any cute 21 year old girl nowadays has a ton of options, and has at least 1 or 2 male orbiters around.

 

If I pursued women that didn’t have plenty of options, then I’d be going after the super obese ugly chicks.

 

There’s a reason why women are far less likely to be incel.

[elaine567]

Your average 5/10 girl can hop on Tinder and match with 50+ easily

 

That is because she is average and so are most men.

5/10 is looked at here with disdain but most men cannot aspire to anything better as they are not anything better themselves, in fact some men would struggle to be judged 5/10.

Yet every struggling average/below average man on here seems to want at least 7+ women and that is just ridiculous, 7's are well above average looking women, they are looking for above average men, they are not going to settle for anything less, why would they?

[Envy123]

I had thought that due to my bad body shape, I'd only attract women similar to myself in terms of body shape. But I still attract the same sort of women as I had back when I was thin.

 

From my experience, some "7+ women" are willing to overlook a bad body shape but can't tolerate men being desperate, clingy or socially awkward.

[Foxhall]

I think a few years ago I asked the question that you are intending to ask, randomly texting women why they did not give me a second date!

 

I dont think you will get any answers that have not already been muted here,

 

in my case the main responses I got were

 

• It was hard to keep the conversation going on the date
  
• the physical attraction was not there
  

 

I think thats very similar to Mysterios answer earlier.

 

to improve my situation I worked hard at becoming better at holding conversation, I would be quite well read now at this point and could hold my own with anyone in conversation about many variety of topics,

 

similarly I would only ever have felt "average" on the looks front, but I have worked hard on physical fitness and so on to portray at least a "fit" image of myself and to feel more confident in myself,

 

building friendships or getting more comfortable talking to women is your target for the moment,

 

the sex and the relationships will follow.

[Garcon1986]

What you have done in the past has clearly failed. Why do you continue to refuse to try things differently? If you are taking a voluntary decision to be an incel, nobody can stop you. But why do you refuse to bond with women on common interests as a starter?

[Foxhall]

throwing in a flirty comment or two on a date goes along way too,

 

I might be talking on a date about whatever, but then Ill throw in a completely random line,

 

"you know what I find it very theraputic talking to you K"

 

and K will reply - ah I like when you flirt with me,

 

this type of banter and so on will come to you with practice:cool:

[Garcon1986]

It may be educational to share that even as a cardiologist, when I walk around and see patients, the nurses could care less that I am there, but if a tall black cardiologist comes through, everyone wants to see him. The need to be around shiny cool stuff is universal.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

If I pursued women that didn’t have plenty of options, then I’d be going after the super obese ugly chicks.

 

 

Or maybe skinny girls with poor socialization skills.

[Mysterio]

I still think this about GG7's situation. He is getting way too bent out of shape about having or getting a GF. Or Dating in gerneral. I don't think he is vetting beyond looks.

 

I thought about this. Its impossible for women and men to go into a room and accept everyone romantically. Its just the way that it is. If GG7 had 100 women around his age, assess his romantic viability towards them. I think that 6 women would like him out of 100. Women are usually in the rejecting mode. Otherwise there would be more at minimum, FWB types of relationship.

 

Whats an assigned number when it comes to looks. I don't know what that would be. I see myself as a cross between handsome and cute. I don't see myself as a 5 or 10.

 

I am not a Virgin, but I am not bedding a lot of women as well. I don't want to. I don't find them that facinating beyond looks for the most part.

 

GG7 I just think that you should take a break come the new year. Work on yourself. You have to Vet the women your going to want to date, beyond physical looks. You have to believe in yourself and actually put Women on a scale of 1 to 10 and keep them at a 9 in terms of dating them. They can charm you into putting them to a 6 which on my scale is just dating them. Then a 3 in which your a Long Term Couple.

 

So my Scale is 9=possible dating. 6=Dating and exploring a LTR between you. 3 a commited LTR be it Marriage/BF-GF. She is never to be a #1. You are your own #1. At best she is a three to you and vice versa. #1 your physical health and peace of mind/Spiritual peace as well.

[chillii]

That’s because at my age, any woman who’s decently attractive has literally dozens of men to choose from. Your average 5/10 girl can hop on Tinder and match with 50+ easily. Not even lying... any cute 21 year old girl nowadays has a ton of options, and has at least 1 or 2 male orbiters around.

 

If I pursued women that didn’t have plenty of options, then I’d be going after the super obese ugly chicks.

 

There’s a reason why women are far less likely to be incel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bs. Yet another struggling guy shooting himself in the foot. lf l was a struggling single guy last thing on this planet l'd be doin is spreading bs like this all over the net and making my lack of love life even harder . Matter of fact, if l was gonna spread bs all over the net it'd be someting like what l'm saying here to help my cause. Hence 50s now and rarely single since l was 14.

At the end of the day women have just as much trouble finding someone special as men do, maybe more in fact because we can go asking women out but they often don't wanna do that.. Why do you think there's just as many single women as there are men on average , often more. And on date sites for years , and all over ls , and ra ra ra. l know great looking single women been single for yrs.

My daughters nearly 20 and absolutely gorgeous if l do say so myself. Not only but she's got the coolest personality you'll ever find , if l do say so myself again.

She's been single 12mths and actually had to ask her bf now , out herself.

Which pissed me off actually , she's too good for that bs so he better behave or l'll be on his case.

 

ps. anyway , it's way past tomorrow , so what's the verdict.

Edited November 6, 2019 by chillii
ps

[spiderowl]

GuitaryGuy, there are beautiful women out there, certainly. Some of them are beautiful people too. Some are no more interesting than anyone else and they rely on their looks for attention.

 

I can guarantee that if you joined a new group of some kind, when you start there, there would be women that stand out because they are beautiful and/or confident. As you get talking to people and get to know them better, others will stand out more because they are interesting. The more you get to know the group, the more you will see that some you barely noticed initially are now the most interesting people there, because they have something special - personality, kindness, talent, or even a particular natural scent.

 

After a while, one of these women will become especially attractive to you. You will want to spend time with her and fend off other guys. The strange thing was, she was not on your list of the most attractive/interesting people when you joined that group and yet your unconscious filter gradually tracked her down.

 

You cannot gauge the value of a person to you or anyone else at first glance. That only comes with time. Are you allowing yourself that time to get to know people, I wonder?

[Pat77]

Or those willing to change their expectations to match reality.

 

In order to get the "cute" girls you have to at least be equally "cute".

 

This idea you have that looks are everything and only people that you think are exactly equal in attractiveness get together is kinda sad and shallow.

 

I’ve dated women people thought were much less objectively attractive then me more attractive then me etc and I was attracted to them all because it’s not all about looks it’s about two people having chemistry and that isn’t about being similarly physically attractive.

 

You seem like the type of person who’d have fun on a date but go im a 7 he’s only a 6 I can do better.

Edited November 11, 2019 by Pat77

[Garcon1986]

Pat elaine is just being realistic I think, there are lots of women who either through their actions or statements, think in this way. Either way GuitarGuy needs to try to bond with women first over common interests and not immediately chase sexual attraction.

[elaine567]

I put "cute" in inverted commas as cuteness in a guy to a woman is not necessarily just about a handsome face, it is the whole package.

Men are luckier, they can get away with "average/below average" in the looks department if they have other assets - charm, personality, money, power, likeability, entertainment value etc. or just by being obvious father/husband material. Many women are not looking for a "male model", they just want an honest decent guy who would be an excellent "role model" for their kids

In order for GG7 to secure a "cute" girl, he needs to offset his lack of height, his self confessed "cold" personality and his Asperger's, by working on other stuff to increase his overall "cuteness" level to women.

[mark clemson]

While what you say is true, I'm not sure "luckier" is quite correct. Certainly there are many men who would trade a couple of their toes for the ability to just put on some revealing clothes and walk into a bar or nightclub with a very good probability of bringing a lady home.

[Pat77]

I put "cute" in inverted commas as cuteness in a guy to a woman is not necessarily just about a handsome face, it is the whole package.

Men are luckier, they can get away with "average/below average" in the looks department if they have other assets - charm, personality, money, power, likeability, entertainment value etc. or just by being obvious father/husband material. Many women are not looking for a "male model", they just want an honest decent guy who would be an excellent "role model" for their kids

In order for GG7 to secure a "cute" girl, he needs to offset his lack of height, his self confessed "cold" personality and his Asperger's, by working on other stuff to increase his overall "cuteness" level to women.

 

Fair enough but I think you’re underestimating that men can have attraction build for them as well.

 

I’ve had women I wasn’t physically attracted to right away but there personality our chemistry etc made me attracted to them.

 

It’s not like only attractive women are in relationships.

[preraph]

Pat, this particular man seems unable to, just from his history of threads all along the same lines, but i agree with you in theory.

[Juha]

Unfortunately GG you need to overcome some things going against you.

I can empathize with you, it can be really tough as people for the most part do not give other a fair chance when it comes to dating.

 

Mostly people decide in 10 minutes or first date whether that person is viable to date long term or not. How you can decide that quickly without even knowing someone is beyond me.

 

To be 100% honest, I will probably get beaten on for saying this, if you become successful and have money, dating becomes easier and won't be a problem. Now, you may not meet the type of woman to have anything serious with but you will have plenty of dates and fun.

 

I will step down and wait for my beating... lol

[elaine567]

While what you say is true, I'm not sure "luckier" is quite correct. Certainly there are many men who would trade a couple of their toes for the ability to just put on some revealing clothes and walk into a bar or nightclub with a very good probability of bringing a lady home.

 

Everyone concentrates on average/good looking women being able to pick up men at will but no-one mentions the women that men don't want.

The "ugly", the misshapen, the socially inadequate... The women with no boobs, thick waists and flat butts, the too thin, the too fat, the unfortunate personalities, the lack of social skills... etc.

The women who always go home alone...

They are the actual female equivalent of a lot of the male strugglers on here

The women who get no male attention whatsoever.

[ZA Dater]

To be 100% honest, I will probably get beaten on for saying this, if you become successful and have money, dating becomes easier and won't be a problem. Now, you may not meet the type of woman to have anything serious with but you will have plenty of dates and fun.

 

I will step down and wait for my beating... lol

 

Absolutely true in my opinion.

 

My take OP is this is a lousy idea, I thought about it from time to time but its pointless because the issues are likely ones you cannot fix or you wont get an honest answer.

 

You need to be strong, what you are projecting in this thread is not of a strong person, take the bad and simply let it wash off you, you might enjoy life more if you did that.

 

My indifference towards dating here is well known, like you all I wanted to was date, until I actually had some decent dates and I wondered what made this so great, in short it wasn't that great, the people didn't live up to what I had in mind, yes some were considered good looking but there was no connection. You I think put too much stock on dating being this magical thing, my experience is, it simply isn't.

 

For some its amazing I am sure but the core of it simply doesn't work unless you are with someone who truly amazes you.

 

I wonder how this pursuit is negatively effecting your life, do you look in the mirror and what do you think?

 

Emotion is a huge part of life but we don't all feel it the same way, we don't all react the same way to the same things.

 

You need to find some positive emotion in life, I can relate to many of your threads, I am 5.9 tall and slim and my dating prospects are pretty poor. so when people say height is important its all relative.

[SumGuy]

..

To be 100% honest, I will probably get beaten on for saying this, if you become successful and have money, dating becomes easier and won't be a problem. Now, you may not meet the type of woman to have anything serious with but you will have plenty of dates and fun.

 

I will step down and wait for my beating... lol

 

Not sure if this is a beating I just wonder if this is from actual experience or just speculation.

 

How do you separate the confidence a man can acquire by acquiring material success from the material successes as the source of attraction?

 

I guess you could do a study of lottery winners, but you may have to control for gold-diggers.

 

In general though not bad advice, being successful at your material life is attractive for the very character traits that get you that success.