Reasons Why I Rejected Someone

[preraph]

Maybe this will help some of those so curious about why they were rejected.

 

I'm thinking of brief answers, not the whole relationship story here. And it's for when you rejected people you either rejected a first date for or dumped after one to three dates.

 

I usually rejected someone because I had a crush on one of their friends or because they weren't attractive to me.

[normal person]

I'm sure this forum could collectively fill volumes on this topic.

Reasons I've rejected or broken up with someone:

 

- Weren't attractive to me and/or no chemistry of any kind (overwhelming majority)

- Not intelligent enough

- Too young or too old

- Too tall (5'7"+), and at least one girl who was too short (>4'11")

- Was new to New York and wanted to do tourist stuff like go to the Empire State building

- Was new to the country from Germany and despite speaking impeccable English, couldn't understand many of my cultural references or jokes

- Unmotivated

- Crude

- Too nice

- Squeeky voice like a mouse

- Geographically undesirable (lived more than few subway stops away)

- Frequently very late, poor time management

- Incompatible lifestyle

- Too sensitive (emotionally)

- Annoying accent

- Uninteresting in general

- Talked about herself too much

- Unlikeable friends

- Too dramatic

- Thought "actress" was a viable career choice

- Dating this person would complicate other relationships

 

etc

 

I think you'll find a lot of the same. Strange to think about all the rejections we give in a lifetime.

Edited November 4, 2019 by normal person

[GuitarGuy7]

Reasons why I would reject someone:

 

- Too fat

- Too tall

- I find them physically unattractive

- One girl was too sick and unhealthy.

- Being too high-strung

- Rude to me and to others.

- Being a smoker

- Waiting for marriage to have sex.

- Being asexual

[Envy123]

-They are taken and want to cheat with me.

-Lack of chemistry/no spark.

-Can't have a meaningful conversation with them.

-Uncomfortable that they keep staring at me when I'm there to swim.

[preraph]

Normal, love the squeaky voice one! I knew a whole family when I was a teen and the mom and both the daughters had voices that no matter what they said, sounded like "ooo-rooo" high baby stuff. Ugh.

[d0nnivain]

I suppose the reasons include:

 

1. Not attractive

 

2. Desperate / clingy

 

3. Vulgar

 

4. Socially awkward

 

5. Bad kisser / bad dancer (as in so uncoordinated that I knew the horizonal mambo would be just as bad or worse)

 

6. Telegraphed his emotional or actual unavailability

Edited November 4, 2019 by d0nnivain

[LivingWaterPlease]

1. No chemistry

 

2. Lacking social nuance

 

3. Spiritually incompatible

[The Outlaw]

Biggest reason for me is that I had been rejected shortly before. I'm not trying to sound macho, but I'm totally cut off to any and every potential connection. And I'm no different at 38. Sometimes I don't even see the point anymore.

[preraph]

Outlaw, maybe you need to meet women in some environment that mostly requires people to be ethical, like charity work, law enforcement, religion, animal rescue , something that a person wouldn't normally be drawn to if they weren't ethical. I do realize there's exceptions to all those, but...if you can see someone in action doing good things for others, that might be an indication they're okay.

[RecentChange]

Reasons....they are just about as plentiful as people aren't they?

 

My top reasons.

 

Lack of intelligence

Lack of chemistry

Lack of physical fitness

Lack of charisma / Socially akward

Lack of humor

Lack of things in common

 

I could go on.

 

I have rejected guys after a first date - and said that lack of physical attraction was the reason.

 

Truth one was overweight in an odd way - he had "lady fat" - I wouldn't be surprised if he had a hormone issue. But I didn't tell him "I can't get over your lady fat". I said attraction is fickle and I can't control it - you're a nice guy but I am not feeling it.

 

Another who got the same response - he didn't appear to take proper care of his teeth (I remember thinking NO WAY would I ever kiss that mouth). Again didn't tell him that exactly though.

 

I have rejected guys for being too needy / clingy / push over (I guess what some would call "beta"). I remember one wasn't taking my rejection for an answer and I told him "look, I'll end up chewing you up and spitting you out". I just knew I would be bulldozing him in short time, and I have no interest in being with a guy I can trod all over.

 

There are a few reasons.

[JuneGirl]

I rejected the last person 2 months ago because:

 

 

- His actions did not match up with his words. Promises were never kept. I figured if he could not keep a simple tiny promise, bigger promises were just never going to happen.

- He rarely spent time with me or called me, said he was too manly for that. But all his time went to his guy friends and hobbies. Yet he still wanted to secure me for marriage. LoL.

 

- He only gave me attention when he got horny, I started to feel that my only value to him was purely sexual as he didn't have actual conversations with me or try to get to know me.

- He started asking me for nudes in exchange of being religious. (Lol) This is sounding so hilarious to me now as I type it out. Its good to laugh about it now.

 

 

The last thing is why I broke it off, and never looked backed. As soon as I dumped him he came running back with full blown apologies, literally blew up my phone with them. Him begging and pleading definitely felt nice to my ego not gonna lie, but I never looked back or took him back.

[The Outlaw]

Outlaw, maybe you need to meet women in some environment that mostly requires people to be ethical, like charity work, law enforcement, religion, animal rescue , something that a person wouldn't normally be drawn to if they weren't ethical. I do realize there's exceptions to all those, but...if you can see someone in action doing good things for others, that might be an indication they're okay.

 

Preraph, I'm not trying to sound horrible, but I'm cut off because I really don't trust them. I'm not one of the guys that sits there and bemoans about how he's been treated and expects special treatment, (but I do sadly know a few) I'm chill with flying solo, but I also know that it isn't very healthy. It isn't an excuse, but it's the honest to god truth and with good reason in and outside the dating world.

[preraph]

^ I don't trust people either, but there are some with ethics who wouldn't be able to live with themselves if they did something unethical to someone. It's just hard to know that.

[snowboy91]

Some of these reasons seem really fickle! But I guess at the same time it's necessary to not end up in a situation where you're in an unhappy relationship.

 

Most relationships I see end, or someone is rejected, due to:

- Lack of chemistry

- Lack of compatibility in terms of future direction

- Lack of interest/hobby based compatibility (my last relationship ended partly for this reason)

(I find the three above often develop over time as people change)

- One or both partners don't respect the boundaries of the relationship (mostly cheating, or in the case of poly relationships, lack of communication)

- Not wanting to be in a relationship (nothing to do with the person being rejected).

- Already in a relationship.

 

I've just realised I've only really handed out one rejection in my adult life, which explains a lot...

[preraph]

So Outlaw, we've both rejected some people just based on we have no trust left!

[The Outlaw]

True, but some just don't seem to care if it's unethical or not. Part of not trusting people is my own fault because I was in simple terms, a sucker. I was too compassionate and sympathetic towards the wrong people that I'd at least thought were friends and I paid the price for it. One such thing happened just two years ago, and I let it change me. That and other things anyway. But I think I needed that swift kick in the keister.

[preraph]

I didn't need my swift kick in the keister. I could have done without it.

[The Outlaw]

I'm sorry, preraph. I hope I didn't offend you in anyway. But I just feel that I more than needed mine. I just had a little more growing up to do because I was entirely too trusting of people.

[Mysterio]

Recent Change. What do you mean rejection based on lack of intellegence. What is a Lack of Intellegence mean to you or in general.

[Happy Lemming]

I'm fairly easy going and don't reject women based on height or weight. I've dated women 4' 10" to 6' 1" and 98 pounds to 305 pounds. I think I have a normal age range requirement of 10 years +/-

 

I do remember a few times I rejected certain women

(1) Bi-sexual - I don't mind competing with other guys for a woman, but don't want to compete with both men and women.

(2) Minor Children - I tried to date a woman with a kid and it was a disaster, so "no kids"

(3) Bad Hygiene - If she smells bad (down there), I'm gone. I don't really care why, I just moving on, NEXT!

(4) Excessive drinking - "no" to women that get sloppy drunk on a regular basis.

(5) Illegal Drugs - illegal drug use is just a recipe for a disaster.

(6) Illegal activity - I did reject one woman, she was involved in some type of car/off road vehicle scam with her family. I hadn't quite figured out exactly how they were doing it, but saw enough to "jump ship".

[JuneGirl]

Other people I rejected:

 

 

- Bad hygiene

- Friends

 

- People who talk about suicide or illegal drugs

- Drunk texting or calling me

- People who just talk about gross things and topics, and porn, and general grossness

 

 

I just want a simple life man, is that too hard to ask for lol

[Lotsgoingon]

Just didn't feel an overwhelming connection.

 

Looks and appearance ... and for me ... it's just "can I look at this person's face frequently and feel good?"

 

Not a good conversationalist.

 

Didn't get my humor.

 

Too emotionally closed.

 

Not intellectual.

 

Not curious.

[thefooloftheyear]

For some reason, I have on several occasions attracted types of women that are stoners/potheads that have dirty feet, yellow teeth, and listen to the Grateful Dead, Phish and that type of crap...Why they would go for a fit/muscular guy that likes to eat clean, doesn't do drugs, and is kind of a neatnik??...I have no clue, they are usually nice, but while its flattering, I politely shooed them away...We'd have like nothing in common...

 

There are other criteria, but id rather not say..

 

TFY

[Shining One]

The most common ones for me:

• She's cheap/stingy
  
• She's lazy
  
• She is physically unappealing to me
  
• She's a bad conversationalist
  
• She's has a sense of entitlement
  

[JuneGirl]

@thefooloftheyear that was literally me, except I'm the fit toned girl, eats completely clean, never does drugs, spiritual, tries to live a good life and be kind etc etc, and I attracted the stoner/pothead cutter guys with criminal records with yellow teeth that call themselves misfits, post emo lyrics from bands that sing about drug OD experiences, and have done literally everything under the sun and turn to me because they want a good trustworthy girl in their life to settle down with