Lotsgoingon Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Good riddance. Dude, you escape a deep, deep, dark, and twist cave. Enjoy the air. It's best that she not talk to you, because she is toxic. Celebrate. You got lucky that SHE took the initiative. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 On 12/16/2019 at 2:15 PM, fishlips said: My co-worker said her 15 yo son believes in Santa, and she seemed pleased about it. I think it happens more than we think, even though it is weird. That just tells me that he's isolated socially for whatever reason. Otherwise, there is no way he doesn't know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 I do think CPS should be called. See an attorney first and get his advice and get the divorce ball rolling. Ask the attorney if she thinks you ought to alert CPS. It really worries me that your wife is keeping this kid at home isolated like that. He wouldn't know if it was inappropriate behavior or not unless his dad has talked to him about it, which I doubt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chesty Posted December 17, 2019 Author Share Posted December 17, 2019 Dad knows and doesn’t care - said he would take kids from her unless she left me... he is a serial cheater and married a stripper who bilked some guy out of millions according to my wife 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chesty Posted December 19, 2019 Author Share Posted December 19, 2019 (edited) Dad knows and doesn’t care - said he would take kids from her unless she left me... he is a serial cheater and married a stripper who bilked some guy out of millions according to my wife. Filed for divorce now 60:day waiting period to finish this nightmare. Saw my counselor yesterday and expanded on some of stuff soon to be ex wife and her son do ie he likes to pat her on the butt while playing basketball and they both smile when he does, how he puts his feet up on her chair with his foot in her groin and she lets him do it... she said she is in the process of contacting CPS... maybe justice will be served. Edited December 19, 2019 by Chesty 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 40 minutes ago, Chesty said: Saw my counselor yesterday and expanded on some of stuff soon to be ex wife and her son do ie he likes to pat her on the butt while playing basketball and they both smile when he does, how he puts his feet up on her chair with his foot in her groin and she lets him do it... she said she is in the process of contacting CPS... maybe justice will be served. OMG that is so creepy. Honestly I feel very badly for the son, he has been conditioned this way. Just curious, how old was the son when his parents divorce? Wonder if she replaced her husband with her son. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chesty Posted December 19, 2019 Author Share Posted December 19, 2019 2 hours ago, RecentChange said: OMG that is so creepy. Honestly I feel very badly for the son, he has been conditioned this way. Just curious, how old was the son when his parents divorce? Wonder if she replaced her husband with her son. She absolutely replaced her husband with her son. He was 3 when they divorced the dad. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 I've seen it before and I've seen it with people who still had a husband who just wasn't interacting. I don't know how far it ever went because if I knew for sure it did go far I would have reported it. When you see someone letting their child be the man of the house at a young age, to me that is a red flag. Once out in public, a son started rubbing his Mom's arm and it shocked me and I just happened to look up and the woman's mother knew I was having a reaction to it, but I couldn't tell what she thought. But I figured she was at least aware of it and she knew her better than me and might be the best person to know if it needed to be dealt with. I'm not going to lie it creeped me out, but I do not have children, so I was hesitant to jump to any conclusions. I talked to an out-of-state friend of mine who doesn't know this person and she wasn't as worried about it. she came from a family who kisses each other on the lips which also totally creeps me out. Anyway I'm glad you mentioned it to this therapist because she is licensed and she has to report things like that. It's highly likely nothing will come of it but maybe someone will at least ask the boy some questions and maybe get the father more involved whether he wants to be or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chesty Posted December 30, 2019 Author Share Posted December 30, 2019 (edited) CPS will be visiting her son at school... it’s about to get interesting... found out she lied about telling ex husband/ kids dad... CPS said they will visit him too as he needs to know. Edited December 30, 2019 by Chesty 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted December 31, 2019 Share Posted December 31, 2019 @Chesty you mentioned at the beginning your fear the kid would never man up and never leave the house. When I read that I thought oh boy you said something that is very possible. He may never leave your wife's side. My father and older sister functioned as a married couple without the sexual relationship. The only time they ever were separated was when my sister left for college. Mom tried to intervene into their relationship through out and dad divorced her for that and other reasons. When sister got married she didn't live full time with her husband or take his name, she lived part time with dad. Her marriage failed fast naturally and her and dad were together till the day he passed. You may have or I should say had a very long never ending difficult road in front of you with your wife and step son. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chesty Posted December 31, 2019 Author Share Posted December 31, 2019 I filed for divorce... wanted to fix it but realized I will always be second or third to her 17 year old and other son. She has some severe psychological issues that she can’t/refuses to recognize. One would figure if you had 2 marriages fail for the SAME EXACT reason one would re-evaluate what you are doing wrong... she’ll marry again and end up divorced in short order again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted December 31, 2019 Share Posted December 31, 2019 Congratulations. Definitely that marriage was a toxic, sinking ship. Great move to get out ... now onto your next move: figuring out how you missed all the red flags of this disaster of a woman. Not to berate yourself--but to grow and learn and be able to date really healthy people in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 31, 2019 Share Posted December 31, 2019 I would imagine that when he married her he thought he'd have more say and also get a little more priority. So I guess it's just one more example of you can't count on people changing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chesty Posted January 2, 2020 Author Share Posted January 2, 2020 (edited) I just wanted to be married and respected in marriage. I did all I could to show her I loved her and made her a priority - she seemed to have married me so she could have an Uber driver/caretaker for her younger son so she could give all her attention to older one. Lesson learned on my part. Life goes on. Funny she told me that she may have breast and cervical cancer - I briefly considered delaying divorce so that she could stay on insurance until she is healed. Then I realized that her actions have lead us to his point and she has done nothing to change or fix us so she can figure out on her own what she has to do. Maybe her 17 yo son/husband can get off his ass and get a job and get her on his insurance (sarcasm as he won’t leave mommy’s side for a minute never mind ever getting a job). Edited January 2, 2020 by Chesty 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 2, 2020 Share Posted January 2, 2020 (edited) It's good you're getting out of this situation. In my 20s, I got involved with a man with similar family dynamics - dysfunctional mother who leaned way too heavily on her sons after her husband died at age 40. She and her other sons saw our bond as a major threat and reacted with extreme drama to the point that I had to leave. It would have been a nightmare to marry into that family. Edited January 2, 2020 by Ruby Slippers 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chesty Posted January 3, 2020 Author Share Posted January 3, 2020 True but it still really sucks and hurts 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 3, 2020 Share Posted January 3, 2020 I'm sorry you're hurting. I'm sure it's not easy. In fact, I know from experience how much it hurts when you can't be with someone you really love because of this kind of problem. My point, mainly, is that this situation was dysfunctional before you had anything to do with it. We live, we learn. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CallienteMami Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 On 11/1/2019 at 4:38 PM, Beendaredonedat said: She "checked out" because she knows you are right but due to her codependent relationship with him, she'd rather be stubborn then have to change HER behaviour. This is about her and not her son who is just basking in her over indulgence. Its a shame what she is doing to him. Nailed it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chesty Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 2 hours ago, CallienteMami said: Nailed it! He’s going to make a counselor rich some day thanks to her 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chesty Posted March 9, 2020 Author Share Posted March 9, 2020 Divorced! Free at last! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 9, 2020 Share Posted March 9, 2020 Congratulations. You have survived the divorce and sound in good spirits! Hope it went okay. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted March 9, 2020 Share Posted March 9, 2020 2 hours ago, Chesty said: Divorced! Free at last! That must be a relief! I hope you now have some peace in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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