20yr & 32yr old relationship - serious advice & thoughts

[NatoPMT]

before she gets into this romantic mood where you picture your future babies.

 

dont make assumptions, who says she even wants children? I thought her family were pushing her to get married and she was resisting.

 

but what makes me suspicious is that a woman of 32 years is falling head over heels for a 20 year old guy without even having any doubts about the age difference and potential maturity issues

 

she is concerned. I think 20 is VERY young too, but it seems DotMasta is no child and you have to take each case on its merits. If it works, great. If not, its only gone the same way as most other relationships in the world go.

 

If he thought of doing something immature - like almost everyone does sometimes, give him extra credit for not carrying it out - a lot of people carry out their impulses without thinking it through and DotMasta had friends telling him what he should do and he didnt just go ahead - hes thought it out which i think is admirable.

[Aimée]

Sorry, I still think that something is weird with this woman (NOT with the other female posters who are dating younger guys, I've often appreciated your sound advice )

[PuppyDogEyes]

I am in the same situation as DotMasta, only I am the "older woman" in my relationship. The age difference is almost exactly the same (my boyfriend is 20, I am 33). (And no, I am not DotMasta's girlfriend, I swear. Different circumstances, different countries. Hehe.)

 

Believe me when I tell you that as far as I am concerned, I did everything that I could to attempt to convince my boyfriend that I was "too old" for him, that it wouldn't work out, that he needed time and space to enjoy his college life and his friends, so on and so on. The only response that he had was, "Let's at least give it a chance, okay?" I couldn't see the harm in that, so that's what I did. And I have never regretted my decision.

 

Like DotMasta, my boyfriend is more "mature" for his age than normal. Sometimes it *can* work out. I know that the odds are not good that it will be a "forever" relationship. I am American, and my boyfriend is from Luxembourg studying here in the U.S. I am determined to enjoy our time while we have it, and *if* there is a future, we will determine it as it goes along. He will be here for a while, so it's not as if it needs to be decided now. And if there is only a "now" and not a "later", I will still be happy with that, as I feel honored just knowing him, never mind being with him - I feel privileged on that count!

 

Although I've had more life experience than he has (maybe more so than usual, as my boyfriend has been very sheltered), he's welcomed and encouraged to explore different options and different scenes. I am prepared for the day when he will tell me, "I've found someone else a little closer to my age." I didn't walk into this situation blindfolded - I know perfectly well that that situation might happen, and the odds are that it *will*. He says not, but he is in the throes of his first love - I know this - and as we all know, first love is very, very powerful and very much like a drug. =)

 

Just thought I'd throw in my two cents on the subject, for what it's worth.

 

-pde.