Do you ever think about the one that got away?

[The Outlaw]

If you had one, and most if not all of us have, do you even still think about him/her?

[d0nnivain]

Every so often, usually when presented with Qs like this one or if something specific triggers a memory.

[Mr. Lucky]

Only from a standpoint of idle curiosity, it would be interesting to know what she was up to, no different than wondering what happened to my best friend from high school.

 

I try to put my energy into looking ahead and appreciating the substantial blessings I have...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Foxhall]

I do from time to time and along similar lines I posted here previously about dwelling on past mistakes,

 

you never know, what can happen too is the best can be ahead of you,

 

Op, we are about the same age I think and have similar thoughts,

 

 

on the ladies front I think have met someone really good this year, I could have kept dwelling on previous ones that slipped away,

 

perhaps striving to not stay still keep moving , keep seeking new experiences, plenty of time (we hope) to look back when we are older.

[Mrin]

Nope. Not a bit. And I have had some good ones that "got away" or were "tossed back". But I don't even think about them in a "what could have been" sort of way.

[thefooloftheyear]

No.....but I bet they do.....

 

 

TFY

[RecentChange]

Hum.... I don't have any that "got away" - in a sense that I pine over them or miss them.

 

When I met my now husband - I was dating a different guy - a really great guy! Smart, funny, successful, caring, good looking. He was Mr perfect on paper - and honestly I can't say anything bad about him.

 

But he was the perfect man for someone else. I just never had that spark for him, and staying wouldn't have been fair to either of us.

 

I haven't looked him up - in my mind he found someone better than me and is living a fairytale life. I hope for him that's true because he deserves it.

 

I am happy with my life - I don't spend much time wondering what would have happened if choose differently at a fork in the road.

[central]

Yes, I do think about her. We're still good friends, and she almost moved in with me and my wife as another (poly) partner. But I set her up with a good friend of mine, as I think they may make a great couple (so far, that's working!). No regrets as I think this could be even better for her (actually, both of them) than moving in with us, but if they don't work out, she may not have gotten away after all! She knows she has a place here, and has seriously considered it.

 

As for the past, some have gotten away, but that's all for the best, as time has shown. I have no regrets about those, either.

[todreaminblue]

if i truly cared for a guy in my past.....yes i do still think of them from time to time........i pray for them....hope the best for them....i have no regrets that chapters of my life are over........i am friends with most of my exes..either through phone or in person..i hold no grudges....everything ends for a reason.....deb

[mark clemson]

I've looked up several old GFs on the internet via idle curiosity (some guy friends as well). There was one who I cared deeply for at the time but it didn't work out.

 

I found out she had a very difficult life in many ways (including inability to have children and then breast cancer as well as a very lackluster career). Her appearance also took a negative turn (IMO, for others she may have been fine for her age).

 

I contacted her via a blog. I think sent her a written letter detailing "how my life had gone" since we parted. (I let my wife know all about this of course and did so with her permission.) She wrote back as well. But that was it. She had her adult BF. I have my wife and children. Separate lives and little to relate to each other over now (unlike when we were younger).

 

Overall I strongly feel it was for the best (as far as my personal happiness is concerned) that we didn't stay together, even though losing her was genuinely emotionally distressing at the time and I would have stayed with her and presumably married if it had been possible.

 

I used to think about her very occasionally. Now that I've satisfied my curiosity, even less. In truth what I was thinking about was a memory; the actual person she is now is someone who for better or worse I barely know.

 

Really, overall, "losing her" turned out for the best IMO.

[Piddy]

I've looked up several old GFs on the internet via idle curiosity (some guy friends as well). There was one who I cared deeply for at the time but it didn't work out.

 

I found out she had a very difficult life in many ways (including inability to have children and then breast cancer as well as a very lackluster career). Her appearance also took a negative turn (IMO, for others she may have been fine for her age).

 

I contacted her via a blog. I think sent her a written letter detailing "how my life had gone" since we parted. (I let my wife know all about this of course and did so with her permission.) She wrote back as well. But that was it. She had her adult BF. I have my wife and children. Separate lives and little to relate to each other over now (unlike when we were younger).

 

Overall I strongly feel it was for the best (as far as my personal happiness is concerned) that we didn't stay together, even though losing her was genuinely emotionally distressing at the time and I would have stayed with her and presumably married if it had been possible.

 

I used to think about her very occasionally. Now that I've satisfied my curiosity, even less. In truth what I was thinking about was a memory; the actual person she is now is someone who for better or worse I barely know.

 

Really, overall, "losing her" turned out for the best IMO.

 

I think many of us have a 'one that got away'. In my case it probably was good that she left me as I probably would've never left her. And I think her immature / impulsive behavior would've drove me nuts had we'd stayed together.

 

Now had we'd weathered the storm, she eventually would've matured and things may have worked out. We met a little too early in life. In the end losing her worked out for me and evidently her as well.

Edited November 6, 2019 by Piddy

[somanymistakes]

We were both still pining for each other, which of course led into a ridiculous pile of drama when we finally admitted it, since he'd gone and married someone else in the meanwhile.

 

When we broke up originally we were young and stupid and both going through a lot of psychological messes. Maybe we needed some time apart to grow up. But it would have been better for everyone if we'd gotten back together a little bit faster.

[alphamale]

If you had one, and most if not all of us have, do you even still think about him/her?

 

I dated four women in my 20s that would have been PERFECT for me. They were all chasing after me (not at the same time) and were college educated, attractive, slim and would have made good wives/mothers.

 

Like a fool I kept on blowing them off and "playing it cool" with my big ego and inexperienced ways.

 

One in particular would have been a perfect match for me. Cathy, she was a red head with smarts and a body that could kill. She kept on at it for a few years but soon went her own way.

 

I think about them on a regular basis.

[nospam99]

There were two. I think about each of them 'from time to time'. I wonder what my life would have been like (better? happier?) if either was interested enough that they thought I was 'a one' (I don't believe that 'there can be only ONE'. But I do believe in committing totally to 'a one' who wants to be in a relationship with me.). (Yes, Natalie is one of the two.)

[The Outlaw]

I dated four women in my 20s that would have been PERFECT for me. They were all chasing after me (not at the same time) and were college educated, attractive, slim and would have made good wives/mothers.

 

Like a fool I kept on blowing them off and "playing it cool" with my big ego and inexperienced ways.

 

One in particular would have been a perfect match for me. Cathy, she was a red head with smarts and a body that could kill. She kept on at it for a few years but soon went her own way.

 

I think about them on a regular basis.

 

I had one myself from a long time ago that I haven't ever forgotten and don't think I ever will. Kathryne. The one girl who literally had it all. Absolutely gorgeous. The kind of girl that guys would fawn over. The kind of girl that my parents hoped I'd end up and the one I'd married without hesitation if I could have. It's a long story, but I haven't seen her since mid April 2002. She's the one that got away that never was.

[Springsummer]

 

Like a fool I kept on blowing them off and "playing it cool" with my big ego and inexperienced ways.

 

One in particular would have been a perfect match for me. Cathy, she was a red head with smarts and a body that could kill. She kept on at it for a few years but soon went her own way.

 

I think about them on a regular basis.

 

So I am not the only fool on this planet?

Actually makes me feel better, because I didn't even really have comparable good match both qualitatively and quantitatively.

[alphamale]

no Ss, you are not the only fool on this planet

[E-Squared]

I often think about one who I gave a chance to and wasn't into, but it's more in the sense of "what could have been" if I was into her. I haven't spoken to her in 11 years.

[Happy Lemming]

I'm actually glad "the one that got away" left me. She broke off the engagement, dumped me and became some other guy's problem. Good luck to him!!

 

If she had not (left), we would have gotten married and I would have been miserable. I would have planted roots and settled into a risk-free boring life. My desires would have gone unfulfilled, my dreams would have been crushed and I'd still be working a crappy job in a crappy office.

 

Being single and free allowed me to be nomadic, invest in high-risk real estate, retire early and date a variety of women.

[chillii]

Not really , it turned out for the best, maybe even thankful when l saw her again years later.

[2.50 a gallon]

My 3 close friends and I shooting the bull, when we first saw her, and in unison the three of us muttered "Oh My God" at the new gal moving into our apartment complex. From thereafter amongst us she was known as "OMG" She was that beautiful. And as it turned out one of the nicest, sweetest gals we have ever met. A good church going elementary grade teacher who also worked with the disabled. All the local hot dogs were trying to date her, all got turned down. I was excepted as I was engaged. My sister brought over my younger nieces several times for a swim, and I guess my reactions with them some how empressed OMG. Quite often she would come out by the pool and it was some one else who noted how often she chose the chair closest to mine. We talked a lot, about kids, life, fishing, camping, etc, there was something there, but I was engaged.

We went on one date, her class was taking a field trip to the river where I fished all the time and she asked me if I would go along and show the kids some things like polly wogs. We and the kids had a great time.

Then she was moving and made a point to give me her new address and phone number and promise to keep in touch. As I said I was engaged

About 6 months later, my fiancé and I went to a college football game and while off getting drinks I ran into to OMG. A hug and some quick talk and she again gave me her new number and address, which I threw away as I was engaged.

The next day my fiancé broke it off forever, and I no longer had that address or phone number.

About a year later some photographer had an exhibition of his work at a mall, and the subject was her. As I said she was one of the most beautiful women I have ever met.

I later married and it broke up 6 month later, never had kids, and sometime wonder and if the powers that be, had brought OMG and I together and I blew my chance

Edited November 7, 2019 by 2.50 a gallon

[Michelle ma Belle]

I don't see any of my past relationships as "the one that got away" no matter how amazing it might have been for whatever time period.

 

There was a reason it ended regardless of who initiated and I trust in that.

 

I typically remain friends with ex's so I'm usually aware of what's going on in their lives already. There is no pining for them at all.

 

I've only had one painful / bad breakup where there has been NC for years. He's the only one where I sometimes catch myself wondering how's he's doing and what he's up to but that's about it. I would NEVER go back to him (or any ex) and I know my life is better without him in the end.

 

It's sheer curiosity than anything else.

[mark clemson]

... A hug and some quick talk and she again gave me her new number and address, which I threw away as I was engaged.

The next day my fiancé broke it off forever, and I no longer had that address or phone number.

 

Ouch.

 

 

10 char

[alphamale]

talk about putting salt in the wound 2.50

[Lotsgoingon]

Of course! ...

 

One of my "what ifs" is a woman I met in my 20s. There were outdoor summer and fall brunches with this woman followed by walks through this beautiful city neighborhood. She blew me away with stories and her smarts.

 

She was so sexy ... though a bit awkward, she was not a natural girly-girl. Being young and dumb, I got stuck on her awkwardness and became suspicious about the sexiness. I figured it was an illusion that would wear off. Ten years later, I saw her in person and we had a great chat. Immediately, I thought, her raw sexiness had been no illusion!

 

Funny, this woman's profession overlaps with mine ... and she's a star in her field (no surprise there!) ... So, it's been easy to follow her since her name is quite prominent in her field.

 

What haunted me for years: the memory of the phone call she made after I disappeared on her ... She left a message on my answering machine saying how much she missed our times together, asking what the heck had happened?

 

I can now answer that question: I was stupid!

 

Anyway, the truth is ... I would have messed up this relationships or the others I occasionally look back on. I was too immature to be a great partner. So that strangely gives me comfort. But man, I wish I had just gone a bit further.