Trying no contact

[Tbob1]

Here's my story....

My ex girlfriend and I dated nearly two years before our first major breakup. No full blown fights. Disagreements over living situation and her problems with her ex husband. We always worked through them. In Aug she decided she couldn't go through with the fact that I wanted to wait another 2 years until my youngest son could drive himself back and forth to school (we live in different cities about 40 minutes apart. We work in the cities we live In and our kids go to the school we each live in. Moving them to the same school isn't an option). This has always been an issue but she said she was willing to stick it out until then and we could find a house somewhere in the middle.

We spent weekends and at least 2 days a week together.

So the first breakup lasted a month, I did the usual pleading my case but no begging. We talked on and off and then I went no contact. Two days later she sent a message about things she needed from my house and how she hadn't heardich from me lately and wondered if I had moved on or found someone else. We made a date for her to get her things and she came over. The texting took off from there and we decided to go out on a date. From then on we started hanging out again,staying over when we didn't have our kids. Things weren't the same but I was trying.

 

Three weeks later we had an argument I told her how I was feeling things went bad and she ended up telling me she didn't feel the same, and was tired of making an effort to see each other with our busy lives. I only responded ok and went into no contact. It's been 6 weeks since we've talked or texted. We remained Facebook friends, but I unfollowed her. I still check her page, which I know is against no contact, but some days I just can't help it.

 

Anyway, my problem is she has commented on many of my posts (I'm not a big poster, maybe 1 a week) and liked/loved just as many. One of my posts was a quote I shared that would have meaning to our situation. I shared it the day after the breakup, she liked it three weeks later! Im struggling with what this means and if it's a way of her reaching out and whether or not I should contact her. I have liked 1 of her comments and liked a pic of her son, thinking this is a way to let her know im still interested.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

[Flame Aura]

I'm confused why exactly you broke up? Because she wanted you to live together and you wanted to wait 2 years? That's it? How old is your son?

[Tbob1]

Yes. That's her reasoning. He will be 14 in March

[d0nnivain]

I only responded ok and went into no contact. It's been 6 weeks since we've talked or texted. We remained Facebook friends, but I unfollowed her. I still check her page, which I know is against no contact, but some days I just can't help it.

 

Anyway, my problem is she has commented on many of my posts (I'm not a big poster, maybe 1 a week) and liked/loved just as many. One of my posts was a quote I shared that would have meaning to our situation. I shared it the day after the breakup, she liked it three weeks later! Im struggling with what this means and if it's a way of her reaching out and whether or not I should contact her. I have liked 1 of her comments and liked a pic of her son, thinking this is a way to let her know im still interested.

 

If you want to reconcile, you need to talk to each other & work through things. NC is about healing.

 

As you have already pointed out, staying connected on social media is not being NC. You need to block her because you have to will power to stay away.

[Glmoud]

Thanks for your answers everyone.

 

I encourage everyone reading to leave me his opinion and advice, I would really benefit to solve my situation and know what to do. Pls and Thx

[Tbob1]

She texted at 3:30 am. It has been 6 weeks to the day since we last spoke.

Her text was...what?? And then another a couple minutes later...is everything ok? Im assuming this wasnt to me??

I seen this when i woke for work at 5:30 am.

I responded, Hi, I'm not sure what you're talking about?

She sent me a screenshot where it looks like i sent her a text asking some random question, that i wouldn't have asked. That text "from" me was at 3:28 am. I was sleeping. Not sure whats going on?

[girlygo]

She sent me a screenshot where it looks like i sent her a text asking some random question, that i wouldn't have asked. That text "from" me was at 3:28 am. I was sleeping. Not sure whats going on?

 

You say it "looks like" you sent her a text. So did you send her the text or not? If you did not, then are you suspecting that she somehow sent the text herself, did a screenshot and then doctored the screenshot with your number or worse still, sent the text from another phone which she had with an alternative sim card with your name saved as that new sim card number? Because that would be seriously crazy...

[ExpatInItaly]

She sent me a screenshot where it looks like i sent her a text asking some random question, that i wouldn't have asked. That text "from" me was at 3:28 am. I was sleeping. Not sure whats going on?

 

I mean...can you not check your phone and verify whether a text was sent?

 

Does the screenshot have your name as the contact at the top of the screen?

[Tbob1]

Yes it was a screenshot of a text from me, yet it didn't show up in my texts.

This drove me crazy that whole day and night. Literally was wondering if i may have sent it and blocked it out of my mind.

 

So i started googling and found that that night there was some sort of third party maintenance glitch with 4 cell phone providers that sent 160,000 plus previously unsent texts to people. These texts were from Valentine's day. That text must have been one of them.

Crazy!

Edited November 11, 2019 by Tbob1

[Tbob1]

She texted again last night. It was about her dad wanting to sell me a vehicle i was interested in while we were dating. I'm not sure why she just didn't give him my number and let him call.

Should i use this as an opportunity for more communication?

[PegNosePete]

Look, if you want more communication then you should commuicate what you want.

 

But you've already done that, haven't you? You got back together and 3 weeks later she broke up again and told you she doesn't feel the same.

 

So I'm not sure what you're asking here? She doesn't feel the same as you do, she doesn't want to rekindle your relationship, she wants to move on but she wants you to keep in contact. She's told you exactly what she wants. Now what do YOU want? Are you happy with that arrangement? Can you be just friends with her? From what you've written it sure seems like the answer is NO, you can't handle being just friends with her because you still have feelings.