Do you check ID?

[Shining One]

I picked up a woman at a Halloween event and I didn't find out until the next day that she was only 20. I knew she was younger, just not that much younger. It dawned on me that I really should be more careful about this sort of thing. Clearly, I can't count on the venue to check age. She's too young to be drinking, but she was served drinks all night from multiple bars.

 

How do others go about this? Conventional wisdom says it's rude and potentially a turnoff to ask a woman her age.

[alphamale]

I can usually tell a woman's age within 5 to 10 years just by looking at her...if you stood a 17 yo by a 37 yo it would be pretty easy to tell

[Michelle ma Belle]

How old are you?

 

 

I never thought twice about this either until I was in a situation that could have been so much worse than it was - Met/slept with a younger man who ended up being MUCH younger than he originally presented himself to be. After that particular incident, I stopped dating anyone who was younger than 15 years than me just to be super safe.

 

Asking a man's age isn't as taboo as asking a woman's but these days when everyone looks so much older than they really are, it's better to error on the side of caution and run the risk of offending someone than find yourself in a boat load of trouble :/

[Shining One]

I'm 38. Before I found out her age, I would have guessed she was mid-twenties.

[alphamale]

I'm 38. Before I found out her age, I would have guessed she was mid-twenties.

 

did you shag her?

[Shining One]

Yes. I specifically went out on Halloween for the purpose of getting laid.

[d0nnivain]

Shining One

 

I used to do this thing where I'd start a conversation about how awful people generally look in driver's license & passport photos (or one time I got to brag because for once it was a decent picture lol). Inevitably it would lead to a comparison. . .the guy would voluntarily show me his DL so I could eye ball it. I was checking for home address, did it mesh with what he told me about where he lived but I'd look at the DOB.

 

It's a little more subtle then saying hey prove to me how old you are.

[major_merrick]

Never have I ever checked ID. Now that I'm in my 30's and settled, it isn't an issue. Back when I was crazy and free in my mid-20's, I didn't care. I would guess that in our sexist and litigious society, it is more important for men to be checking ID than women. Underage girls are assumed to be a victim and will sometimes complain later even if they wanted it at the time and lied about their age. Our society loves to prosecute men who get trapped by this. Underage boys will usually have a "SCORE!!!" attitude, and unless the woman is a teacher getting prosecuted is not very likely.

[Kitty Tantrum]

I check for gray hair and a broad ignorance of modern pop culture.

[somanymistakes]

Not an issue for me but it IS something worth worrying about. Some underage girls look way older than they are.

[snowboy91]

Absolutely not! Although to be fair, the drinking age in this country (and most others I travel to!) is 18. If someone I meet is younger than that it's pretty obvious by looks, and by differences in pop culture, fashion etc.

 

If they're above the age of consent, and your personality matches theirs really nicely, and they seem to act the age you think they are, I don't see much of a problem here.

 

Although I might think very differently in 10 years time...

[major_merrick]

Not an issue for me but it IS something worth worrying about. Some underage girls look way older than they are.

You're right that it is sometimes difficult to tell. I was a girl who looked WAY older than my age. Even my sister was slipping into bars with fake ID's when she was 15. Seeing someone drinking in a bar and evaluating their looks might not always be accurate.