Do you think the dating world is different for people in there 45-50 +

[Vanity1]

Being a millennial in this dating world isn’t fun.

 

I’m curious to know if people in there 40-50s have a better time.

I feel like amazing men with morals are in there 80s or dead.

 

 

Has anyone on the younger side tried dating someone who is 20 years older?

Are the men different?

[Piddy]

I'm a baby boomer (1955). I don't believe it's gender specific on morals. My dating days were back in the 1970's, so my opinions might be a little antiquated. My experience back then was there were guys / girls who liked indiscriminate sex and guys / girls who liked relationship sex.

 

I always like relationship sex because I was shy and although I did have a few casual sex encounters I liked it better if I had a connection or had feelings for the girl and hoped to work towards a relationship.

 

Not sure it's generational regarding morals. Depends how your wired. I have a theory that extroverts are more of the casual sex type and introverts are more of the relationship sex types.

 

No scientific evidence except that extroverts thrive on meeting new people and get bored easily and introverts find it exhausting meeting new people and find in more comforting in a relationship. Take that for what it's worth.

 

Also, my experience is extroverts cheat more than introverts. Only because extroverts tend to enjoy meeting new people and find it easy to flirt. Where introverts (again) won't get as much opportunity to cheat because quiet people don't flirt nearly as much, and again find it exhausting interacting with a lot of people.

 

I could be all wet, but that's my take.

Edited November 8, 2019 by Piddy

[d0nnivain]

Dating a generation older is asking for trouble. What do you have in common? Older or younger, OK but not 20 years.

 

I joke all the time that I found the last unicorn: a straight, mentally healthy, never been married, no kids, handsome, emotionally available, dependable man over 35. 13 years ago when I met him that is exactly who my husband was.

 

We do have our issues / challenges.

 

However, there are good guys out there. You have to be patient to find one but you also have to be accepting. I think some women are just unreasonable or ridiculous.

 

I have had women complain that men don't open doors for them. Men open doors for me all the time, including some of the guys that the women in Q were complaining about. If you want the door opened for you, you have to hesitate to give the poor guy the chance to grab it before you get there. If you dash past him, he's not going to start a foot race.

 

I had a GF complain that her BF never paid the check when they went out to eat. So I went out with them. After the meal was finished he excused himself to the men's room. The check came. She grumbled & picked it up to pay it. I asked if this always happened. She said yes. I asked if she ever let the check stay unpaid on the table until he got back from the bathroom. She said no. I convinced her to leave it there to see what would happen. he came back & was so thrilled that it was there. He actually asked why she never left the check before so he could pay. My point: you have to give the guy a chance.

 

if you call or text a guy constantly without giving him a chance to breathe or contact you, in that relationship you will always be the initiator because you don't sit still long enough to let him come to you.

 

Be more patient & you will see better results.

[chillii]

l really couldn't see how dating as people call it could possible be fun, sounds like a nightmare l really don't understand them putting themselves through it for nobodies .

l'm 50s never really dated as such. l'd bide time until someone special popped up.

Same after marriage , wasn't interested in anyone l knew or met so no use dating them as such until one day gf popped up and that was just a no brainer.

 

Sadly we couldn't work some things out and later on l went on a date site briefly , met a few nice women but no dating as such no point and again l just waited , eventually my partner now came along.

To my mind, don't waste your time, wait for someone special and when that happens it's usually a no brainer to you both,

Edited November 8, 2019 by chillii

[somanymistakes]

The 'dating world' sucks for everyone.

 

When you're out there fishing for random people and hoping they'll make a great partner for you, you could pull in ANYTHING. An old boot. A jar full of needles.

 

When you go to hookup events or dating sites, a certain kind of aggressive person may tend to dominate because they have the personality to shove themselves in everyone's faces looking for a date. That doesn't mean all people are like that! But they get in the way and make it harder to see what else is there.

 

If you're looking for a stoic, dependable man who's good with his hands and would rather be at home working on a project than out at a bar drinking... you're not going to find him at dating events!

[nospam99]

If you're looking for a stoic, dependable man who's good with his hands and would rather be at home working on a project than out at a bar drinking... you're not going to find him at dating events!

 

Disagree! I am a 'stoic, dependable man who's good with his hands and would rather be at home working on a project than out at a bar'. And I attended two 'dating events' (speed dating) in the last six months. However after going oh-fer at both events, I'm likely to stay at home and work on a project next time. It's a numbers game. But when whatever the event is has no benefit, there is less incentive to try that type of event again.

[SumGuy]

It's different than in my 20s, if nothing else because in my 20s there was no internet. A lot easier to meet women in person when young (more a function of lifestyle), although OLD at 50 is far, far easier than dating in my 20s. I think I also just got really lucky in my 20s.

[Vanity1]

The 'dating world' sucks for everyone.

 

When you're out there fishing for random people and hoping they'll make a great partner for you, you could pull in ANYTHING. An old boot. A jar full of needles.

 

When you go to hookup events or dating sites, a certain kind of aggressive person may tend to dominate because they have the personality to shove themselves in everyone's faces looking for a date. That doesn't mean all people are like that! But they get in the way and make it harder to see what else is there.

 

If you're looking for a stoic, dependable man who's good with his hands and would rather be at home working on a project than out at a bar drinking... you're not going to find him at dating events!

 

I don’t do dating sites or dating events, Facebook or social media. Everyone I meet is through someone I know, or school.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I was 41 when I jumped back into the dating pool after being married for 20 years.

 

Dating was profoundly different when I was younger and single albeit there was no such things as OLD or cell phones or the internet. That may be part of the problem.

 

I had no idea what I was getting myself into and I certainly had no clue just how challenging and different dating would be this time around.

 

I think the biggest challenge I've encountered is that many men my age aren't looking for women their age. Most have been married, miserable, sex starved and now looking for something casual, fun and young.

 

I mean, I don't really blame them but it's been one of the most eye-opening realizations to this day.

 

I'm now 50, about to turn 51 in a couple of months. Society in general isn't very kind to women, never mind older women. Online dating is no better. In fact, it's worse.

 

I quickly realized I had to check any expectations and assumptions I had and explore other options. The pool of men my age may have been very shallow but the pool of younger men interested was deep as the ocean. That's when I decided, "If men can date younger, why can't I?" And so I did and have for a very long time.

 

Dating huge age gaps comes with it's own pros and cons so one must go into it with that kind of understanding and navigate accordingly.

 

So yes, dating in your 40-50's is infinitely different than dating in your 20-30s, at least when it comes to women.

[preraph]

If you want doors opened for you, move to Texas. Here, both men and women open doors for whoever is behind them when their hands aren't full.

[The Outlaw]

The dating world, IMO, isn't fun as a whole at any age. Stay away from OLD and try putting yourself into a social setting with a number of people with common interests if you feel it will increase your chances.

[carhill]

Not bad, no reproductive imperative, life has thrown a lot of stuff at the wall, whatever happens happens. Take it or leave it. An urban demographic of the same age group might be completely different.

 

It certainly was different in the 70's and 80's as a young man. Kinda comical looking back on it.

[chillii]

l mean she's different out there that's for sure, Back in the day l met while living, and really there was no bs you read and hear now. Girls were just girls, down to earth , head usually screwed on, the good ones anyway, fresh and full of enthusiasm.And things were so much simpler.

Now there's not only the insanity of the internet age and all the media out there messing with people , there's also age and so much life behind us life , so much has happened, people are different, and so many messed up from it all.

 

Here thankfully though , mostly , for the sort of person l go for anyway , she will just naturally still have her head screwed on and still be down to earth and still be basically on the same page l am and be from roughly the same times back when.

l go for very special and in that way l've found we're basically still the same as we use to be. Careful and cautious from life and marriage gone bad , but we're basically still in there.

l saw the rest of it though , just didn't touch any of it.

Look for somebody that still thinks and feels the way you do about things and that really helps. Not everyone has been swept away and brain fkd by all the bs out there now.

Edited November 8, 2019 by chillii

[Vanity1]

If you want doors opened for you, move to Texas. Here, both men and women open doors for whoever is behind them when their hands aren't full.

 

I’m not handicapped, I have two working arms I can open my own doors.

I live in Canada, we also open doors for one another. Male or female. That’s basic mannners.

 

I find it comical that people would assume when i ask about people who are older in the dating world that they think I must mean opening the doors for me. No, I don’t mean being spoiled and the man has to pay for everything.

[RecentChange]

I don't think the OP is some much asking what it is like to date when you are 50 years old.

 

But is inferring that men under 45 are lacking the qualities that she is looking for in a man.

 

I don't know about that. I am on the cusp, I am 41 and my husband is 39. We have many friends in the late 20's to mid 30's range (millennials).

 

From my experience there are good guys in that age range. I know a few who I would consider quality catches, although I will admit many are in some sort of relationship at this point.

 

I think a fairly universal truth is the older you get, the harder it is to find a quality spouse. The good ones get snapped up - the ones that remain single - it's usually for a reason, and the ones that find themselves single again often have complications of already established lives, kids, exes etc.

 

I think social circles make a big difference as well - your opportunities to meet "quality" men will be correlated to who you regularly interact with.

[Vanity1]

....I think a fairly universal truth is the older you get, the harder it is to find a quality spouse. The good ones get snapped up - the ones that remain single - it's usually for a reason, and the ones that find themselves single again often have complications of already established lives, kids, exes etc.

 

I think social circles make a big difference as well - your opportunities to meet "quality" men will be correlated to who you regularly interact with.

 

Around me all the late millennials aren’t getting married. Their just living together. And the ones who ended up getting married in their early 30s. Only ended up staying married for two years and then divorcing.

 

Everyone wants to just play house but not really.

Even I can admit, maybe there’s too much fish in the sea. Too much world to live to be tied down. I just never found a guy who is worth anything, they play too much or too scared and shy. Now I’m just wondering what’s it like with the older generations.

Edited November 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[some_username1]

Being a millennial in this dating world isn’t fun.

 

I’m curious to know if people in there 40-50s have a better time.

I feel like amazing men with morals are in there 80s or dead.

 

 

Has anyone on the younger side tried dating someone who is 20 years older?

Are the men different?

 

We’re out there! I take my time getting to know women and don’t pressure them for sex yet I’ve been ghosted because of this.

 

So the problem is I could say the same about most women to be honest- they all say they want a gentleman but the truth is they don’t know how to behave with any class when they meet one.

 

Then of course there are quite a few women I see on OLD who say “Where are all the good guys” (or some variant) in their profile who I find attractive and would love to match with and maybe challenge their expectations….but they never swipe right on me- presumably they swipe right on douchebags because they are still on there with that same profile text when I re-open my account months later. Go figure.

 

Oh well, that’s life- the people who would give us the respect we crave are probably the people we aren’t interested in, so we’re forever fated to lament our outcomes when we aren’t doing enough ourselves to change our approach to the problem of finding people with compatible values.

[RecentChange]

Around me all the late mellienals aren’t getting married. Their just living together. And the ones who ended up getting married in their early 30s. Only ended up staying married for two years and then divorcing.

 

Everyone wants to just play house but not really.

Even I can admit, maybe there’s too much fish in the sea. Too much world to live to be tied down. I just never found a guy who is worth anything, they play too much or too scared and shy. Now I’m just wondering what’s it like with the older generations.

 

Yeah again, perhaps it depends on social circles.

 

There is a LOT of "playing house" and not getting married, or waiting a long time to get married among my friends - but the divorces are few.

 

My husband and I lived together for 14 years before getting married... And just celebrated 19 years together.

 

My sister in law and her guy aren't married, but have been together for over 6 years and own a home jointly.

 

I often think I must be in some sort of bubble. My siblings and myself all have very long lasting relationships / marriages (over 20 years).

 

My 4 best friends from college are married to men they met on college or soon after.

 

Our social group includes a number of couples that have been together for 5-15 years happily unmarried.

 

As for older generations... Let's see, my mom was married and divorced 5 times. Dad was divorced 2, married 3 (the last one stuck). Most of my friends had divorced parents.... The boomers had a huge divorce rate.

 

Perhaps Gen X is better at committing but I don't know that I would count on that - and any single Gen X'ers have either been life long bachelors (for a reason) or have failed marriages under their belts.

 

I don't think "older" is any nirvana.

 

Edited to add... A quick search says that Gen X has one of the lowest divorce rates (I am right around the Gen X cut off) - the catch? Those lasting relationships started in the early 2000's.

 

I stick to my comment that available Gen X's are going to come with more baggage

Edited November 9, 2019 by RecentChange

[Vanity1]

Dating a generation older is asking for trouble. What do you have in common? Older or younger, OK but not 20 years.....

 

So you’re telling me people in their 50s and a person in their 30s can’t have things in common? You don’t think it’s possible for a younger person and an older person who enjoy ice skating, watching movies, vacationing to exotic places cant have those same things in common?? I think it’s very possible.

Edited November 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Vanity1]

We’re out there! I take my time getting to know women and don’t pressure them for sex yet I’ve been ghosted because of this.....

 

Women have egos too. You don’t make that sex move, some of will take it as you think there’s something wrong with us physically. Because we are so use to guys being so straight forward go getters we don’t even see what’s right anymore.

 

Or, that girl just really wanted you for sex, and that’s all.

Edited November 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[basil67]

So you’re telling me people in their 50s and a person in their 30s can’t have things in common? You don’t think it’s possible for a younger person and an older person who enjoy ice skating, watching movies, vacationing to exotic places cant have those same things in common?? I think it’s very possible.

 

Yes, they can certainly have those things in common. But those things aren't the things which cement a relationship. A solid relationship comes from emotional connection. As a 50 something, I can imagine having great fun with a younger person and then realising we are on completely different wavelengths emotionally.

[Vanity1]

 

As for older generations... Let's see, my mom was married and divorced 5 times. Dad was divorced 2, married 3 (the last one stuck). Most of my friends had divorced parents.... The boomers had a huge divorce rate.

 

Perhaps Gen X is better at committing but I don't know that I would count on that - and any single Gen X'ers have either been life long bachelors (for a reason) or have failed marriages under their belts. I don't think "older" is any nirvana.

 

My parents have been married for over 30 years. Same with my aunts and uncles. They are boomers generation. They stay with each other for religious reasons. Their kids, My cousins who got married in 2000s are miserable and cheating on each other. But it’s cheaper to keep her. Those generations stay for the kids.

 

Are millennials the smarter generation?

Edited November 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Vanity1]

Yes, they can certainly have those things in common. But those things aren't the things which cement a relationship. A solid relationship comes from emotional connection. As a 50 something, I can imagine having great fun with a younger person and then realising we are on completely different wavelengths emotionally.

 

Emotional wavelengths in which ways?

It doesn’t matter your age but what you’ve been through in those years, it’s what you’ve experience. Just because someone is younger doesn’t mean they aren’t emotionally mature.

[some_username1]

Women have egos too. You don’t make that sex move, some of will take it as you think there’s something wrong with us physically. Because we are so use to guys being so straight forward go getters we don’t even see what’s right anymore.

 

Or, that girl just really wanted you for sex, and that’s all.

 

Who knows, pointless wasting brain cells over it. All I do know for sure is that, in my experience at least, when women complain about guys who don’t treat them with respect, have poor morals etc there are two sides to every story and she is most likely self sabotaging in some way (being ruled by your ego is the apotheosis of self sabotaging) or making poor choices that are leading to the outcome where she thinks all men are bastards or whatever, “where have all the good men goooooone?!” Etc.

[basil67]

Sure, I can have a great mature conversation with a 30yo. I could likely have really hot sex with one. Doesn't mean I'd want a relationship with one.