Do you think the dating world is different for people in there 45-50 +

[basil67]

I find it comical that people would assume when i ask about people who are older in the dating world that they think I must mean opening the doors for me. No, I don’t mean being spoiled and the man has to pay for everything.

 

What exactly do you mean? Can you describe what you're looking for without using broad terms which are open to misinterpretation?

Edited November 9, 2019 by basil67

[Vanity1]

Who knows, pointless wasting brain cells over it. All I do know for sure is that, in my experience at least, when women complain about guys who don’t treat them with respect, have poor morals etc there are two sides to every story.....

 

Uh. I tried dating a good guy and he literally didn’t know what to do with me. I put myself out there for the taking ( not in a sexual manner) I made it so easy for him, made the first move after I was told ( and shown in text messages he was sending to someone) that he really really liked me. You guys don’t put in enough effort. When you don’t make moves we just don’t know what to think? With players at least they give you the games to go off on. My experience with decent guys is, you guys are too laid back, don’t put in enough effort, give up to easily.

 

I still can’t figure out whose more complicated... decent guys or players.

Edited November 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Vanity1]

Sure, I can have a great mature conversation with a 30yo. I could likely have really hot sex with one. Doesn't mean I'd want a relationship with one.

 

If you can have great sex with a 30year old, a great convo, fun times, and if you connect emotionally you’d give that all up just because of age? I don’t understand.

[Happy Lemming]

I'm 54 (male), been dating since I was 15-16 years old (never married).

 

OLD didn't work for me (at all). I did try it and found it to be crap (for me). I went back to meeting women in "real life". I've had a BLAST dating & meeting new women. No complaints here.

 

As far as age, when I was under 35 I tried to date around my age (+/- 3-5 years) after 35 I increased my age range to (+/- 10 years).

 

I was nomadic in my youth, so I didn't really have any relationships last over 2 years, as I moved around A LOT. I don't think I was a player... just a nomadic rodent.

 

Edited to add... I have been dating my long term girlfriend for almost 8 years. I have early retired and think I may stay put and plant roots, but I could change my mind.

Edited November 9, 2019 by Happy Lemming

[basil67]

If you can have great sex with a 30year old, a great convo, fun times, and if you connect emotionally you’d give that all up just because of age? I don’t understand.

 

You don't understand because you didn't read what I wrote. I said "I can imagine having great fun with a younger person and then realising we are on completely different wavelengths emotionally". You're confusing the issue for yourself by thinking that we could connect in the first place.

 

I've known plenty of great workmates who are 20 years my junior. I can have a decent conversation with them and have fun out drinking. There was one of them which I would have given anything to have sex with (as long as they didn't speak). But connect emotionally? No way. They are fun, but for emotional connection, I need someone my own age. In short, I wouldn't bother.

 

You mentioned in your first post that you think that all the men who know how to behave well must be 80 or dead (paraphrasing). So, I've been reading a book based on coroner's reports from the 1870's and the current chapter is dealing with horrendously high death rates from desperate young women who've attempted abortion or committed infanticide. To try and fix this, the government was thinking of arresting men who'd made promises to young women and then left them pregnant. Men who trick women are nothing new, it's been around since forever. Instead of grumbling about the nice guys who don't sweep you off your feet, share in the establishing of the relationship with him. Or make a first move - it won't kill you. And you may even find a really good partner.

[Piddy]

I think it's much easier these days to find a compatible partner to date. In my day you went to a bar / club and it was a random crap shoot who you might meet.

 

Nowadays with all these dating sites you can narrow it down to things you like in the opposite sex.

 

It always cracked me me up when people would describe what they liked in the opposite sex. Very generic things like good sense of humor, likes to take long walks on the beach, look at sunsets etc..

 

If I were on these dating sites I'd narrow it down to what appealed to me. It might go something like this. Age range, height range, body type, hair color etc. Personality type (more introverted than extroverted), education level, need to like cats.

 

Must be politically aware and be either a Democrat or Independent, moderate to liberal / progressive (no idiotic Republicans / Fox News watching right wing whack jobs).

 

No drugs, non smoker, social drinker. Plays golf or likes to watch golf or at least doesn't mind me playing / watching lots of golf. Must be relationship oriented, no casual sex types.

 

That would be a start and narrow it down somewhat.

Edited November 9, 2019 by Piddy

[pepperbird]

I'm in the age group you asked about, and I never really did the dating thing either all that much. It just wasn't for me. Some people love it, meeting new people and all, but I just never did.

 

I don't know if age has anything to do with morals, fidelity, that sort of thing. It could be that, when you're young, you're trying out a lot of things, getting to know yourself. Some young people are already there, and know what they are looking for, and some older people are still looking.

 

 

 

the only advice I can give to you is to decide what you feel are "non negotiables" in a guy and what you can kind of put up with. I do think you'd find that there will be just as many older guys who aren't great dating material as you do with the younger ones.

[chillii]

Uh. I tried dating a good guy and he literally didn’t know what to do with me. I put myself out there for the taking ( not in a sexual manner) I made it so easy for him, made the first move after I was told ( and shown in text messages he was sending to someone) that he really really liked me. You guys don’t put in enough effort. When you don’t make moves we just don’t know what to think? With players at least they give you the games to go off on. My experience with decent guys is, you guys are too laid back, don’t put in enough effort, give up to easily.

 

I still can’t figure out whose more complicated... decent guys or players.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wouldn't have made any difference , either way they obviously just didn't see a future in it for whatever reason.

Some people like to take their time, you think their doing nothing , but they're soaking it in and sussing all the angles out, you , them, all of it.

So then you think they just didn't do this or that , but meanwhile they've just decided it's not for them . They can still like you but just not seeing much of a future in it so it stops there.

Known plenty of women over the years l've liked a lot but still realize she just wasn't for me in more, sooo, never took it further.

Edited November 9, 2019 by chillii

[Vanity1]

Wouldn't have made any difference , either way they obviously just didn't see a future in it for whatever reason.

Some people like to take their time, you think their doing nothing , but they're soaking it in and sussing all the angles out, you , them, all of it.

So then you think they just didn't do this or that , but meanwhile they've just decided it's not for them . They can still like you but just not seeing much of a future in it so it stops there.

Known plenty of women over the years l've liked a lot but still realize she just wasn't for me in more, sooo, never took it further.

 

Are you talking my situation with that dude? If so...

you didn’t sit down with this dude to know as a matter of factly that that’s what he was thinking. But my cousin did, and I saw with my own eyes, that it’s not that he didn’t see a future, he had his own issues. You don’t know enough of about the situation to have an opinion about it with all due respect.

[chillii]

Htf would l know anything about your situation.

Just talking in general which l've seen many times.