LinRP Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 My boyfriend broke up with me last night unexpectedly. He sent me a text as I was leaving work that he doesn’t think we are going to work out. I didn’t see this coming. I really thought things were going well as we constantly talked about a future together. I don’t understand what I did to make him lose interest or have a change of heart. I’m so broken. I really thought we had something special and that he was the one. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 I'm so sorry. I guess he had good intentions and eventually just realized it wasn't quite right for him or that he wasn't ready. How old are you both? Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 I am so sorry my friend. Take all the time to you need to process what has happened. The pain of heartbreak is the worst. Sending love and hugs my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
spiritedaway2003 Posted November 9, 2019 Share Posted November 9, 2019 I'm so sorry dear. How long were you two together? I just don't get it. Breaking up via text when you're with someone for a while just seems so cruel to me. It's going to take time to process. Be kind to yourself. (Hugs) Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 My boyfriend broke up with me last night unexpectedly. He sent me a text as I was leaving work that he doesn’t think we are going to work out. I didn’t see this coming. I really thought things were going well as we constantly talked about a future together. I don’t understand what I did to make him lose interest or have a change of heart. I’m so broken. I really thought we had something special and that he was the one. I'm also so sorry, Lin. I can sense from your post the hurt you're going through. You thought things were going well and didn't even see this coming. I hardly know what to write to you except I just want to be part of those who are supporting you. Hugs, dear Lin. Link to post Share on other sites
Supernova11 Posted November 10, 2019 Share Posted November 10, 2019 I’m so sorry to hear this. If it helps, I once had a boyfriend who was supposedly crazy about me. I had met his parents a lot and everything was going really well. I’d left work to go Christmas shopping and was looking at Christmas jumpers all happy when I got a text “I think we need to talk about us, I don’t think I can do a relationship right now”. To his credit, he wanted to talk not finish it over text, but even so, I knew when I got that text in the shop, surrounded by everyone being so happy and full of Christmas cheer, that it was over. When we did talk (in person) I never got a proper answer as to why he wanted to finish things. If it helps, he told me I was the best thing that had ever been in his life and always would be... So my response to you is that it does happen, people get broken up with and never see it coming sometimes. I would also say that if he broke up with you over text alone, you deserve someone who shows people more respect than that. I would say that his response in that way shows that you are actually better off without him. I know that sounds harsh and you want him, but it’s the truth. And the last thing I would say is don’t let this stop you from getting to know someone new. I know you don’t want anyone else right now, and that’s fine, but sometimes you can think you know someone, and you simply don’t, it’s not your fault. But there are people who genuinely open up and mean what they say. Just always make sure you are looking after yourself as well as investing in someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 I'm so sorry, this kind of unexpected heartbreak is so painful. If it is any help, you will probably feel awful for a week or two, then miserable for a month or two, then the clouds will start to clear. I know it sounds a long time but during that time you can rebuild your self-esteem. It could be that he thought it wouldn't work out and finally said so. Or it could be he met someone else. It could just as easily have been the other way round, with you deciding he wasn't the one for you. I know that is no consolation. Some things for you to remember: You did not do anything wrong; you were genuine and honest in your love, that is something to respect He wasn't the person you thought he was, for whatever reason Do not try to explain it all. It will just drive you crazy trying to make sense of this. Some things are emotional; they do not make sense. As I see it, some dates stick and some don't, a bit like molecules. It seems fairly random but it is nature's way. If nature for some reason meant he wasn't for you, wandered on his way, then nature is just as capable of drawing the right person to you. Try not to take it personally; the right chemistry just needs to happen for two of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted November 11, 2019 Share Posted November 11, 2019 Hey OP, I'm so sorry for your pain. To be totally blind sided by something is terrible. And , if he did it over text, makes it 10x worse. Not sure how long you were dating. But even at just 6 months someone deserves to be told to their face. My most recent ex did it via IM and text after close to two years. Furthermore, as others have said, doing it this way shows you two things about him that you should be glad to rejoice in avoiding, though you found out through pain. First, he doesn't have the courage or respect to end things face to face. That says a lot about someone. Second, to be blind sided completely speaks of his inability to either process his emotions, to know what he really wants out of life, and/or to speak his mind and be in touch with his emotions in the present. Now, if you're both mid to early 20's - that's one thing. Not good, but a little bit more understandable (though he should be kind enough and mature enough to do it face to face). If you're mid to late 20's or older and he's had at least 1 to 2 decent length relationships (6 months or more) before you, then he may be emotionally immature or out of touch with his emotions. As others have told you - you cannot blame yourself. Don't let your mind spiral and don't focus on the "what ifs". To find love - real love - you need to be vulnerable. ANd to be vulnerable is to risk. In this case you got hurt. But there's never a downside in the long run to being vulnerable - eventually - you will find the one you were meant to be with and those who use/abuse you - they will get their's - trust me. 10 things never to apologize or feel sorry for yourself: 10. Loving someone - that takes risk, vulnerability, and a heart 9. - Saying no. Like if this loser comes back. No second chances in love when they're this disrespectful 8 - Following your dreams 7 - Taking "me" time: do some things to help you heal yourself and move on from this captain loser! 6 - Making you a priority - don't rush back into a relationship. Do some work on you, travel, spend time with family and friends, etc. 5 - Ending a toxic relationship. In this case he did it, but if you allow yourself to feel and to work through the pain, you'll clear your system eventually 4 - Your imperfections. Everyone is imperfect. Know yours, accept them, share them, and one day someone will love you for them 3 - Standing your ground. 2 - Delaying responses. In this case, if he reaches out don't immediately respond. If you chose to respond then make sure you're doing it for the right reasons 1 - Telling the truth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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