If A Guy Doesn't Like a Girl Early On

[MeadowFlower]

In general, if a guy isn't interested in a girl from early on, then he isn't likely to be ever interested? Right or not?

Of course there are times when it can take time.

[amaysngrace]

Some people grow on you.

 

I’m not sure what you say is true.

[chillii]

For me nah , it wouldn't change or develop into more.

[MeadowFlower]

Well there ya go

[thefooloftheyear]

I could imagine a scenario where a woman you started dating but wasn't all that crazy about would all of a sudden "whip herself into shape", lose weight, etc...

 

yeah, I could see that.....Unfortunately its usually the opposite that happens...

 

TFY

[mark clemson]

Depends on a lot of things: the specific guy, the specific girl, the situation, etc. If he's not into her because he's hung up on an Ex and then she moves out of town, then sure.

 

Another situation, she might be just "ok" so he's not that interested at first, but then they talk a while/develop friendship and her personality meshes well with his and so then it can become more.

 

There are all kinds of men with all kinds of tastes, approaches, specific situations they are in, etc, so no one answer IMO.

[Ruby Slippers]

That's true. Men are generally attracted to looks first. So unless she undergoes a fairly major transformation in physique and/or style, his initial impression won't change.

 

(Despite what some men think and say, women are just as observant of looks, but due to biology are more concerned about resource provision, so more "forgiving" of looks when considering a partner for more than something short term.)

[lavenderandvelvet]

In general, if a guy isn't interested in a girl from early on, then he isn't likely to be ever interested? Right or not?

Of course there are times when it can take time.

 

I think for men there has to be a base attraction, and the attraction can grow with exposure.

 

I also think most men have a secret x-factor. And whenever they find it, it is like boom attraction. But it may not show up in a quick interaction.

[Happy Lemming]

I can remember one first date that didn't go all that great and I was thinking I probably won't go out with her again.

 

But when I took her home, she invited me in "for coffee", and we had sex. It was fantastic. So I continued to see her and she did (in fact) "grow on me". We actually dated for a while.

[Foxhall]

Yes this is probably true, a guy needs to feel some attraction from the outset

 

A girl though can change her mind, she can dismiss a guy out of hand he's not good enough looking or whatever but you never know that can change if she is unable to find anyone better.

[Vanity1]

In general, if a guy isn't interested in a girl from early on, then he isn't likely to be ever interested? Right or not?

Of course there are times when it can take time.

 

I think it’s a safer bet when he or she doesn’t like you early on. That means they aren’t in a rush, or infatuated with how you look. They’ve gotten to know you in and out and like you for you.

[Vanity1]

That's true. Men are generally attracted to looks first. So unless she undergoes a fairly major transformation in physique and/or style, his initial impression won't change.

 

(Despite what some men think and say, women are just as observant of looks, but due to biology are more concerned about resource provision, so more "forgiving" of looks when considering a partner for more than something short term.)

 

 

Disagree. Looks won’t keep a man. I think it’s better when he isn’t automatically interested in how you look. But likes you as he gets to know you, sometimes a person attitude, how they conduct themselves makes a person sexy after a while.

[thefooloftheyear]

Women do grow on you ….

 

Like from a size 4 to a size 14 in no time.

 

TFY

[Vanity1]

Women do grow on you ….

 

Like from a size 4 to a size 14 in no time.

 

TFY

 

 

A hee hee hee.

 

No.

 

 

[thefooloftheyear]

Disagree. Looks won’t keep a man. I think it’s better when he isn’t automatically interested in how you look. But likes you as he gets to know you, sometimes a person attitude, how they conduct themselves makes a person sexy after a while.

 

Sounds good in theory and makes for a great movie story, but this is really not good advice, IMO...

 

If he's not automatically interested in how you look, it really wont matter what happens after that...In fact most relationships start off with heavy attraction/passion/sex, then kind of fade a bit...If you don't have much to start with in that department, it will pretty much fade to nothing...

 

More often than not if what you are saying happens, she'll will wind up with a good buddy while he is jerking himself off and she is starting threads on here about why her man wont have sex with her...

 

TFY

[Vanity1]

Sounds good in theory and makes for a great movie story, but this is really not good advice, IMO...

 

If he's not automatically interested in how you look, it really wont matter what happens after that...In fact most relationships start off with heavy attraction/passion/sex, then kind of fade a bit...If you don't have much to start with in that department, it will pretty much fade to nothing...

 

More often than not if what you are saying happens, she'll will wind up with a good buddy while he is jerking himself off and she is starting threads on here about why her man wont have sex with her...

 

TFY

 

I’m not saying that the girl has to be majorly lacking in the looks department. She just doesn’t turn heads at first sight. Guys will lose interest if all you have is looks too. I’ve seen guys cheat on their beautiful girl for a mediocre one. And leave her for them.

[MeadowFlower]

Are guys not capable of falling for someone as a whole. For example, a guy meets a girl who he doesn't find attractive physically, but after getting to know her and becoming close friends with her; falls in love with her.

[Happy Lemming]

For example, a guy meets a girl who he doesn't find attractive physically, but after getting to know her and becoming close friends with her; falls in love with her.

 

I can only speak for myself. Yes, it is possible, but rare.

 

Also, there is that little voice in his head that will keep nagging at him that he can do better.

 

Another story, I was dating this woman and things were just OK. We went out with another couple for dinner (a friend of mine and his wife). My friend made a comment (the next day) about my girlfriend having "fat toes" (she had been wearing open toe shoes that night). This woman was a bit large, and I thought I had gotten past it, but when my buddy made the "fat toes" comment that stupid little voice in my head kept telling me that I could do better. Things were just never the same after that. My buddy's comment wasn't the exact downfall of the relationship, but it was a contributing factor.

[mark clemson]

Are guys not capable of falling for someone as a whole...

 

 

Yes, its possible. I'm not overly fussy in the looks dept vs the person as a whole so it may be easier for me than for some men.

 

But generally with men it's certainly possible.

 

There is probably a matter of degree of bad looks that factors in as well. This might be somewhat akin in women to a self supporting man with a modest income is acceptable, but a broke guy living in his parent's basement is right out.

[thefooloftheyear]

Id say that one of the most dicey things a person can do is select someone they arent generally physically attracted to in hopes they will "grow on you"...While people like to condemn it as having shallow tendencies, its a risky proposal,. if you have any hopes of the relationship being intimate, etc...And really...do you want a partner that you are "meh" about when they come to see you, or do you want to say "damn!".when they are walking your way..??

 

I put it in the same category of those that like to say "opposites attract"....For magnets, sure they do....With people, you are hoping that you see their way and they see yours and you "complement" each other....In reality though, all that happens is that the two people just never see eye to eye on practically anything and all it does is result in a lot of resentment and bitterness..

 

So, could the scenario the OP is stating happen? Sure...I just don't think its wise to hope that it will...It usually doesn't...Or in the worst case scenario, you wind up being used ..

 

TFY

[Vanity1]

Id say that one of the most dicey things a person can do is select someone they arent generally physically attracted to in hopes they will "grow on you"...While people like to condemn it as having shallow tendencies, its a risky proposal,. if you have any hopes of the relationship being intimate, etc...And really...do you want a partner that you are "meh" about when they come to see you, or do you want to say "damn!".when they are walking your way..??

 

I put it in the same category of those that like to say "opposites attract"....For magnets, sure they do....With people, you are hoping that you see their way and they see yours and you "complement" each other....In reality though, all that happens is that the two people just never see eye to eye on practically anything and all it does is result in a lot of resentment and bitterness..

 

So, could the scenario the OP is stating happen? Sure...I just don't think its wise to hope that it will...It usually doesn't...Or in the worst case scenario, you wind up being used ..

 

TFY

 

You don’t intentionally seek out someone whose not attractive in hopes that they grow on you.... it just happens.

 

That’s the best.

[preraph]

I had my best luck with men from working with them in a casual work environment. I do think some guys fall for the woman they keep getting exposed to. Yes, there has to be some attraction, but I don't think you have to be their type or what they normally go for. I have had lots of interest from guys I worked with or had some sort of repeating exposure to. I did grow on them. I was striking looking, but I was flat chested and no waist to speak of, pretty face but big nose, not anyone's dream girl. Once I found my niche, I grew on guys because I had other things going for me and was interesting. (not modest, obviously)

[SumGuy]

for me, if I connect with a woman intellectually that is more than half of it. If she is my friend and comrade that is even more. If we are great in bed together then it is perfection.

 

I've a wide range of physical looks I find attractive, and a person I am into looks more beautiful to me than if I was not and don't give two Fs what the world thinks. Yes I have a ballpark someone would need to be in looks wise, but it is a very large ballpark.

[MeadowFlower]

for me, if I connect with a woman intellectually that is more than half of it. If she is my friend and comrade that is even more.

 

Thumbs up

 

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[MeadowFlower]

if you have any hopes of the relationship being intimate, etc...And really...do you want a partner that you are "meh" about when they come to see you, or do you want to say "damn!".when they are walking your way..??

 

TFY

 

Yea but what about if you love the person.. Would you toss them aside just because they look 'meh' to you? Would the fact that you loved them cause you to want to be intimate with them?