If A Guy Doesn't Like a Girl Early On

[chillii]

Yeah l wasn't only talking about looks it's gotta be both for me.

known women with a personalty l loved but if l wasn't into the looks then it's no go and vise versa too. Wouldn't matter what she looks like if ldon't like the person and personality.

 

 

ps , but that's me , knowm a few people over the years though that were just friends for a long time , something changed years later and they became couples.

Edited November 16, 2019 by chillii
ps

[Mysterio]

Lets just be real. Both men and women want it all. We want our romantic SO to be in shape and dress/groomed well at the least. Be a sweet loving person and have something interesting to say.

 

So its in our best interest to be the same way. I am 48 Black male. 5'9. My hairline was going south sort of. I just shave my head. I look better clean cut than with a goatee. I was hovering around 225 lbs. I am not bouncing between 197-199 pounds. My goal weight is 173-177 lbs.

 

I dress sharp when I go out. I do it to look appealing to women and I like a more lean look on myself.

 

When I look at a woman. For me there is a threshold for over weight and too skinny. It can't be helped. My physical attraction towards a woman starts with a face. Be she a little heavy or skinny. That face is what is my focus when it comes to attraction. After that it gets blended in the personality. The more warm and direct she is with me. The less I feel like I have to reach out and do the leg work. If there is a romantic spark from me towards her I may investigate her more for romantic relationship.

 

I do notice when I look back at my history. A romantic relationship with me works better when the women are more into me, than vice versa. Its like if I make the moves on Mary. We won't turn into a couple or really date. There will be some obstcle that prevents us from being that way. If Jane likes me. It seems to work out for ahwhile. I guess I am more open to a woman dating me and exploring a romantic relationship with each other, than vice versa.

 

Someone tell me what I am doing wrong?

[basil67]

Someone tell me what I am doing wrong?

 

In this thread, you're taking someone else's issue and hijacking the conversation to make it about you. Perhaps this is something you also do in real life? If so, it's not an attractive trait.

 

Or perhaps it's that you have a record stuck on repeat detailing exactly who you are and exactly what you want in a partner. It's all fantasy and has no space for the reality of the need for being flexible in life and love.

 

Suggest you start your own thread where we can continue.

[Mysterio]

I just made a statement on what I think that was reflective of my life within this post. I don't really see this as hijacking. Otherwise I would have been a lot more detailed and used a current situation.

 

If it is perceived as a hijack then I will start my own thread.

[thefooloftheyear]

Yea but what about if you love the person.. Would you toss them aside just because they look 'meh' to you? Would the fact that you loved them cause you to want to be intimate with them?

 

 

 

Not necessarily...And I don't think I am alone in this, so be don't be so quick to call anyone shallow about this..

 

I think far too often people try to make that situation work and fail miserably...Eventually they realize while the person is great, they are constantly pining for that "something else" that allows for a more romantic/sexual energy to be present..

 

Most people know right away if the other person is attractive to them in a sexual/romantic way...In other words and to more directly answer your question, just becoming close friends with someone in the hopes that all of a sudden they wake up one day and find you irresistibly attractive is a dicey proposition and usually wont happen...

 

I guess if you are like some couples( I know some personally) that have great relationships/marriages and love each other dearly, but have no romantic or sexual interest or activity, then great, it all works...But most people wont want that...

 

TFY

[mark clemson]

Agree - if you truly can't be attracted to them, then it's a bad idea that will cause dissatisfaction or other issues. A "just anybody better than nobody" choice most likely becomes a placeholder until something better comes along.

[fromheart]

If a man isn't blown away by a womans looks, he never will be most probably. Its essential for this to happen IMO.

 

I have had a woman grow on me, but always wished she were hotter. It was a problem in the relationship for me. Now I'm honest with myself and only go for women I'm very attracted to from the onset.

 

There are men out there who will feel differently.

[Mysterio]

I can't handle obese. Or super skinny or greying hair with a young face.

 

I think most women are at least a 7 which to me is cute. I find most women attractive from 20 to 70 something. As long as they put some effort into their look.

 

I am more a face person than anything.

[Blind-Sided]

I didn't read through all of this... I'm just answering the original question.

 

 

For me... it could. But here are the situations....

 

 

1) If this was a blind date, and we didn't connect enough to even make a second date... then obviously it will never change. Simply because we wouldn't be getting back together.

 

 

2) If this was someone I knew, and wasn't interested at first. But over time we got to know each other... and that spark built... then yes, it can happen.

 

 

Let's face it... in #2... we were "Dating" in a way, just socializing with each other. When I had an office job, there was several girls that I wasn't attracted to up front... but over time, I saw that they had great personalities. FYI, I was married at the time, so nothing happened. But, if I was single... I'm guessing something would have.