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Is this the right choice


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Hello, I need some advice if anyone has experienced similar. I have been with my BF for 4.5 years and we lived together for 4 of those years. We got together a few months after his divorce and that was a quick process from him splitting with ex wife to being finalised. They have a son together.

 

I never met his ex wife although he told me all the negative comments she made about me. She is very controlling with their son and calls all the shots which has been difficult for my bf and watching him distressed. But he never stands up to her. He will not invest in my home as he is not in the deeds yet is happy to live here. I offered to add him if he invested some money as there is a lot of equity and he said if i loved him i wouldnt want money from him.

 

Fast forward to last week, we had a little argument about commitment into the house which escalated into me asking him to move out. Which he has. Now I'm torn because I do love him but if I am totally honest with myself I do not feel I get the same level of commitment he gave his ex wife. Because he was hurt hes very wary and I understand this but after nearly 5 years I expected more.

 

I feel like I will always be a second best. Is this something anyone has experienced? I am going NC for the foreseeable future

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He doesn't, in my opinion, necessarily need to be expected to buy into your home without having his name on it (which you would be foolish to do), so he should, however, be paying equal in value as far as the bills so he's contributing the same or similar.

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