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How crazy is it that the one girl I truly loved, I've never had sex with.


Rico3

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She was my first GF. I met her when I was 13yrs old. I'm 37yrs old now and think about her all the time. She's popped in and out of my life this whole time. It's been like 6+ years since the last time I spoke with her. My heart hurts when I think about her and still makes my eyes watery.

 

I've tried everything to get her back. I've begged, pleaded and spilled my guts to her. But she chose to stay with her kids and SO.

 

I just think it's crazy how you can love someone so much and I've never seen her naked or had sex with her.

 

I wonder if she'll be the last person I think about on my death bed.

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She was my first GF. I met her when I was 13yrs old. I'm 37yrs old now and think about her all the time. She's popped in and out of my life this whole time. It's been like 6+ years since the last time I spoke with her. My heart hurts when I think about her and still makes my eyes watery.

 

I've tried everything to get her back. I've begged, pleaded and spilled my guts to her. But she chose to stay with her kids and SO.

 

I just think it's crazy how you can love someone so much and I've never seen her naked or had sex with her.

 

I wonder if she'll be the last person I think about on my death bed.

 

 

I have a similar story.

 

I met this girl at the end of my college years (I was about to graduate, she was a junior). I fell head-over-heels instantly. She and I started talking for hours and hours every single day. I would wake up with a message from her. I then said (she was a huge movie buff), "hey, I should come over with a bottle of bourbon (she also liked bourbon) and we should watch a movie!"

 

Long story short, we were making out quickly, she was undressed, I was in my boxers.

 

I sort of knew this was going to happen, so I came to LoveShack for advice. They told me that I should tell her that I really like her (I did), and that I didn't want sex to ruin it.

 

I did exactly that.

 

It was a mistake.

 

She clearly felt rejected, and now, 7 years later, she and I are both in (relatively) long-term relationships. We don't say a word to each other, but a part of me still grasps on "what-ifs." It was more lust than love, but I never cried so hard or felt so rejected as I did in the couple of years after that. She and I hung out several times, but it was always in the context of "friends" for her. She knew I wanted her so badly, and she didn't feel the same way. She even sat me down and told me "we don't choose who we love. If we did, I would probably choose you. But I feel nothing but friendship for you. I wish it were different. I'm sorry." It hurt my soul.

 

Honestly, there may end up being a couple of women like this in your life. It just is what it is. You deal with it, you move on, and you find another woman that you'll love.

 

There isn't only one person in this world that you could potentially fall in love with. There are many.

Edited by lakerman34
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I think about a woman all the time, never touched her, never went out with her. I loved her the moment I met her. She was a fantasy, though we probably had little in common. She is married, I had no chance at all. NC now for many years.

Sometimes we do not choose who we love and the depth of that love or its duration. It is not logical but it is true. That's why obsessions persist. Mostly, it is pure wishful thinking--at least for me.

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She didn't want to have sex with you, so I guess she wasn't attracted in that way anyway. Have you considered that why you want to have sex with her so bad is because she was kind of out of your league in attractiveness, or else it might have been mutual? I think it's odd that sex is everyone's main concern here. This is definitely a man thing.

 

And just a little tip, begging and pleading is weak and considered unattractive and desperate by most women. So we've all felt like that, but hold onto your dignity in the future because whatever she did think of you, that likely diminished it.

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She didn't want to have sex with you, so I guess she wasn't attracted in that way anyway. Have you considered that why you want to have sex with her so bad is because she was kind of out of your league in attractiveness, or else it might have been mutual? I think it's odd that sex is everyone's main concern here. This is definitely a man thing.

 

And just a little tip, begging and pleading is weak and considered unattractive and desperate by most women. So we've all felt like that, but hold onto your dignity in the future because whatever she did think of you, that likely diminished it.

 

The begging and pleading was my last ditch effort. I had exhausted all other options. lol

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