I met a guy on Tinder. No contact prolly for the next 2 months

[Jaki]

Hello everyone. I am very new here. I would like to ask some pieces of advice from you. I am a Filipina. I sprained my ankle my one resulting in not able to go to the gym. My usual routine is that I go to the gym every night after work, after gym, i sleep and start the day all over again.

 

 

When I sprained my ankle, I need to stay at home that's why i installed Tinder because i was bored. I always swiped left and seldom swiped right. Then I matched with this guy I never thought that we would feel very comfortable with each other and we felt like we are meant for each other.

 

 

Unfortunately, he only stayed in the Philippines for 2weeks or so. He was in the Philippines when we matched on Tinder. His last one week is when we matched. So only talked to each other for 1week. But the whole week was perfect. We talked on Tinder for only 3 days and he asked for my number so we talked using our personal number. He was so happy that he was able to talk to me thru sms and not on tinder. He told me that he can text and call me even if he is away. Yes, he doesnt live in the Philippines. He lives in Canada. He only visits Philippines to manage some business. He stays in the Philippines for 2weeks and back to Canada. He visits Philippines like every 2-3months.

 

 

My problem is here. When we talked for the whole 1week, he was so sweet and very vocal about liking me and my personality. He had 2 exgirlfriends when he was in Highschool. For the past 12 years, he was single.

 

 

 

He even showed my pictures to his relatives here in the Philippines and even to his mother. His mother is a Filipina. His father is a Korean. But they all live in Canada. He even told his mother while showing my picture that I was the one he wanted to marry.

 

 

Fast forward, he asked me not to get a boyfriend until he come back here in the Philippines. He even told me that he is very busy in Canada. But he printed a picture of me and put it in his wallet.

 

 

We never met before their flight going back to Canada. Tho we had one video call when he was in the airport. I saw his face smiling and blushing. He was not talking and only staring at me. When the video call ended, he told me that he was stunned by me, he could not tell any words but there are millions he wanted to say.

 

 

There are a lot things i want to share but it will take long.

 

 

Guys, do i need to wait for him this December 20? I wanted to wait. At the back of my mind, what if he will not contact me for the next 2months, what if he will not come to the Philippines this December 20?

 

 

For me, he is all Ive been wishing for.

[Jaki]

He sent a message thru viber when he landed in Canada in November 5, he talked about missing me and all. His last message was last November 6 sending me a selfie. and no message at all since then.

[ExpatInItaly]

No, definitely do not wait on a stranger you have never met.

 

There are a lot of red flags all over this, namely him saying he wants to marry you when he's never met you. Healthy, mature adults don't do things like that and I would be very suspicious of him if I were you.

 

You have no way of knowing if anything he told you about himself is true. You don't know if he's already married or has a girlfriend back home. You don't know if he's told anyone in his family about you. You only know what he looks like. That is nothing, in the grand scheme of things. Did he literally say nothing in your video call? That is also very bizarre.

 

What you do know isn't good: he's asking you not meet any other men until he comes back. He's claiming he wants to marry you. This isn't normal coming from a perfect stranger.

 

Your better use of time would be figuring why you have put all your hopes on a stranger and a fantasy life he's created in your mind.

Edited November 12, 2019 by ExpatInItaly

[d0nnivain]

Don't wait for somebody you have never met. It's already the middle of November. Do you really think you will end up in an exclusive committed relationship by Dec. 20? Of course you won't. Date, don't date it's up to you. I wouldn't be super busy on Tinder since that is where you "met" him but I wouldn't hold my breath for him either. If he' snot messaging you every few days, there is nothing real here.

 

Even if you meet at Christmas, so what? He's still Canadian. You two will face the distance, all the problems of an LDR & immigration issues. All of that is putting the cart before the horse because you haven't met. You may not even like each other.

 

This business about him printing out a picture of you & putting it in his wallet -- what a bunch of bunk. He's either lying or so socially backwards / inexperienced / desperate that he's not worth dating.

[Jaki]

Hello ExpatInItaly.

 

 

 

Yes, you are right! I don't have ways to verify things he has been instilling in my mind.

But I had chances to meet him when he was here, I was just very busy. And I thought that we will definitely see each other this December that's why we just scheduled our meeting this December instead.

 

 

He was saying Hello and all during our video call but the signal was very poor. When i mentioned about him not saying anything at all during our video call was when the signal was very good that we can see each other clearly and we can talk clearly. In short, he was talking to me when the signal was very poor but when the signal was excellent, he looked shocked and genuinely amazed. I can see also his genuine smile while looking at me.

[Jaki]

Hello d0nnivain!

 

 

Will your opinion somehow change if I tell you that he was saving all the information about himself and all interesting stuffs about him when we meet? He was saving those talks and share it with me if we meet.

 

 

I know I am being pathetic here. But why do I feel I have to wait for him. It is in my guts and instincts.

 

I can still remember when he told me that waiting for him would be worth it and I wont regret it.

 

 

Would you also change your mind if I tell you that we talked over the phone for almost 4hours? sharing and talking random stuffs, we smiled and laughed all through out the call. In addition, I was lying on bed for those almost 4hours and he was outside of their house, being sucked by the mosquitoes because we had the call around 11pm-3am.

[ExpatInItaly]

Hello ExpatInItaly. Yes, you are right! I don't have ways to verify things he has been instilling in my mind.

But I had chances to meet him when he was here, I was just very busy. And I thought that we will definitely see each other this December that's why we just scheduled our meeting this December instead.

 

The reason why you didn't meet isn't all that relevant.

 

What is more troubling is the lines this guy is filling your head with, and the future he's dreaming up - you don't know him at all, and you really should be employing higher standards and better judgment to avoid these situations.

 

None of this is a good idea. As d0nnivain said, he's either extremely socially inept and desperate, or he's spinning all kinds of lies to try to control you. Neither is good. And he is saving all the interesting things about himself for when you meet in December? No. That doesn't make any sense. It tells me he needs time to dream up more lies that sound plausible.

 

I'm sorry, but I would not expect a relationship out of this. If he's been quiet for a week, he's not that interested, anyway. Don't let desperation lead you to get wrapped up with shady men.

Edited November 13, 2019 by ExpatInItaly