Husband keeps bringing up sexual past

[elaine567]

I believe some people are just not monogamous.

They may get railroaded into monogamous relationships by religion, society, tradition and culture, but their natural instincts are to have more than one partner either all at once or they are constantly seeking to change partners.

They cheat, they monkey branch or they get chronically miserable if their natural instincts are disallowed.

 

Promiscuity is a trait that can often identify these non-monogamous types, hence why those of a monogamous mindset often make promiscuity a deal breaker.

[4fin]

I think it's more than people that are not monogamous. The examples in the animal kingdom are hysterical. You have geese for example that look identical, fly thousands of miles a year and get shot at as they do. Who in their right mind believes someone is out following geese to make sure they are not banging some other goose? I'm not buying it. Then there's whales. More or less the same deal. They look alike, swim all over the planet and I'm supposed to believe they're not bopping some other whale because someone says so?

[S2B]

I’d be telling him that past sexual experiences are off limits (especially during an argument)!

 

He’s using info like a weapon. That’s unkind and calculated.

 

If he did it again I’d leave him - and I’m serious about that. When I share PRIVATE info with someone I care about - I would never expect them to use it against me in a time of distress. That’s a deal breaker.

 

Tell him to stop being cruel.

[mark clemson]

Then there's whales. More or less the same deal. They look alike, swim all over the planet and I'm supposed to believe they're not bopping some other whale because someone says so?

 

 

The nice thing about science is that if contrary evidence eventually presents itself then they will change the "conclusion" about monogamy. Also pretty sure the larger whales are easily individually distinguishable by markings such as scratches and barnacles.

 

Of course there are different species. I saw a nature program where a poor female whale (I forget which species) was essentially gang-raped by males. So they're not ALL monogamous.

 

/End Threadjack

[explosivetomato]

Fascinating thread this, especially for me as it sheds more insight into the issues I’ve had in my own thread.

 

If I don’t make it with my current gf (and I really hope I do) then I won’t ask a thing about the next ones past. It’s a can of worms that leads anywhere but happiness.