Stocks87 Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 Which is better for the 1st date? A guy picking her up from her house or meeting her in a public place? On the one hand picking her up from the house is an act of chivalry and many women want to see guys displaying chivalry. On the same token there is a right time for it. Showing chivalry at the wrong time (too early) could attack her comfort level. Comfort level and security reasons trump chivalry. For security reasons (since I am a total stranger on the 1st date) I do not offer to pick her up from the house but ask her to meet me someplace. 2nd date and beyond I believe in offering to pick her up from the house. Your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 Let her chose. Most women won't let you pick them up for a 1st date especially off OLD. You can throw it out there but give her the option & make it clear that you are OK with her saying no thank you. Personally I needed about 4 dates before I would let a guy come to my house to pick me up. It's easier & less awkward to avoid the near occasion of sex if proximity to a bed or couch does not factor in. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 First date - unless this is someone I have known for a while - meet in public place. I don't want a practical stranger knowing where I live, nor do I want to get into their car after the first hello. Rules are different if he had been an acquaintance for awhile. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stocks87 Posted November 12, 2019 Author Share Posted November 12, 2019 I'm ok with her declining even when I offer on 2nd date or beyond. That would not bother me. As long as she had a good time on the date and she is receptive to going out again that's all that matters. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 Say something like: The chivalrous part of me is willing to pick you up for our date but if that's too forward, I'm fine with meeting you there. Which would you prefer? Then you tried but you were respectful of her boundaries. It shows you are savvy but sweet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lurker74 Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 If you met her in real life and have spoken to her for a bit, then yes, offer to pick her up. If online or a cold approach, don't even offer what d0nni said...just meet her. There comes a point when being too forward is simply too forward and a man picking a woman up at her place was fine when we were called gentleman callers but is not longer appropriate for dates today. Second date? Fine. First time, especially if you have never met? Weird and off putting. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 ^ Oh, that is really good! Suave! Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 Which is better for the 1st date? A guy picking her up from her house or meeting her in a public place? Meet her there. She can Uber/Lyft/drive herself to the date. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 For men I've never met before, I prefer to drive myself to a mutual meeting spot. Second date and beyond, offering to pick me up would be very much appreciated and seen as a bonus in your favor for being so chivalrous - a rare find these days. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 In my case, they've always offered. I meet them for date 1, and then if we hit it off, they offer to pick me up from date 2 on and I accept. It's understood he doesn't come in at the end of the date until I'm ready for that and invite him in. Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 Meet somewhere for a first date. Then when you get to know someone, then you can pick her up. But it’s nice that you asked. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 Meet her there. That's just a lot more comfortable for everyone. Future dates you can adjust based on both or preferences. First date, you don't necessarily want to see where they live and all of that. Just want to meet them in a public place. Link to post Share on other sites
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