leighmc Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 Well today (oct 1) was my ex boyfriends b-day. I've been debating what I was going to do about it for a couple weeks. I have been trying to do NC without much success. I always end up contacting him because I miss him and can't seem to let go. Anyway, I decided it can't hurt to send him the birthday text message. So I did. All I said was "happy birthday!!" This was around 2:00 this afternoon. I know he got the text message because my cell phone tells me when a text message is delivered. Well, its 3:40 a.m. and I still haven't gotten a reply. I wasn't expecting anything but a simple thank you. We previously decided that we would be friends so I figured that was the least he would say. I guess he couldn't even take the time to say thanks. I don't understand and I really need to let go of him. I know a lot of people have hopes of reconciling. The only reason I have/had any hope was because he was trying to get back with me and when I finally decided I wanted to try again he said no. I figured he was just playing hard to get. I just don't know what is going through his head anymore. I can't take anymore of the wondering and I just need to let go. Everybody at LS tells me NC is the best way to go. For some reason it is so hard for me to follow through. I really, really want to do it but I always end up weak and think that it won't hurt to talk to him. I haven't cried about him in about a week but my heart still hurts. I've gotten alot of great advice from everyone here but it still doesn't seem to help in the long run. For the moment I feel better and feel stronger but then I end up breaking down and contacting him. How can I get past the urges to contact him? Is there anything I should do that would help get him back? I've previously said if it is meant to be then it will happen again but I just can't seem to take my own advice. If anybody has any advice on how to stick to NC or what is the best way to get him back, i'd really appreciate hearing anything anybody has to offer. Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 leigh, Why are you pining away for someone who obviously believes at the moment that they can find happiness without you in their lives? This thought should make you angry! It is obvious that they don't feel the same for you as you feel for them and you need to realize that there is nothing you can do to convince them otherwise. Why would you want to convince them anyway? Don't you think that the good times you had should stand on their own? If they don't feel the same then forget them and find someone that will cherish them the same way as you do. The only thing you can do is focus on yourself and get yourself mentally and physically healthy. It is extremely difficult I know, hell I am up at 4:30 as I woke up from too much anxiety over an ex, yet those were the thoughts that I too had to reconcile with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author leighmc Posted October 2, 2005 Author Share Posted October 2, 2005 You are right but it's just so confusing to me because he wanted me back and when I decided the time was right he didn't want to try again. I have met someone else but all I think about is my ex. I just don't understand why I can't let it be. I'm scared to move on because I don't want to hurt anybody. This whole situation is messing with my head and it's so unbelieveably hard for me to let go and move on. It's been almost 3 months since we broke up and here I am on LS while he is out having fun. I know I need to stick with NC to be able to move on and recover from this situation. Thanks for posting, I try to take what everybody has to say to heart and try to follow through with what I say but I'm still so messed up! Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 I am messed up still leigh too and it is coming up on 2.5 months since my ex girlfriend and I broke up. And you are right in that we are up at 4:30 on LS and they are out there trying to get on with life. Either way whether we agree with their decisions or not, we need to let go and stop asking questions. In the end they will realize what they had and if not it is entirely their loss as there is someone out there who will cherish what we have to offer. Please be careful getting involved with someone new at this point as it is evident that you are not emotionally ready for anything too serious. Finding someone to hang with is nice yet be entirely open with the guy please as it will be a major heartbreak for him otherwise. He might just be ready to feel for you and you will be no where near feeling for him as you still need to heal yourself and reconcile the good and bad from the past. Best of luck leigh. Link to post Share on other sites
pippen_2k Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 Theres no secret in sticking to NC, and its totally up to you. You will keep playing these games with text messages and phone calls etc etc and you will suffer like you are now. But one day hopefully soon you will realise that you are sick and tired of getting hurt and feeling miserable everyday, and thats when you will say NO MORE and stick to NC. We have all done what your doing, and it never works.. It takes some people a few times to get burnt to realise that they want NC to heal themselves. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 he wanted me back and when I decided the time was right he didn't want to try again. Hi leigh, Im curious about this quote. Who broke up with who, and what do you mean the time was right? Why wasnt the time right before? Link to post Share on other sites
Author leighmc Posted October 2, 2005 Author Share Posted October 2, 2005 I broke up with him. I needed space, i'm a very independant person and he constantly wanted to spend time with me, every night, every weekend and when we weren't together he was constantly calling me and sending text messages. When we broke up I told him it wasn't a permanent thing that I just needed some space to figure things out. At first, he didn't honor my request. He still constantly called me, started calling me at work and constantly wanted to hang out. Then he finally gave me the space I requested and I realized that I did love him and wanted to be with him. I went to his house to talk about this and told him I was ready to try again. Thats when he told me he wanted to be single and that he had met someone else who he was dating (i knew he had met someone else because his roommate told me). He told me he no longer had feelings for me and that we would not get back together. The reason I can't let go is because 2 weeks before we had this talk he sent me a text that said he loved me so much and I was the best thing that happend to him. Then 2 weeks later he tells me he no longer has feelings for me and we won't be together. I still feel like there is hope if I could just stick to NC and maybe he would realize what I realized when he finally gave me time to realize I loved him. Link to post Share on other sites
RALAKARF Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 Hi leighmc, It's been about 2 months since me and my ex broke it off...I haven't called her, text msg'd her, emailed her, or anything since... We were together for almost 6 years...nvr fought. She cheated on me at the end... So how do I keep up NC? Every time over the last 2 months that I had any urge to call her, I just pictured that my call would be interrupting an intimate call she was having with her new guy....that pretty much did the trick...and after a while, the urges went away. Don't know if that's a good thing to do...but it worked for me... Link to post Share on other sites
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