KaiKai39 Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 But, I feel bad about it. 1) He’s Married-pending divorce 2) Age difference. Backstory: Since I first met my doctor he has been flirting with me heavily before I just thought it was cultural and age differences or some people are just flirty, but now I know it’s not a coincidence. For example, he asked me if I could be his girlfriend one day since he revealed to me that he was about to be single(this was a year ago and he’s still married). He said it in a monotone manner I just laughed thinking he was joking. Several occasions he has either complimenting my body or face. He has had heavy interest in my social and professional life and tied whatever I’m interested in to his personal interest. Last appointment, we were talking about his office PC and he said I don’t even look like I work in IT. Again, thinking that he is just bantering I laughed and moved back to the conversation about his PC (which suddenly crashed) while we were talking about it. I told him it was an easy fix to get it back up and running and gave him the steps. Not even thinking anything of it, he told me to come back to his office later that night. I immediately said fine. I didn’t mind helping him, he’s older and not super tech savvy. When I came back a few hours later, I rang the bell to his office and to my surprise he open the door with regular clothes on. I joked with him saying it’s weird seeing him in normal clothes like seeing a teacher outside of class. I noticed that it was literally just the two of us and he lead me back to his office to work on his computer. While working on his computer he just straight up asked if I liked older men. That was when it clicked that he was really hitting on me previously and of course now. I didn’t really answer his question, I just remember him putting his hand on my thigh and I didn’t stop him. We ended up making out (no sex) even though I can tell he wanted it to go there. Now, I feel bad about it, but at the same time I want to explore this more. I’m trying to not get my hopes up and think that it maybe more than sex, but we do have a lot in common despite our age differences. On the other hand, he is my doctor and still legally married and then there’s the age difference. Should I try it or just stop it in it’s tracks? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 What kind of doctor is he? Complimenting your body is super creepy. What's the age difference? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 If this doc is smart he'll be the one to stop this in its tracks. What he's doing is unethical, and it puts his license at risk. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 13, 2019 Author Share Posted November 13, 2019 If this doc is smart he'll be the one to stop this in its tracks. What he's doing is unethical, and it puts his license at risk. Ugh, I thought of that too. But, I wouldn’t tell anyone that doesn’t need to know about our relationship if it was to move forward. We’re still texting, so he trust me enough to know I wouldn’t jeopardize his career by telling everyone especially not certain people who would tell my parents and then that would explode to his office. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 13, 2019 Author Share Posted November 13, 2019 What kind of doctor is he? Complimenting your body is super creepy. What's the age difference? He’s my primary. He didn’t compliment my body in a creepy way just made a brief statement. I’m kind of ashamed of the age difference tbh, I still can’t believe I did what I did with him, but I’m 24 and he’s in he’s 53. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 I wouldn’t jeopardize his career by telling everyone especially not certain people who would tell my parents and then that would explode to his office. Your parents? Are you underage? (Nevermind ) Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 He’s my primary. He didn’t compliment my body in a creepy way just made a brief statement. I’m kind of ashamed of the age difference tbh, I still can’t believe I did what I did with him, but I’m 24 and he’s in he’s 53. That's a big age difference, but I don't think you should feel shame. He should, though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 he trust me enough to know I wouldn’t jeopardize his career by telling everyone especially not certain people who would tell my parents and then that would explode to his office. Then he's incredibly naive. When you get tired of shagging in his office and not having a proper relationship, you would be a huge risk to both his marriage and career. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 13, 2019 Author Share Posted November 13, 2019 That's a big age difference, but I don't think you should feel shame. He should, though. Yeah I know, it makes me feel weird typing out the ages and realizing how big it is. But, I like him as a person and now that something could be on the table I’m not completely put off by it. He not giving me vibes that he is ashamed at all of what happen. He wants to set up an actual date this weekend. I’m just apprehensive Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 He not giving me vibes that he is ashamed at all of what happen. He wants to set up an actual date this weekend. I’m just apprehensive Why do you believe him that his marriage is ending? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 13, 2019 Author Share Posted November 13, 2019 Then he's incredibly naive. When you get tired of shagging in his office and not having a proper relationship, you would be a huge risk to both his marriage and career. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. That’s true. And I don’t want to be that girl that sings that he’s getting a divorce. He said he was getting a divorce a year ago, I’m not Sure if it even takes that long to separate ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 Creeper alert. Yikes! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 This guy is a seasoned married player. OP you knew he was interested before you went to his office at night and be honest that is why you went. You also know he's married. Apparently none of this matters to you because you want to explore. Okay, as long as you admit you're going into this with eyes wide open so not to blame him later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 Why do you believe him that his marriage is ending? I have nothing but his word and he hasn’t given me a real reason to disbelieve, yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 This guy is a seasoned married player. OP you knew he was interested before you went to his office at night and be honest that is why you went. You also know he's married. Apparently none of this matters to you because you want to explore. Okay, as long as you admit you're going into this with eyes wide open so not to blame him later. I honestly didn’t know he was interested like that prior to going to his office that night. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt because I’ve interacting with men before who were extremely flirty but not interested. They just liked to flirt. I do know he’s married and it does matter. He said he’s getting a divorce but I really have nothing but his word to stand on that Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Ugh, I thought of that too. But, I wouldn’t tell anyone that doesn’t need to know about our relationship if it was to move forward. We’re still texting, so he trust me enough to know I wouldn’t jeopardize his career by telling everyone especially not certain people who would tell my parents... If you are worried about someone telling your parents, that tells me that you know this is very inappropriate behavior... You may never tell, but these kinds of things have a way of becoming public knowledge and when it does... he will lose his license and his primary source income. Not many men are so careless... And consider this - if he is bold enough to do this with you, how many other patients do you think he is flirting with too... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 I have nothing but his word and he hasn’t given me a real reason to disbelieve, yet. His totally unethical behavior of hitting on a patient doesn't give you some kind of reason to question him? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Ugh, I thought of that too. But, I wouldn’t tell anyone that doesn’t need to know about our relationship if it was to move forward. It won't. One of his office staff is going to happen upon evidence of what he's doing---because the truth never stays buried and he's messy--and both you and he are going to be in a world of problems, him more so because you're going to cause him to lose his license. Pride goes before destruction 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 His totally unethical behavior of hitting on a patient doesn't give you some kind of reason to question him? Like the husband who cheats on his wife and yet his affair partner thinks he walks on water... No reason to question his character... other than the fact that he is lying and cheating on his wife. It’s amazing how we chose to believe what we want to believe sometimes, and casually dismiss that which does not support our agenda. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 I can almost guarantee he is doing this to other young females that are his patients. He should lose his medical license. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 He's currently still legally married so put a stop to it. It doesn't matter his marriage is ending, that's just something you don't want to get involved in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 If you are worried about someone telling your parents, that tells me that you know this is very inappropriate behavior... You may never tell, but these kinds of things have a way of becoming public knowledge and when it does... he will lose his license and his primary source income. Not many men are so careless... And consider this - if he is bold enough to do this with you, how many other patients do you think he is flirting with too... My parents wouldn’t want me to date anyone that much older regardless of his title. You have a legitimate point about other patients. I would not be surprise if he does hit on other women, but that’s not my primary concern right now because we’re not together he can flirt with whomever and vice versa. I’m more concern about the marriage thing...like does it take that long to get a divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 He's currently still legally married so put a stop to it. It doesn't matter his marriage is ending, that's just something you don't want to get involved in. That’s true. It shouldn’t be this hard to casually date someone. I don’t want to be involve in any mess. The more I think about it and have perspective outside of my own the more I realize it’s hot water. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 The more I think about it and have perspective outside of my own the more I realize it’s hot water. Scalding!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 I can almost guarantee he is doing this to other young females that are his patients. He should lose his medical license. Agreed. This x1000. This isn't his first time seducing a young female patient. It won't be his last either... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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