BaileyB Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 You have a legitimate point about other patients. I would not be surprise if he does hit on other women, but that’s not my primary concern right now because we’re not together he can flirt with whomever and vice versa. It should be your concern, because it shows a total lack of boundaries, poor judgment, and poor character. Not the kind of guy that you want in your life. My parents wouldn’t want me to date anyone that much older regardless of his title. How old are you KaiKai? The fact that you would even concern yourself with your parents response shows a certain lack of maturity. Grown women don’t even entertain the advances of married physicians because they know how completely inappropriate this situation is - for so many reasons. They also don’t worry about what their parents will think. I’m quite sure the age difference will be the least of your parents concerns - they are likely to be more concerned about the inappropriate nature of the relationship and the fact that there is a significant power differential here (because of age and profession) that puts you in a very vulnerable position to be taken advantage of by this man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 It should be your concern, because it shows a total lack of boundaries, poor judgment, and poor character. Not the kind of guy that you want in your life. How old are you KaiKai? The fact that you would even concern yourself with your parents response shows a certain lack of maturity. Grown women don’t even entertain the advances of married physicians because they know how completely inappropriate this situation is - for so many reasons. They also don’t worry about what their parents will think. I’m quite sure the age difference will be the least of your parents concerns - they are likely to be more concerned about the inappropriate nature of the relationship and the fact that there is a significant power differential here (because of age and profession) that puts you in a very vulnerable position to be taken advantage of by this man. I’m 24, he’s 53. My parents are very involved in my life, I guess it’s part of my culture. But I mentioned before it’s too daring to play with a married man all things considered you guys have been helpful...tough but helpful lol. I don’t even really know for sure he even went forward with his divorce. I already text him that what happen was a mistake. He’s not happy and wants to meet up and talk tonight (it’s almost 10 my time so that’s crazy). I don’t think anything substantial will happen for me to change my mind. He’s still married :/ Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 He’s not happy and wants to meet up and talk tonight (it’s almost 10 my time so that’s crazy). I don’t think anything substantial will happen for me to change my mind. He’s still married :/ What!? Don't go meet him! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 (edited) He is still married. Best to ignore his text. Block him. Don’t meet him, there is nothing he can say that will change the fact that he is a married man. And, it’s time to find yourself another doctor. Once he has crossed the boundary - and texting a patient and asking to meet is definitely crossing a professional boundary - there is no going back. It would totally creep me out - both his age, and wondering how many other women he has pursued. This guy is not someone you should ever trust. Edited November 14, 2019 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 What!? Don't go meet him! He is still married. Best to ignore his text. Block him. Don’t meet him, there is nothing he can say that will change the fact that he is a married man. And, it’s time to find yourself another doctor. Once he has crossed the boundary - and texting a patient and asking to meet is definitely crossing a professional boundary - there is no going back. It would totally creep me out - both his age, and wondering how many other women he has pursued. This guy is not someone you should ever trust. I'm definitely not going to meet him! There's nothing to say at this point. And now, I feel like I put myself in an awkward position for being so naive because now he text me saying we should finish what we started earlier It's like he switch gears as soon as I rejected him. I guess he's not use to being rejected. I thought entitlement dies after a certain age, I guess not. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 It's like he switch gears as soon as I rejected him. I guess he's not use to being rejected. I thought entitlement dies after a certain age, I guess not. Ugh. Yuck. Is it possible for you to get a new doctor? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 Ugh. Yuck. Is it possible for you to get a new doctor? Yesss, I’m going to have to switch to outside my area because he knows a lot of local doctors. But this is too much and it’s already gone too far. It’s my fault for leading him on by even letting him touch me without considering everything . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Yesss, I’m going to have to switch to outside my area because he knows a lot of local doctors. But this is too much and it’s already gone too far. It’s my fault for leading him on by even letting him touch me without considering everything . You live and you learn. Not sure where you live, but you should consider filing a complaint with his professional college. Consider that he is likely to do this again and the next woman may not be so smart and/or have the strength to reject his advances. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Yesss, I’m going to have to switch to outside my area because he knows a lot of local doctors. But this is too much and it’s already gone too far. It’s my fault for leading him on by even letting him touch me without considering everything . I would not say it's "your fault." I also don't think you need to worry about who he knows....he's not gonna say anything to anyone about his misdeeds. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 I would not say it's "your fault." I also don't think you need to worry about who he knows....he's not gonna say anything to anyone about his misdeeds. Indeed. He would be stupid to share this information with anyone... And no, this is definitely not your fault. That said, if you do not reject his advances, you do so with the full knowledge that you are putting yourself at significant risk of getting hurt - and hurting others, like his wife and/or children. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Agreed. This x1000. This isn't his first time seducing a young female patient. It won't be his last either... creepy...ugh, sounds like Dr. Nasser up at Michigan State University molesting young female gymnasts 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 I would not say it's "your fault." I also don't think you need to worry about who he knows....he's not gonna say anything to anyone about his misdeeds. You live and you learn. Not sure where you live, but you should consider filing a complaint with his professional college. Consider that he is likely to do this again and the next woman may not be so smart and/or have the strength to reject his advances. Well, he’s making it seem like it’s my fault . Well, for the sake of not going through that awkward moment I would just go outside my area for now. I don’t want to file a complaint I want to put this behind me. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Well, he’s making it seem like it’s my fault . OK, well, don't take the word of someone who is likely just trying to cheat on his wife. You can't believe ANYthing he says, including the fact that this is your fault. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Well, he’s making it seem like it’s my fault . As most manipulative married men will do when they don’t get what they want. It’s just another form of manipulation. This is what I mean by the difference in age and the imbalance of power - he believes that he can pressure and manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to do. It shows you what kind of man he is and it demonstrates exactly why you need to block him from contacting you again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 Indeed. He would be stupid to share this information with anyone... And no, this is definitely not your fault. That said, if you do not reject his advances, you do so with the full knowledge that you are putting yourself at significant risk of getting hurt - and hurting others, like his wife and/or children. I hope you’re right. I told him with no ambiguity that I’m not interested. He still wants to meet up and “clear the air” now. When before he wanted to finish what we started, he keeps flip flopping. I just blocked him. Yeah no, I don’t want to be that girl and then I look bad. creepy...ugh, sounds like Dr. Nasser up at Michigan State University molesting young female gymnasts Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 I just blocked him. Yeah no, I don’t want to be that girl and then I look bad. Good for you! Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 He still wants to meet up and “clear the air” now. When before he wanted to finish what we started, he keeps flip flopping. . He’s trying anything that may work to get you to agree to meet. Consider the fact that he may not even be interested in pursuing any kind of relationship with you anymore... He may well have decided to abort and he is looking for reassurance that you are not going to say anything to anyone. He may be trying to cover his but and do some damage control. If he is smart, he will be very aware that his professional life is at risk and he may be attempting to ask you or even threaten you not to say anything to anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 He’s trying anything that may work to get you to agree to meet. Consider the fact that he may not even be interested in pursuing any kind of relationship with you... He may well be trying to cover his but and do some damage control. He may have realized that his professional life is at risk and he may be attempting to ask you or even threaten you not to say anything to anyone. Agree one thousand percent! If I were you, I would tell someone about this. I don't mean "report him" but for your own safety.....people do crazy ass things sometimes (I'm a true crime junkie). Be careful. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 OK, well, don't take the word of someone who is likely just trying to cheat on his wife. You can't believe ANYthing he says, including the fact that this is your fault. As most manipulative married men will do when they don’t get what they want. It’s just another form of manipulation. This is what I mean by the difference in age and the imbalance of power - he believes that he can pressure and manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to do. It shows you what kind of man he is and it demonstrates exactly why you need to block him from contacting you again. I’m not falling for it,again. He already got me before I’m done. I blocked him. Honestly, if he contacts me another way then I have no choice but to bite the bullet and report him. I prefer to just forget this 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaiKai39 Posted November 14, 2019 Author Share Posted November 14, 2019 He’s trying anything that may work to get you to agree to meet. Consider the fact that he may not even be interested in pursuing any kind of relationship with you anymore... He may well have decided to abort and he is looking for reassurance that you are not going to say anything to anyone. He may be trying to cover his but and do some damage control. If he is smart, he will be very aware that his professional life is at risk and he may be attempting to ask you or even threaten you not to say anything to anyone. Agree one thousand percent! If I were you, I would tell someone about this. I don't mean "report him" but for your own safety.....people do crazy ass things sometimes (I'm a true crime junkie). Be careful. Oh my gosh. Y’all making me nervous. I don’t know if I can tell anyone. I feel like people will instantly push it back on me. Because I did go to his office and didn’t stop what happened between us. Him losing his license for doing that will only make him pissed off not resolve anything. He just called be on anonymous line I thought it was my roommate because she hasn’t got in yet and she on my phone as anonymous sometimes. He’s pissed I blocked him he said he doesn’t understand why we can’t just meet to talk and see where it goes. I told him I’m done and he told me to stop being a tease so I hung up. He hasn’t called since so hopefully this is done. I may have to file that compliant if he keeps contacting 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 This man is extraordinarily creepy and disturbingly entitled. He's one of the worst types to become involved with. Do not have any further contact with him. Change doctors immediately, and don't worry about finding one he doesn't know. There is no way he's going to be talking about you to another colleague who would probably report him without hesitation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 op, you are smart to have ended this as quickly as you did. I have a strong feeling you'll be really glad you did...if you aren't already. This doctor would have been made well aware of the ethics of his profession, right from when he first walked through the doors of his medical school. He would also know why it's considered so unethical for a doctor to date a patient, yet he tried to get something going with you. That, coupled with the fact that he's married show an incredible level of hubris. Have you given any consideration to reporting him? If he hit on you like this, he's likely done so with other patients who didn't have the strength you did to put a stop to his shenanigans. He'll probably keep on doing it until he gets caught. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Agree, you were wise to end it and see it for what it was (a married doctor looking to have an affair). Definitely continue to steer clear of this guy, if he re-contacts you, just re-block. If needed, threatening to report him or tell his wife what happened should get him to stop. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 Hmm. He's playing with his license and livelihood. Some years ago, there was a doctor in NJ who crossed the line with his female patients. From that point, he was on probation and needed to keep the door open and have a nurse in the room with him during any interactions with female patients. He messed up again and lost his license and his practice. It sounds like your doctor is just stupid enough to follow in his footsteps. Good for YOU for taking the necessary steps to stop it. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 If he'd respectfully accepted that you decides not to "go there," I could understand just kinda sweeping it under the rug. But Creepy McCreeperson continuing to pressure you (and harass you??) deserves to be reported and lose his license. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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