wtm78 Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 I am not in self pity rather, I am bloody frustrated with life!Why does bad things keep following me? Why are the quality of people around me so bad? What have I done to deserve it? I don't choose which family to be born into? I don't choose who I attract, do I? Does your mom tells you that eating another 2 piece of bread is making her broke when you are young? When the family is not in the reds? Tell you go bath in the public toilet before coming home to save water? When I bath in less than 5mins? Anyone told you to go use the public toilets to save toilet paper? When everyone else in the house use premium toilet paper and I was given the cheapest and coarsest? Do you beaten up when you're young because your younger sister wants your toy and starts crying when she doesn't get what she wants? Do you ask for a computer in your teens and your say no money to $1000 computers but then go ahead and bought a 5k piano for your sister which she quit play after a week. Does your wife spend week 1 flying overseas for work, the when come back work late no time to eat dinner. Came home continued to work till 3-4am every night to report about previous week overseas trip and prepare for the next overseas trip in week 3... so on and so forth... does your wife then left everything to you, left you to deal with household matters and to pick up after her? Then when u want to tell her why you are upset, somehow she becomes the victim? Does your wife never apologize even when she is wrong? Broke your stuff and just stood there while you clean up and pick up the broken glass.. give a pulk and wak away? And when you had even and had full blown fight.. suddenly you get accused of being abusive??? Do you have friends who takes advantage of you when you are sincerely helping them? Do you have friends who only show up and want to connect with with because they want you to sell you something? Do you have friends who talks to you because they want to find out information from you and then disappear without a trace?... I am bloody mad and disappointed with life.... when I look at my life, I have nothing to hold on to... and have no one that I will missed... I have nothing to lose and no reasons to continue fighting for. If life has a switch I would like to turn it off. It's a shame that I wanted a happy life a good life.. but no matter how hard I fight, how much I go against the tide... life is just bring me down... I am s disappointed with my life... it has been a uphill battle.it has been me myself and I against the world... it's not fair... but life isn't fair anyway... I Just want to say I deserve so much better... GRRRRRRRRR....... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 You clearly had a rough childhood & didn't get the love / caring you needed to be able to form healthy adult relationships. Because you only knew dysfunction & withholding, you found a broken spouse too. Somewhere in here if you want things to change, you have to change yourself. If you have never had therapy, get some. Work on building your own self esteem. I work long hours & so does my husband. At times we leave the household stuff to the other one. We sometimes don't eat dinner together. It happens. We do try to apologize but sometime people hurt the one we love. Perhaps speak to your wife & ask if you can set aside couple time for the two of you. Just because you are married doesn't mean your relationship doesn't need nurturing. if you have friends who aren't appreciative of your efforts, dial back what you do for them. Some people are just greedy takers. Walk away from them or at least stop giving 100% When you love & respect yourself, it's easier to command both from other people. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 You need to get this all out of you in therapy. It's poisoning you. And since that kind of bad people is what raised you, it's what you're used to. It's the type people you have the skills (and therefore a certain degree of comfort) in dealing with, so you do attract and do gravitate to them because they are known entities. You recognize them as familiar. That's why you need to start sorting it out in therapy. You've got to get very educated on what's going on with all that so you can learn to recognize it and choose to stop it. If that crap was going on with me, I'd be a cabin the woods kind of gal! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted November 16, 2019 Share Posted November 16, 2019 Hey there wtm….hang in there buddy....kids don't have to be a product of their environment, but it's hard for them not to be....you were mistreated in your early years and given many messages that you were not good enough for _________ (fill in the blank). Not good enough to use good toilet paper.....how sad is that? Understand why you feel the way you do! There's some things that need "undoing" in your life....and it CAN BE undone. That's what. One of the first exercises for you to get into is some positive self talk. Tell yourself you ARE worthy. Tell yourself you DO deserve better. Tell yourself you do NOT have to be mistreated. Time to assert yourself. If your wife won't like that it's too bad. From what you've written she's awful. You're a good person. You deserve to be treated well. I concur you DO deserve so much better!! Link to post Share on other sites
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