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What's the right thing to do when dealing with an ex?


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Politeorharsh

here it goes....broke up with a long term relationship partner only 8 weeks ago. We had an intense relationship. I left him a few times over the years but always came back after a short time period based on his promise to "change" (i.e., not misleading me) and while that worked for a while, eventually he went back to his old ways. Despite this, I never wanted to give up b/c I loved him (don't believe I do anymore though).

 

He has attempted to reach me via text, etc. (no calls thankfully) and I didn't reply until the other day - told him I'm out of town but would get in touch. Well that a week ago and I haven't. He wants to just catch up and claims it isn't to get back together. However, he wants to do so in my home, which if I met him at all, wouldn't happen (for obvious reasons).

I feel bad if I tell him I won't see him now especially b/c his sister in law is an old friend of mine.

What do I do?

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If you're done, you need to tell him you're breaking it off with him and do no contact and mean it. If you are going to keep going back, then don't bother, of course. You'll need to steer clear of his relatives or you'll never get separation, and it's only polite.

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If it's over you are under no obligation to continue speaking to him. Your pattern to date has been a break up make up cycle so he thinks that will happen again.

 

If you randomly bump into him be civil -- tight lipped smile & a hello then you move along -- but there is no reason to talk on the phone or text. There is no reason to have him in your home.

 

Once you break up it's like you don't know him any more.

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What do I do?

 

As others have said - block, ignore and move on.

 

Look at it this way, you're not being fair to him. Any contact just feeds his hope you'll get back together, so you're effectively leading him on by staying in touch. Doesn't benefit either of you...

 

Mr. Lucky

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