Will I get fired?

[Lurve]

Maybe they’d rather have her represent them at these high visibility events even though you pushed for them at a later date? You say you’re equals but maybe they don’t see it that way.

 

I’m wondering how it has affected your salary by them flying you on coach as opposed to business class?

 

Also, if she’s more experienced at attending these events because she’s pushed to be there that just makes it more obvious that she’d be the one to send first.

 

I’m not really seeing favoritism as much as I’m seeing sound business decisions being made. Maybe you’re just taking it personally when it’s really just business?

 

 

The problem is that my boss is always telling me that peer and me are equals. All the time. That there is not a single thing in our performance (including communication skills) that makes her better. Yet actions show otherwise. I just want honesty. I can't trusts thing my boss says. If I had honest assessment, I would know what areas I need to work on.

 

 

Seriously have you ever been employed? Of course one team member flying business and another flying coach shows favoritism (if team members are of equal rank). It has nothing to do with my salary so I'm confused how it's relevant.

Edited November 17, 2019 by Lurve

[amaysngrace]

Maybe your boss tells you that you’re equals as far as position, salary, title, etc but performance-wise she outshines you.

 

I don’t know why you need to be told that, your boss’s actions speak for themselves.

 

My point about what class you fly affecting your salary was that if it hasn't lost you any money then what’s the big deal? You’re being a complainer imo. Somebody favors her more, so what? As long as they aren’t paying her more for the same work then you really just need to suck it up.

 

Boss clicks with her. And now, after the actions you’ve taken by not taking it up with your boss directly and going over their head instead, I’d say they have good judgment. You want honesty and transparency and whatever you want but you don’t give the same. Going to a higher up without first taking it up with them is very unprofessional.

 

And yes, I’ve ever been employed.

[Lurve]

Maybe your boss tells you that you’re equals as far as position, salary, title, etc but performance-wise she outshines you.

 

I don’t know why you need to be told that, your boss’s actions speak for themselves.

 

My point about what class you fly affecting your salary was that if it hasn't lost you any money then what’s the big deal? You’re being a complainer imo. Somebody favors her more, so what? As long as they aren’t paying her more for the same work then you really just need to suck it up.

 

Boss clicks with her. And now, after the actions you’ve taken by not taking it up with your boss directly and going over their head instead, I’d say they have good judgment. You want honesty and transparency and whatever you want but you don’t give the same. Going to a higher up without first taking it up with them is very unprofessional.

 

And yes, I’ve ever been employed.

 

 

I have taken it up with my boss many, many times. Nothing was done. The whole team was turning into a circus, everyone gossiping and complaining about boss favouring particular peer. Boss was just sitting there laughing, thinking nothing can touch him. Nobody was productive. I had to step in and escalate even if it meant risking my job.

 

Boss was also CCed into the email, nothing was done behind his back.

[Lurve]

So I had a long meeting with my boss and his boss ("big boss"). I'm stunned how professional "big boss" is (in stark contrast to my boss). Big boss had noticed conflict in the team and basically told me that it was brave of me to bring this to light.

 

He told me that I'm highly valued in the company and he has only ever heard positive things about me. That he sees a long, bright future in the company for me. He also gave me general advice in writing emails, to wait 24 hours to send an email and see if it still sounds good (in reference to being emotional). He also said that without emotion there is no passion and not to think of emotional as negative.

 

 

Some of the outcomes are that now the entire team can fly business class! I'm moving to a nicer office away from my boss and the peer. Whole team got a gist of what happened and thanked me for standing up for what's right.

 

The bad news is that my boss is still my boss and now hates me. However, he is now closely watched by "big boss". Big boss also told me to come and talk to him anytime there are problems.

 

Do I still need to frantically search for jobs?

[Mr. Lucky]

The bad news is that my boss is still my boss and now hates me.

 

What, other than speculation, makes you say this?

 

Mr. Lucky

[stillafool]

 

Do I still need to frantically search for jobs?

 

How would we know? Do you feel secure?

 

Just remember where ever you work there are always going to be those that get favored because of their personality, even looks, even though their work performance is on the same scale as yours. It's just life and some people are lucky that way.

[Happy Lemming]

Do I still need to frantically search for jobs?

 

I would (if I was you)...

 

I wouldn't take a HUGE pay cut, but if I could find something of similar pay; yes, I would change jobs.

 

Your direct supervisor/boss still holds animosity towards you and/or dislikes you. There is no way to repair this.

 

As as side note, when you leave ask "Big Boss" for formal letter of recommendation, so future employers won't have to contact that company for work history, recommendation, etc.

[vla1120]

OP, the only way to guarantee 100% that you are never in a position like this is to work for yourself. Otherwise, every job you ever have will have someone with whom you disagree in some way, or some workplace policy you do not like because life isn't always fair.

 

While it seems like everything might have worked out (new office, business class for everyone, etc.), I would be cautious since you now have a disgruntled boss who might try to make your life difficult (but I guarantee HE won't put any of it in writing.)

 

My policy is to #1 - never put anything in writing, and #2 - go right to the source (your boss) when I have a complaint. I would only consider moving up the chain of command if it is an issue that interferes with company business/profit. As a rule of thumb, I just don't say anything about favoritism, or personnel issues because, no matter where you work, you're likely to run across these issues, and complaining about them can often backfire on you. If the issues is bad enough that I cannot tolerate it, I get another job.

[divegrl]

Hi,

 

The result you describe is actually very rare. Companies will, almost always, stand up for management. Your boss’s boss is actually stepping all over your boss’s boundaries and scope of responsibility. That paired with, the already existing situation with your boss and your peer makes this a very toxic situation.

 

You have brought up the situation, you have a positive feedback. Now it’s time to stay low and fly under the radar. Get your job done well. And I would be looking to transfer departments or for another job. Now your boss will resent you, so there is no possibility of promotion. And what happens if the big boss leaves?

 

I would work out an exit plan ASAP.

 

Have a beautiful day my friend.

[Lurve]

This is true - I can't see my current boss standing up for me or saying anything positive. When it comes to commenting on my performance or my pay - he will make subtle digs. Maybe not at first, maybe not super obviously but it will be there.

 

 

 

On the other hand, I earn good salary and benefits and even if there is no career progression and there was peace, I think I could be OK.

[Lurve]

Hi,

 

The result you describe is actually very rare. Companies will, almost always, stand up for management. Your boss’s boss is actually stepping all over your boss’s boundaries and scope of responsibility. That paired with, the already existing situation with your boss and your peer makes this a very toxic situation.

 

You have brought up the situation, you have a positive feedback. Now it’s time to stay low and fly under the radar. Get your job done well. And I would be looking to transfer departments or for another job. Now your boss will resent you, so there is no possibility of promotion. And what happens if the big boss leaves?

 

I would work out an exit plan ASAP.

 

Have a beautiful day my friend.

 

 

My boss has no idea how to manage. He gossips constantly and used to complain about other direct reports to me and vice versa. Agrees with everyone 1-1 but then says differently behind our backs. He never actually talks about work. Today, I have had the first ever meeting where we actually talked about projects. My hope is that big boss will see this and remove him from the position.

 

I actually feel bad about leaving after big boss stood up for me and invested so much time in this situation. From now on, I'm laying very low, doing my job and wearing my headphones all day.

Edited November 19, 2019 by Lurve

[schlumpy]

As as side note, when you leave ask "Big Boss" for formal letter of recommendation, so future employers won't have to contact that company for work history, recommendation, etc.

 

Very good advice.

[Lurve]

A brief update. Nothing much happened, things went back to normal. My boss seemed down and stressed for about a week but it went away. Big boss was going to have a meeting with me, my boss and peer together but he has postponed it to January apologizing and saying that he is extremely stressed and busy this month. He asked me if this is OK with me and I said yes (what else can I say and that conversation is not going to change anything anyway).

 

My boss is having a Christmas party at his home in a few days. Less than 10 of us are invited and invites went out way before all this happened. I'm going to cancel saying that I have another commitment. I don't think I can smile and pretend like everything is fine.

 

Meanwhile, I'm looking for another job.