Does a man with two partners ever work?

[Els]

 

Poly doesn't necessarily mean having sex with people outside your home. I guess it does for some people, but that's not my thing. Which is why the relationship between W1 and W2 is an absolute must. Poly-fidelity is a way of having your cake and eating it too, but it is kind of a "golden unicorn" scenario that is pretty much unachievable outside of a faith that supports it.

 

 

 

You have sex with your two girlfriends, and they don't have sex with your husband, no? That's pretty much what I mean.

[MJJean]

To be fair, some women are just wired to be poly. But that does mean that they also want to have sex with other people (men or women depending on their preferences), which I doubt the OP will be particularly chuffed with...

 

Either that, or the women get some of their 100% from other partners. Even though my husband is amazing, there's just some things that a female partner is better equipped to deal with. Having awesome female partners really makes life amazing.

 

Well, ladies, I believe others have mentioned the women in this scenario may also want to have multiple partners if they agree to some kind of poly arrangement and OP hasn't said a peep about his thoughts on that. I highly suspect he's like many men who would be fine with an additional female, but not so much an additional male. Since there has been no mention of either woman having same-sex attraction, I do wonder if he's thought this through in the "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" way.

[major_merrick]

You have sex with your two girlfriends, and they don't have sex with your husband, no? That's pretty much what I mean.

Yeah, an arrangement like that is possible. My husband is still very close with them. They are kind of like sisters to him. We all sleep together in the same bed, my GFs are just on another side of the bed. If they were strangers to him or acquaintances and lived in a different house, I don't think that would work well. In my opinion, for a poly relationship to work, there has to be an emotional attachment between everybody involved even if a sexual bond doesn't occur.

 

 

I highly suspect he's like many men who would be fine with an additional female, but not so much an additional male. Since there has been no mention of either woman having same-sex attraction, I do wonder if he's thought this through in the "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" way.

I don't know any man who would be fine with an additional male in the picture. And I personally wouldn't be with any woman who was having sex with a man who wasn't my husband. Others may disagree, and I'll freely admit that I dislike men in general and I am quite territorial. Adding other women to the picture is easy, with the caveat that they need to really like each other or be in love or sexually attracted. If not, jealousy is guaranteed.

[Amethyst68]

I'm not poly by nature but I could never enter into a relationship which was not equal. So if I were either W1 or W2 I would fully expect the option of bringing in a M2 into the relationship.

[Lotsgoingon]

I'm going to go narrow here.

 

You write of Woman #2: Most importantly, I find my life purpose of being her pillar of financial and emotional support.

 

Reconsider that one. I have NEVER found that to work. What, you're her hero, her savior? The savior/hero stuff just so easily backfires. You end up thinking that you're helping this other person ... Other person may or may not love your help ... and they might love your help AND ... not be that into you ... and be unsatisfied with the relationship.

 

Heroes can easily end up neglecting their own needs and desires because they are getting such a high off of being the hero. Ultimately, the hero can feel betrayed and furious when the damsel in distress isn't all that grateful. I've seen that plot play out many many times.