What is going on with her at work?

[LuckyM]

So the lady where I do business for 20 years left the job. Having known her for so long, I wrote to her on facebook (but I have no photo or correct last name) and told her who I was and asked about her. She wrote back and told me where she is working now and invited me to see her soon. (I thought she is single like me but she is married.) Her messages were SO nice and welcoming, I was very surprised because we never talked much, and only business. No romantic gestures or looks at all. I thought of her as a sharp business woman, though she's attractive but not my type. She is 20 years younger anyway. She said how glad she is I wrote and how much she enjoys knowing me. Because I am lonely and want to take every opportunity, I tell her when I am coming.

Suddenly, she is surprised to see me! She acted like she didn't know I was coming and nothing about FB. "What brings you here?" she says. I asked her if she expecting someone else. I really thought she was pulling my leg, a joke. We've known each other for over 20 years, mostly by name. So then she says she wants my business account..though she doesn't need it. Also, she is wearing a very bright jacket and showing cleavage, so very unlike her.

I said I thought you invited me here for another reason. (At least we would have coffee). After a short while I left and will not return. Come back again, she says. I was so embarrassed. Did she mistake me for someone else with same name? Or was she overly nice just for appearances?

 

sign me Confused.

Edited November 16, 2019 by LuckyM
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[preraph]

She'd just left her job. Her mind is on her new job and whether she'll have business and not on romance with an ex-business associate. She is married. I'm afraid you really jumped to conclusions.

 

You know, when you leave a job, a lot of friends from the job and associated with the job also just abandon you. That's why she was glad someone wasn't just blowing her off because she was gone. Business friendships are really rarely very genuine, especially if one side is soliciting you as a client. They always act nice and solicitous.

 

She was nice because she wants your business, same reason she was nice at the old job. Sorry, but that's it.

[Mr. Lucky]

sign me Confused.

 

Actually, I’m confused. Had she reciprocated your interest, you’re willing to pursue a relationship with a married woman ?

 

Mr. Lucky

[LuckyM]

Thanks, Preraph...who else has a clue what she was thinking? It was so awkward for me and I imagined another scenario---a longshot, surely.. if I knew she is married, I would have merely said hello.

 

I actually thought she was expecting someone else...she always dresses conservatively and discreetly in dark colors..this time she was wearing bright red and showing cleavage...not for me, of course. My going out with SF days are long over.

[Grumpybutfun]

Your preoccupation with her modesty, or lack thereof is creepy. She is a businesswoman who was being courteous. If you took it as something else, that’s on you, not her. If she doesn’t recognize you, it’s because she deals with hundreds of people a week. I’m a troubleshooter and visit the same places over and over for years. I can assure you I remember very few of them.

Also, she’s married. Appreciate her professionalism and kindness and stop letting your ego create dissonance where there is none.

Best,

G

[preraph]

Well, we've all misread signs before, especially if we had our eye on the person. Every one of us. (And we've all been shot down for it too!) Not fun.