Women making the first move (on men)

[chillii]

Well seems as 99% of the thread seems to be just on looks , as with most of the threads round here which personally l just find so damn weird.

l dunno if l'm wrong but it's like the only thing crosses most guys minds round here is looks, it's like if she's good lookin , that's it, we're done. l never get it.

Butttt, it's always been , the not so good lookin ones are always the ones making a move, l don't really get what the surprise is there either it's a no brainer really.

And they can be very very cheeky too shooting way above their league , though l can't stand that term but it's the only way l can think to put it.

[Mysterio]

Where do we draw the line with looks? What is a 6/7/8/9/10 in looks?

 

I can't figure it out.

[Ellener]

' What is a 6/7/8/9/10 in looks?'

 

yes, tell me too. I just thought that was a joke phrase in movies/ songs etc!

[elaine567]

5 is average and 10 is having outstanding good looks ie film star quality.

 

But it seems to me it is all very subjective and a 6 to one person may be a 10 or even a 3 to another.

Objectively I guess most people are actually 5s ie average, but as that will reflect badly, then "everyone" on here seem to be dating or sleeping with at least a 7...

I guess if we were to actually meet those "above average" people IRL we would be pretty unimpressed...

[nospam99]

Where do we draw the line with looks? What is a 6/7/8/9/10 in looks?

 

I can't figure it out.

 

Disclaimer (because my answer to the question hinges on sexual attraction): For me, sex is the 'icing on the cake'. I want a relationship that includes sex rather than sex without a relationship.

 

I recently posted what I thought was a pithy non-numeric looks scale with something like six categories. I don't see that post 'around' any more so I guess it was deleted by the mods - 'too pithy' perhaps. To attempt to answer the question, I draw the line at whether she is physically attractive enough that I would be 'aroused' at the idea of having sex with her. I observe that almost all of the unsolicited contacts I receive on OLD are from women whose profiles make them appear to be 'below the line'.

[alphamale]

In ancient times (2004), ~2 women did approach me first. I wasn't smart enough to respond to their advances back in those days and regret it. I am more educated now in the unspoken ways of dating. If I knew what I know now I probably would be happily married with a kid, but you live and learn.

 

life is a learning process Garcon1986

[mark clemson]

@Ellener, I agree that the 1-10 scale is superficial and subjective. It is, however, convenient shorthand for describing looks. As you already know, 6-8's are "ok to pretty good" and 9-10's are "great looking".

 

I don't think I can define it precisely, nor would I see that as a particularly valuable goal/use of time. It is very subjective, and some would incorporate personality as a factor while some would keep it purely looks, etc.

 

 

@alphamale, not sure I make much distinction between 6-7's, for me it's not really a very clear distinction anyhow.

[alphamale]

@alphamale, not sure I make much distinction between 6-7's, for me it's not really a very clear distinction anyhow.

 

7's are just 6's that are good in the sack

[Envy123]

l dunno if l'm wrong but it's like the only thing crosses most guys minds round here is looks, it's like if she's good lookin , that's it, we're done. l never get it.

 

I have been bullied by some conventionally attractive women in the past, so I can't help being wary of them unless they prove themselves to be a good friend at the very least.

[mark clemson]

l dunno if l'm wrong but it's like the only thing crosses most guys minds round here is looks, it's like if she's good lookin , that's it, we're done. l never get it.

Butttt, it's always been , the not so good lookin ones are always the ones making a move, l don't really get what the surprise is there either it's a no brainer really.

And they can be very very cheeky too shooting way above their league , though l can't stand that term but it's the only way l can think to put it.

 

 

On the first para, speaking for me I'd say looks is only one of several factors, esp. when it comes to LTRs.

 

The 2nd two paras - definitely my experience too that they come on stronger. And agree it's not super surprising.

[Mysterio]

My take on looks.

 

A 5 and below are people that are not on your radar. To me there is no 1 yo 5 in looks.

 

So everyones looks is between 6 to 10.

 

For a man to be a 9-10 there has to be an Olympic level athlete to his look.

7-8 well groomed and fit.

6 just basic and not doing anything to enhence your look.

 

You can apply the same to women as well.

 

No matter what the body is like. I am all about face more than anything. I have stated this before. I would rather have a little bit of a heavy set women with a great looking face over a woman whos face I am not into.

 

Looking to my own life. All the women that came to me, in my head. They all seem to be still lookers, when I run into them. As I am growing older. I find myself wanting to do all the work in getting to know women in a romantic context. Most of my male friends with their SO. The women did most of the start up interactions towards them romantically. My Male friends just let it happen.

[alphamale]

that's sort of simplistic isn't it Mysterio?

[Metsgal]

I don't EVER show interest in men or am I going to make the first move. Like others have said, unless I was some "hot Instagram model" with big boobs I don't have that privilege, if a woman is just average looking it ain't gonna happen, I just have to sit back and wait.

[thefooloftheyear]

I don't EVER show interest in men or am I going to make the first move. Like others have said, unless I was some "hot Instagram model" with big boobs I don't have that privilege, if a woman is just average looking it ain't gonna happen, I just have to sit back and wait.

 

You sound like the one legged guy in the ass kicking contest....

 

Think about it....The hottie with the big tits doesn't need to pursue because she has that advantage...If you don't consider yourself the type that draws a lot of initial male attention by way of looks, then its almost mandatory that you should pursue...Id imagine it may result in more rejection than you desire, but at least you will be taking your swings at the plate...to use a baseball metaphor,,

 

TFY

[basil67]

I don't EVER show interest in men or am I going to make the first move. Like others have said, unless I was some "hot Instagram model" with big boobs I don't have that privilege, if a woman is just average looking it ain't gonna happen, I just have to sit back and wait.

 

No, it's not about looks or about gender. It doesn't happen for you because you don't take enough risks.

 

I'm not a stunner....I never was. But I have a ready smile, can make small talk and back in the day, I could be pretty sexy. I most certainly have been able to successfully make first moves on men. There's also been unsuccessful first moves too, but I just picked myself up, dusted myself off and got on with it.

Edited December 1, 2019 by basil67

[ajequals]

My take on looks.

 

A 5 and below are people that are not on your radar. To me there is no 1 yo 5 in looks.

 

So everyones looks is between 6 to 10.

 

For a man to be a 9-10 there has to be an Olympic level athlete to his look.

7-8 well groomed and fit.

6 just basic and not doing anything to enhence your look.

 

You can apply the same to women as well.

 

No matter what the body is like. I am all about face more than anything. I have stated this before. I would rather have a little bit of a heavy set women with a great looking face over a woman whos face I am not into.

 

Looking to my own life. All the women that came to me, in my head. They all seem to be still lookers, when I run into them. As I am growing older. I find myself wanting to do all the work in getting to know women in a romantic context. Most of my male friends with their SO. The women did most of the start up interactions towards them romantically. My Male friends just let it happen.

So It's all about the looks. their character is not even on the radar? sounds like there is going to be many relationships in your life. Looks should never matter as much as a persons character

[chillii]

No, it's not about looks or about gender. It doesn't happen for you because you don't take enough risks.

 

I'm not a stunner....I never was. But I have a ready smile, can make small talk and back in the day, I could be pretty sexy. I most certainly have been able to successfully make first moves on men. There's also been unsuccessful first moves too, but I just picked myself up, dusted myself off and got on with it.

 

 

 

 

Yeah and good for you and there ya go see, l mean we all go through crap and cop some kicking on the way. But l often think things like this stuff are the real difference in most of us no matter who we are, and a lot of the single threads around.

So many of them seem closed and refuse to get a bit creative and out there again like everyone else has to but instead just tap away at how unfair the world is.

Edited December 1, 2019 by chillii

[Envy123]

I don't EVER show interest in men or am I going to make the first move. Like others have said, unless I was some "hot Instagram model" with big boobs I don't have that privilege, if a woman is just average looking it ain't gonna happen, I just have to sit back and wait.

 

It was possible that I let some women go, because I couldn't tell if they were just being friendly or wanted something more than that.

 

Some people may call me shallow for going with the "blogger model" type, but they were always more upfront about their intentions with me and there's less risk in the initial stages.

 

Now, only one was bold to ask me out but others showed interest by steadily ramping up the contact, giving me their number and so on. That's something I can work with, as opposed to just talking to me every day and doing nothing else, or even worse, doing nothing at all.