Author SumGuy Posted November 28, 2019 Author Share Posted November 28, 2019 .... Replacing all of that with just sex would feel very one-dimensional and unsatisfying to both of us, especially as all of that is part of our attraction to each other. No offense to anyone who literally does nothing but sex with their partner, but to me that is not a "relationship" that I have any interest in partaking in. As said before in all my relationships we did all that other stuff as well. Far from nothing but sex. There’s hobbies, going out, sitting in, travel, talk and such, hence the little break down of my day to illustrate how much time remains. It’s not an either or. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 (edited) As said before in all my relationships we did all that other stuff as well. Far from nothing but sex. There’s hobbies, going out, sitting in, travel, talk and such, hence the little break down of my day to illustrate how much time remains. It’s not an either or. Sorry, but I don't really see how that's possible unless you have a completely ideal life. It just doesn't compute. I mean: My typical weekday is work (hours 8) + chores (2 hours) + work out (1 hour) + sleep (8 hours) = 19 hours so still have 5 hours to do whatever..which often includes an hour of reading. In that 5 hours you haven't included shower/grooming/dressing for work, commuting to work, getting dinner ready, and eating. For most people that all takes at least 2 hours all included, and that's assuming a fairly short commute. That leaves 3 hours for ALL leisure activity, and if 2.4 hrs is for sex, you have 0.6 hrs left for doing everything else with your spouse + personal hobbies + downtime. And that's assuming you have zero other obligations and NEVER do a single minute of overtime... Edited November 29, 2019 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 I don't think so, but everyone is different. Good sex will keep me coming back for good sex, but that's it. In many cases, if other aspects of her are 'off' then even good sex won't have me running for the hills eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 It's enough for a while, if there aren't other serious negatives. However, I do believe you can have it all (or close enough that it doesn't matter), so eventually I'll look for someone who meets ALL my needs (including great sex) more than adequately. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted November 30, 2019 Share Posted November 30, 2019 I'm highly sexual as well, but I need the whole enchilada. I've reached the point in my life where I can read a man well enough upfront to know if we're going to meet my high standard for sex. So in both my last relationship and my new relationship, the sex is through the roof. I agonized over leaving my ex because the sex was amazing, the best of my life up to that point, but there were other major issues. Now that I've moved on, I'm delighted to find that my sex life with my new man is better still, and on top of that all the logistical pieces are aligned and we have great chemistry on all levels. Now I understand that "best sex ever" is about me being solid in myself, having learned to choose better - and for me, the connection on all the other levels only intensifies the sexual fireworks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SumGuy Posted December 11, 2019 Author Share Posted December 11, 2019 I agree with the +2, do believe you can have it all and when you have all the other stuff it makes the sex much, much better, at least for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SumGuy Posted December 11, 2019 Author Share Posted December 11, 2019 On 11/29/2019 at 12:16 PM, Elswyth said: Sorry, but I don't really see how that's possible unless you have a completely ideal life. It just doesn't compute. I mean: In that 5 hours you haven't included shower/grooming/dressing for work, commuting to work, getting dinner ready, and eating. For most people that all takes at least 2 hours all included, and that's assuming a fairly short commute. That leaves 3 hours for ALL leisure activity, and if 2.4 hrs is for sex, you have 0.6 hrs left for doing everything else with your spouse + personal hobbies + downtime. And that's assuming you have zero other obligations and NEVER do a single minute of overtime... Actually all that other stuff I include in “chores” and averaging it out. It really only takes me 10-20 minutes max to get ready in the morning even with leisurely shower and shave. If rushed can do it in 5 min. I clean while I cook, a wiz at cold prep and have perfected cooking ahead, crock pots, etc. Cooking is down time for me. Go more all out on meals on the weekends. Don’t have a spouse but when have been in serious relationships spending time doing “chores” together is time together, at least for us doing the “mundane” together is far from mundane. My commute is nothing, overtime all the time and never, I’m the owner/boss and run things very, very efficiently so 8 hours is all in for my typical work day. Even when I worked for others and commuted, would take public transit and use the commute time to work or for my downtime (e.g. read, plan things, etc.). I will admit then that I tended to get at most 7 hours of sleep weeknights. All I can say is I do seem to have such time for sex and life. I tend to do my hobbies only on the weekends though. Link to post Share on other sites
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