catherine1 Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 looking forward to your 83rd post with much glee Thanks man ? Link to post Share on other sites
catherine1 Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 Cute, that’s really enlightening... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 Ew, old guy giving the “wink” emoji. Gross. Quit stalking me catherine, my heart belongs to another ;) ... Mr. Lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 (edited) ...My question is to more see how others view it, and even if this is not a great representative sample for gauging her mind it is helpful...and an interesting topic. Maybe a better question, since I think everyone says it is not enough, is how long do you give it and how do you end it? Absolutely. Great topic, and I agree. How long is hard to say. Obviously, I went to an extreme, but that's because I was part of that "Good time". BUT... if you two aren't that far apart on political, social, and family... then you may have the start of something real. I have some very odd hobbies and interests... and I honestly don't expect too many women I meet will be interested in them. (R/C airplanes, and retro video games) But having separate interests can be good too. That will give you some down time, away from your SO. I personally love to go to my flying club when the weather is nice... turn off my brain... and BS with the guys. With my ex... there were a few things that I wish she would have enjoyed... like my motorcycles, or off-roading... but it was never a deal breaker. Those things just let us have some time apart. Although... strangely enough... I was blamed that we never did anything apart. Sorry... I was just sitting her thinking about that. AND... how it was just another excuse for her to leave our family. (wonder when I will learn the real reason?) Edited November 18, 2019 by Blind-Sided Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Even for me, it isn't enough. It takes more than being willing to bang the blonde to make a great relationship. I might stick around for good sex if I can't find what I'm looking for, but when something closer to my ideal comes along, I'm done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SumGuy Posted November 20, 2019 Author Share Posted November 20, 2019 Yes, I’m thinking best though to break it off before someone more ideal has come along. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 I will stick around for mind blowing sex until it stops being mind blowing. Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Never. The sex is never great for me unless I have some kind of emotional connection that can be achieved my intellect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 as long as I nut I don't care about anything else Link to post Share on other sites
Author SumGuy Posted November 20, 2019 Author Share Posted November 20, 2019 I’m not worried about getting nut (hope using that correctly). Frankly pretty easy it seems, so a low bar. Don’t get me wrong I’ve got a hedonistic streak, but I only do exclusivity. So if with her means I won’t be looking for the woman who is a complete package to me. Yep, looking for that heart of gold, luckily not yet getting old. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Ew, old guy giving the “wink” emoji. Gross. They don’t call him Mr. Lucky for nothing! G 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RedBaron2765 Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 I was in a relationship like that almost 20 years ago. Lots of great sex, and she turned me on tremendously. I also came to a realization that it couldn't last (she lived 100 miles away, had three kids, and had some issues). I missed the sex, but I did dodge a bullet. That said, I did have feelings for her, but it would never have worked out long-term. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 Lol, of course not. No matter how prolific you are at it, you can't possibly spend more than 10% of your day having sex. What happens to the other 90%? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 What happens to the other 90%? Thinking about sex ? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SumGuy Posted November 21, 2019 Author Share Posted November 21, 2019 Lol, of course not. No matter how prolific you are at it, you can't possibly spend more than 10% of your day having sex. What happens to the other 90%? If by 10% you mean 2.4 hours, actually yes do spend more than 10% of the day the days we do. You don't even want to know what a weekend looks like for me dedicated to the more carnal pleasures. I'll just say at some point past an hour hour and a half of erotic enjoyment new vistas open up, it's like this hidden plateau. Being a STEM guy with often STEM girlfriends could go on about the biochemistry likely involved in it, but all that Tantric and other stuff is not BS. I get your point though and I'm in full agreement. What happens the rest of the day is important to me to, not just going out for dinner, drinks, movies, events and the like, but also conversation and hygge, and making. In a way I'm kind of semi-retired so a partner to adventure, build and explore things with is important to me. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 If by 10% you mean 2.4 hours, actually yes do spend more than 10% of the day the days we do. You don't even want to know what a weekend looks like for me dedicated to the more carnal pleasures. My FWB that I mentioned earlier - we usually got started around 8 pm, and often well past midnight before we stepped out to the porch for a smoke break and some water - at times getting back at it will the sun rose. We as a couple were still not relationship material. Luckily my husband and I have much of the same chemistry - after our second date he missed work and l missed an exam because we were still F'ing come morning. I have spent around 7,000 days living with my husband. Marathons are now more of an occasional treat, but we still have sex regularly and it's still amazing. But no - after all of these years, all of the shared life, it's all the other things that bind us, because well, amazing sex - I know you can find that other places. What I know of can't find elsewhere is a connection like this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 If by 10% you mean 2.4 hours, actually yes do spend more than 10% of the day the days we do. You don't even want to know what a weekend looks like for me dedicated to the more carnal pleasures. No, I meant in total or on average. If you genuinely spend 2.4 hrs every single day having sex, more power to you, but I'm guessing the vast majority of people don't have that much time! (We certainly have taken that long before, but it's hardly a regular thing...) Link to post Share on other sites
Author SumGuy Posted November 25, 2019 Author Share Posted November 25, 2019 (edited) No, I meant in total or on average. If you genuinely spend 2.4 hrs every single day having sex, more power to you, but I'm guessing the vast majority of people don't have that much time! (We certainly have taken that long before, but it's hardly a regular thing...) . I see. Normally no as on average have about 8-12 hours of sex a week. However when living with someone yes, as then it is more 12-20 hours a week. Even then I’ve never seemed to feel it was hard to make the time. I realize there is a bit of selection going on here as the women who connect with me also like the higher amount and often comment on their appreciation of my interest and enthusiasm. I also realize that sex is really cutting in to my TV show time . Edited November 25, 2019 by SumGuy Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 Heck, I don't even watch TV yet I don't have time for 20 hours a week of sex. And truthfully - at time point in the game I have no interest in 20 hours a week of sex. Curious OP, how long has your longest relationship been? Have you lived with a woman for a good number of years and kept the 20 hours a week thing up over time? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 25, 2019 Share Posted November 25, 2019 I also realize that sex is really cutting in to my TV show time . TV? Heck, you've made it into a part-time job. Wouldn't work for me but more power to you... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SumGuy Posted November 27, 2019 Author Share Posted November 27, 2019 Heck, I don't even watch TV yet I don't have time for 20 hours a week of sex. And truthfully - at time point in the game I have no interest in 20 hours a week of sex. Curious OP, how long has your longest relationship been? Have you lived with a woman for a good number of years and kept the 20 hours a week thing up over time? Yah I always wonder when people say they have no time for this or that. Had to help people with this over my decades. If you honestly track your time during the day you'd be amazed how much is given to friction or frittering it away. I go with TV as that is how most waste their time in the past, these days I suspect it is social media consuming hours a day. Like this site I only check on my phone when in a situation like waiting or the kids, or in line somewhere, etc. after taking care of e-mail and such. I am lucky that these days I only need to spend about 40 hours a week dedicated to my day job and have next to zero commute. My typical weekday is work (hours 8) + chores (2 hours) + work out (1 hour) + sleep (8 hours) = 19 hours so still have 5 hours to do whatever..which often includes an hour of reading. In any event longest relationship was 20 years, marriage, we kept it up for about 5 years but there were other reasons besides time that brought an end to that. First LTR was 2 years, we kept it up and likely far exceeded that. Then have had another 2 year relationship where we pretty much did (more 14-20 hours), and a 2+ year relationship (20 hours the first year and a half, but more 12 hours the last 6 months because of some very major life stuff on her end that took her away a lot of weekends). I can say in every case it never got "old," but it's not like we got in ruts always learning and always attentive. The sex never got less because of time constraints. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 Okay, how about I have absolutely no interest in having sex 20 hours a week for decades on end. Luckily for me, neither does my husband, nor have I ever met a man that wants his genitals stimulated a thousand hours a year. I am surprised you have found multiple women who are compatible with you and do want a thousand hours a year of sex. My schedule typically goes like this: 5:30 am wake up 6:50 am catch a train 8 am 6ish pm work ( with a noon time run for exercise) 6 to 7 something commute. 7 something till 8/9 - ride my horse / work with trainer (I complete) 9+ pm go home cook dinner / eat with husband 10+ till 11+ unwind, relax, read, maybe sex before bed If I got rid of the riding hobby I guess I could take up sex as hobby instead. So for YOU being as sex is such a huge part of your life, perhaps sex is enough to make a relationship work - as long as sex is also the top priority for your partner. For most of us it wouldn't work, but most of us have no interest in 20 hours a week of sex. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 If I got rid of the riding hobby I guess I could take up sex as hobby instead. I think a lot of the techniques are the same. Both usually come down to "grab something and hold on" ... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 So for YOU being as sex is such a huge part of your life, perhaps sex is enough to make a relationship work - as long as sex is also the top priority for your partner. For most of us it wouldn't work, but most of us have no interest in 20 hours a week of sex. For real. I mean, EVEN if H scaled his career down to the extent that it was technically possible, we just don't see any point in it. We enjoy doing so many other things together - we travel, look for hole-in-the-wall places to eat, play card/board/video games, just sit around talking or cuddling for hours on end, do craft projects, go to the theatre/museum/park/beach, hang out with friends, etc. And that's just our mutual hobbies, not our solo ones! Replacing all of that with just sex would feel very one-dimensional and unsatisfying to both of us, especially as all of that is part of our attraction to each other. No offense to anyone who literally does nothing but sex with their partner, but to me that is not a "relationship" that I have any interest in partaking in. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SumGuy Posted November 28, 2019 Author Share Posted November 28, 2019 I guess I have been lucky, it has never been hard for me to find a partner interested in a fair amount of sex. Note 20 hours is the upper limit these days, more like 14 but realize that is more than someone may want. I will admit if it was anything like commonly described sex wouldn’t be so interested either, also there is a level of experience just don’t reach (at least in my and my partner’s experience) until after half hour in so to speak. Will admit that about half of a 2 hours is foreplay/afterplay, about once week that foreplay includes a real massage. Yes I’m trying to sell the benefits of lots of sex . Caveat: in a committed relationship, just doesn’t really get there for me without the committed part. Anyway time to baste then make the garlic mashed potatoes, happy Thanksgiving to all those in the USA Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts