Life is such a bloody battle field?

[chillii]

wth does he's looks have to do with anything .

Anyway , unfortunately people choose people for all kinds of reasons in business, quals' aren't everything, personality, attitudes , their way about them , or the person they chose did a serious number on them sucking up , all kinds of crap come into it.

l work for myself have for years but back in my 20s l worked for a few companies , and the competing thing drove me effg mad, couldn't believe it . l didn't giva shyt about any of it l knew l wasn't sticking around but other workers were still competing at me on every turn, and sucking up to bosses and crap, not my thing.

One thing l noticed though , if a boss just liked someone , that was that , nothin else came into it. l remember one chose one of the guys as some kind of personal assistant , he was the most useless guy there. hopeless and pretty slow too.

But they got along soooo, next minute he's gets promoted to driving round to all the sites all day with the boss, just so the boss has someone to talk to and smoke dope with , and hide out in pubs drinking half the day together, they were always turning up on a site straight from the pub.

She probly did a number on the boss

This guy was so useless, but he knew how to get along with that boss.

Edited November 23, 2019 by chillii

[basil67]

I guess it's hard to hate him after all?

 

Don't you think that "hate" is a bit dramatic? What about dislike? Or frustrated with? Or can't understand him?

 

If you go around wanting to hate people when things don't go your way, you will indeed see life as a battlefield instead of learning how to roll with the punches.

[Springsummer]

But they got along soooo, next minute he's gets promoted to driving round to all the sites all day with the boss, just so the boss has someone to talk to and smoke dope with , and hide out in pubs drinking half the day together, they were always turning up on a site straight from the pub.

She probly did a number on the boss

This guy was so useless, but he knew how to get along with that boss.

 

That's EXACTLY it. I think you NAILED my situation for me.

 

The consultant get along well with the most senior person in the team. Like she is the only senior, the boss and boss's boss are as new as me or even newer and boss's boss is clueless what we do. He just directs...the boss only comes twice a year. so they all just listen to this senior lady.

 

I think this senior screwed me left and right. It took her over 15 years to get to her present level. when I had the opportunity to lead a project she gave it to someone who had zero experience. Now she is leaving, and she still wants to screw me so that I don't get her position.

 

One thing l noticed though , if a boss just liked someone , that was that , nothin else came into it.

but too bad for them though, this is not a private company. we are all on tax payers' dime. they need to justify why hire external without going through a selection process.

 

I think I stop them on their track now, because I 'shamelessly' bashed the qualifications of the person and 'shamelessly' promoted myself. I have never done the above in my life. but I was really resentful and mad to the point of affecting my mental and physical health I think.

 

I showed them I am ready to fight. and they probably realize now the consultant is not as good as she is cracked up to be. There are procedure and priority in appointment, they can not just hire whoever they want. I am not going to roll over and play death. they can't do that.

Edited November 24, 2019 by Springsummer

[schlumpy]

right...after I touched a bike for 15 minutes for the first time in my life and put it on the ground then I am supposed to go home quietly and forfeit my $550 dollars willingly. and never touch a bike again just because the instructor thought I can not. tough luck.

 

Please S&S do be aware that the first year of using a motorcycle is where the highest mortality rates occur. You have such a rambunctious attitude I fear that it will be a multiplier as to the likelihood that you will be one of them.

 

I don't want to read about you in the paper unless you won the Lotto.

[Blind-Sided]

Please S&S do be aware that the first year of using a motorcycle is where the highest mortality rates occur. You have such a rambunctious attitude I fear that it will be a multiplier as to the likelihood that you will be one of them.

 

I don't want to read about you in the paper unless you won the Lotto.

 

 

 

Yep. One of the bikes in my garage is a B-King. The computer shuts it down at 183 MPH !!! It's a blast to ride, but respect is everything. As soon as you do something dumb... it will remind you of that. (it has the power to spin the rear tire at 100 mph, and not just lift the front) My nephew keeps asking to ride it... and I keep telling him no, because I don't want to tell his mom that he's dead.

 

 

Keep the rubber down, and be safe.

[carhill]

How about you? do you have to fight for everything in life as well? or your life is smoother? or even harsher?

Just want to put myself into perspective.

Is this life? or just my life?

Over many decades of experience I've noted 'fight', metaphorically speaking, is a good indicator of poor fit with people or place or both. We see this in action daily here in our interpersonal relationship discussions. I've noted it in action in wider environments.

 

One can swim with the current, against the current or find a different river. Only in death do such choices end.

 

I found a different place and different social dynamic where life is comfortable and not a daily battle to survive in the most elemental of senses. I found a different river. Fought the old one's current long enough, couldn't stomach giving my soul to swim with it. Choice.

[chillii]

Over many decades of experience I've noted 'fight', metaphorically speaking, is a good indicator of poor fit with people or place or both. We see this in action daily here in our interpersonal relationship discussions. I've noted it in action in wider environments.

 

One can swim with the current, against the current or find a different river. Only in death do such choices end.

 

I found a different place and different social dynamic where life is comfortable and not a daily battle to survive in the most elemental of senses. I found a different river. Fought the old one's current long enough, couldn't stomach giving my soul to swim with it. Choice.

 

 

 

 

So true carhill , l found exactly the same too.

[Springsummer]

Over many decades of experience I've noted 'fight', metaphorically speaking, is a good indicator of poor fit with people or place or both. We see this in action daily here in our interpersonal relationship discussions. I've noted it in action in wider environments.

 

One can swim with the current, against the current or find a different river. Only in death do such choices end.

 

I found a different place and different social dynamic where life is comfortable and not a daily battle to survive in the most elemental of senses. I found a different river. Fought the old one's current long enough, couldn't stomach giving my soul to swim with it. Choice.

 

Sometimes true. sometimes not.

 

I don't think it's possible that every body likes you. some people just don't like you no matter what you do. because of prejudice, bias and jealousy etc...

 

such as in the motorcycle incident, what did I do? the class just started.

 

Churchill said: "you have enemies? good, because you have stand up for something in your life".

 

fight is in the sense that you stand up for yourself, speak truth to power.

 

oh, I get alone very well with other people in the workplace. I lunched oftern with other senior managers who give me advises and supports on this matter.

Edited November 24, 2019 by Springsummer

[basil67]

I don't think it's possible that every body likes you. some people just don't like you no matter what you do. because of prejudice, bias and jealousy etc...

 

You're quite right that nobody is universally liked. I guess it's about questioning whether we have contributed to the issue....and if not, walking away.

 

such as in the motorcycle incident, what did I do? the class just started.

 

You laid the bike down. When have you ever EVER seen someone lay a bike down? It was beyond foolish...and especially as it wasn't yours to risk the paintwork on. Until you can take responsibility for your own mistakes, you will continue to feel victimised when it's not really warranted.

[carhill]

There's a difference between not being liked and being actively attacked and life, livelihood and security threatened. All of us have experienced being unpopular and shunned, that's part of social dynamics. That wasn't the 'river' I was talking about. Finding a river of social dynamics where differences are respected and embraced was my choice. Sure some will stay and fight. I balanced those costs versus the benefits, and my sanity, and made a different choice. One oddity I've noted is others I knew well and figured would stay and fight or adapt have left too. Perhaps the old adage applies, pick the hill you want to die on. For me, this isn't it. YMMV!

[Springsummer]

There's a difference between not being liked and being actively attacked and life, livelihood and security threatened. All of us have experienced being unpopular and shunned, that's part of social dynamics. That wasn't the 'river' I was talking about. Finding a river of social dynamics where differences are respected and embraced was my choice. Sure some will stay and fight. I balanced those costs versus the benefits, and my sanity, and made a different choice. One oddity I've noted is others I knew well and figured would stay and fight or adapt have left too. Perhaps the old adage applies, pick the hill you want to die on. For me, this isn't it. YMMV!

 

yes. Initially I wanted to just leave. but then I got into the qualified candidates pool...and then this senior person is leaving and therefore the position will be vacated for the taking. there is no way I want to leave now. I will stay to make sure nobody else gets it, because I am the most qualified.

[Springsummer]

You laid the bike down. When have you ever EVER seen someone lay a bike down? It was beyond foolish...and especially as it wasn't yours to risk the paintwork on. Until you can take responsibility for your own mistakes, you will continue to feel victimised when it's not really warranted.

 

oh, man, what's your problem? for the zillion times again, the bike wasn't damaged. why paintwork? I think you have lost it.

[Springsummer]

I think this thread can be closed. because some people are running circle.

 

I am very thankful for some posters. They offered some great insights and advises that will be very useful to me.

 

a couple posters just went off on their own though.

[Kitty Tantrum]

I don't get it. From your own account, you committed a pretty big no-no which was apparently grounds for being booted from the class - as a matter of POLICY, which has nothing to do with whether damage is caused or not. Kinda like how they explained to me in driver's ed that tires up on the curb = fail, gtfo, retake course, pay again. Doesn't matter if not a single cent of damage is done.

 

You stomped your feet and cried and you were granted an exception.

 

How is your take-away from this experience that people are out to get you/treat you unfairly?

 

I recommend a little perspective.

[Springsummer]

I don't get it. From your own account, you committed a pretty big no-no which was apparently grounds for being booted from the class - as a matter of POLICY, which has nothing to do with whether damage is caused or not. Kinda like how they explained to me in driver's ed that tires up on the curb = fail, gtfo, retake course, pay again. Doesn't matter if not a single cent of damage is done.

 

You stomped your feet and cried and you were granted an exception.

 

How is your take-away from this experience that people are out to get you/treat you unfairly?

 

I recommend a little perspective.

 

Ha? what the hell? it's now a POLICY? where it was written? I was never informed of such.

 

Even if it is a policy, then the policy should be changed. People pay to learn and then pass the test. People should be allowed to make mistakes while learning, especially it's supposed for beginner. who can learn without making tiny mistake?

 

same story, but polar opposite of opinion. Someone said I should not let the instructor get off with this, while now we have this. Isn't life fun?

[Happy Lemming]

Yes... it is a policy. Here are the prerequisites from a motorcycle training course...

 

"For these entry level motorcycle lessons, participants do not need to have any motorcycle riding experience; however, sound bicycle riding skills are required. Participants will need to have the ability to balance and stabilize a two-wheeled vehicle before proper instruction can begin. If basic balance problems exist, riders may be referred to attend private instruction. If you choose to attend one of our courses, we STRONGLY recommend you practice riding a bicycle before the course."

 

Source: https://motorcycletraining.com/f-a-q/

 

You failed to balance and stabilize a two-wheeled vehicle and laid it down.

[Kitty Tantrum]

Well, I suppose if they didn't actually tell you at any point, either verbally or in writing, that it was policy - then you had a good argument and the exception was valid. But that is a very common policy, and I wouldn't be surprised at all if you actually WERE informed and simply missed it (gotta read everything, all the terms and fine print, etc.).

 

We have no way of knowing what was or wasn't addressed in your course paperwork or at the beginning of your class - but even *I* know that laying a motorcycle on its side is TYPICALLY an immediate "out" - because it very clearly demonstrates that you are not able to handle and balance it well enough to start learning to ride. I know this just from some cursory research a few years ago when I was toying with the idea of getting my dad a motorcycle, and from things I've heard in passing from friends who ride. Enough folks have reiterated the same here that it seems far more likely that you missed that bit of policy rather than that the instructor just arbitrarily decided that YOU would get booted for something that nobody else would have been disqualified for.

 

It's not a tiny mistake. You put a motor vehicle on its side because you were unable to handle it. That's reasonable grounds for ejection, and if it WASN'T covered in their policies when you took the course, I bet it is now!

 

You're coming across as someone with a very big victim complex and very little humility.

[Springsummer]

Participants will need to have the ability to balance and stabilize a two-wheeled vehicle before proper instruction can begin. If basic balance problems exist, riders may be referred to attend private instruction. If you choose to attend one of our courses, we STRONGLY recommend you practice riding a bicycle before the course."

 

You failed to balance and stabilize a two-wheeled vehicle and laid it down.

 

If I can't balance, how can I sailed through the next course and passed the test?

 

 

One instructor told me it's rare to see someone to balance on a still bike.

 

BTW, BALANCE is my strong suit. I grew up balancing. I climbed subtropical trees all day long growing up. 2-4 stories TALL trees. If I were not exceptional good with balancing, I would not have been here tying this post to you.

Edited November 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
rude

[Happy Lemming]

@Springsummer

 

In the end, you threw a hissy fit, got your way, obtained a motorcycle endorsement and did nothing with it.

 

Perhaps some of the tension and stress you suffer from would melt away if you did take a nice leisurely ride on a motorcycle. You may even gain some confidence and have the ability to talk to the man in your building that you long to date.

 

I can tell you that when I had a hard day at work, as soon as I twisted the throttle on my sportbike, all of that tension and stress went away. Blasting home in the HOV lane on my R6 brought me joy and happiness. It is great to ride home from work and be smiling under your helmet.

Edited November 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
reference to edited post.

[basil67]

BTW, BALANCE is my strong suit. I grew up balancing.

 

You weren't ejected because you couldn't balance. You were ejected because you couldn't hold up or stabilise a stationary bike. The terms and conditions may not have been spelled out, but given that nobody anywhere lays a bike down when stationary, there would reasonably be an expectation of common sense on the part of the learner. And also, it's up to you to read the T&Cs when paying over money.

 

Look at it this way: You lend someone your good skis and they carelessly go over patchy snow and rocky ground. Luckily no damage was done and they see nothing wrong with their actions because they didn't actually cause harm. Would you lend them your skis next time? Because I sure wouldn't.

[todreaminblue]

im sorry op, when i first read the title of your thread about life being a bloody battle field .....i was thinking of the battles i have fought ...won or lost in...the battles my family face....like my daughter taking my advice and counting hits to the head so you dont pass out.or not sleeping because you are waiting for a phone call to say your child is dead....or the nightmares you have when you do eventually fall asleep dreaming of a daughter set upon by three men....

 

....i should have read your post more closely...

 

you know sometimes we are meant to fail...failure teaches us humility and acceptance.....you did something wrong and you were penalised and had that penalty overturned...what did that teach you....what did you learn and grow in wisdom from having it overturned.....would you agree everyone should pass even if they fail.....to do the right.....to follow rules....i dont know...seems like the beginning of chaos...to me ....there's a natural order to many things.....for a reason and however hard that is to take...sometimes we need to take it...for people to pass and gain experience in excellence...not sub standard..

 

i would rather fail ......and gain experience to achieve excellence in another attempt than know in my heart i performed at a sub standard level and passed regardless of ineptitude.......especially when it comes to a machine that can kill....yourself and others....theres rules and theres rules.....

 

i dont consider this battle you faced a bloody battle field either...battles bloody ones to me.....are fights that completely drain you in every way in an effort to survive...to be heard and understood ...or protect and defend..thats the bloody battles i was talking about in my first post to you..i choose my battles the bloodiest ones in knowing no one else but me is there to fight them and i face them shaking pleading for god..............

 

and i know when to concede defeat......graciously...

 

defeat is not always failure.....its humility and acceptance..where you live to fight another day.......both humility and acceptance are winner traits

 

ps happy lemming is not insane or crazy ...honest ...yes...i wish you well...deb

Edited November 26, 2019 by todreaminblue

[schlumpy]

you know sometimes we are meant to fail...failure teaches us humility and acceptance.....you did something wrong and you were penalised and had that penalty overturned...what did that teach you....what did you learn and grow in wisdom from having it overturned.....would you agree everyone should pass even if they fail.....to do the right.....to follow rules....i dont know...seems like the beginning of chaos...to me ....there's a natural order to many things.....for a reason and however hard that is to take...sometimes we need to take it...for people to pass and gain experience in excellence...not sub standard..

 

Lots of insight in your post and dare I say - wisdom? I had to read it several times. Very insightful. Do your play an instrument or write poetry? It seems to me you are someone that is compelled to put your emotions into word or hang them on a few bars of music.

[Springsummer]

I fought, which I shouldn't even have to BEGIN with, by reasoning and showing them the skills. the bike one I already won, the job one is winning, because what they did was wrong.

 

the bold texts is the point of this thread.

[Ellener]

Hey Springsummer, it's one of those upsetting things in life when something we were looking forward to becomes a pain instead...a better tutor would have handled it differently not turned it into a humiliation or a battle.

 

Draw a line under it now, file it under things to forget.

 

If you are feeling depressed or unhappy ( and the holidays or work anxieties gets lots of people that way ) for me I try to go be out in nature, focus on a few always-positive people/activities, avoid the smug or 'well my life is way harder than yours' acquaintances, and do some self-care.

 

Find what makes you feel better.

[chillii]

The poor thing will be by now that's for sure , she'll need a good holiday after this thread.