Stocks87 Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 I don't think there is a such thing as waiting too long to ask a woman out for a date. If we are meant to be together then it does not matter how long I wait. That's how I look at it. That being said the only reason it may be better to ask her out sooner rather than later is so that I'm not wasting alot of time if she is not interested. If she's not interested in me now then she never will be. I know time does not change the way she thinks about me. I'd rather ask her out sooner and get the rejection over with than to wait several years to muster up the courage to ask only to get rejected when I could have moved on a long time ago. So while I believe sooner is better than later it is only for the above reason. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 Why do you think that time won't change how she feels about you? Most of us lose interest in things which are stagnating. Fortune favours the bold. Anyway, is there a question here? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 Nobody is "meant to be together." That is a fairytale. The truth is that the more mainstream and social and laid back and tolerant a person is, the more people they could end up being partners with. Of course, being reasonably attractive doesn't hurt. The more "specialized" a person is, the more it limits their field of choices, and that can mean specialized in any way from what they prefer in looks to having social anxiety or some other mental issue to just about anything and any way in which they limit their choices -- such as waiting too long to ask someone out. Most of the time, guys who are hanging around waiting for the woman to either come on to them or make the first move or show some sign they will instantly fall in love and marry them are called "orbiters," and orbiters nearly always end up in the friendzone because fear and hesitation and insecurity are not attractive traits. Now, on the list of exceptions are, certainly you might want to wait until a woman is between boyfriends before you ask her out because that is just having decent ethics. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 (edited) Time does change the way she feels about you. You are right that if she isn't attracted to you now, odds are that she won't become attracted to you in time. However, if she does like you now but you wait, another guy may come along or she may conclude that she was wrong about you & that you don't really like her but you only asked her out because you couldn't do any better. In short she will think she was 2nd or 3rd choice which could cause her to say no to save face. Asking for a date you want sooner rather than later is the way to go Edited November 19, 2019 by d0nnivain 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stocks87 Posted November 19, 2019 Author Share Posted November 19, 2019 Why do you think that time won't change how she feels about you? Most of us lose interest in things which are stagnating. Fortune favours the bold. Anyway, is there a question here? I meant if she is not interested to start with then time is not going to change how she thinks of me so it is better to ask out sooner and get the rejection over with now instead of later. I meant to say time does not ignite interest that is not there at the start. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 Pull the Bandaid off and ask for a date and don't pretend it's not a date to try to fool her into saying yes. Contact her 3 days ahead of time and ask her, "Would you go to dinner with me on Friday? I thought it would be fun to go on a date with you." Be clear to her it's a date. Otherwise, it's really the same as not asking her out at all. Orbiters tend to mask everything as just a coincidence or friendship in an effort to avoid rejection. Just do it and get it over with so you can either date her or move on. And remember, rejection isn't always about YOU. It can be about something about her you don't know. So no reason to take it real personally when you don't even know the person anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stocks87 Posted November 19, 2019 Author Share Posted November 19, 2019 Time does change the way she feels about you. You are right that if she isn't attracted to you now, odds are that she won't become attracted to you in time. However, if she does like you now but you wait, another guy may come along or she may conclude that she was wrong about you & that you don't really like her but you only asked her out because you couldn't do any better. In short she will think she was 2nd or 3rd choice which could cause her to say no to save face. Asking for a date you want sooner rather than later is the way to go Other guys are going to come along anyway no matter how quickly I ask her out. She's not going to claim me as her boyfriend after only 1 date. No matter how good the date was she could still go out with other guys the next night. It just means I was never on her radar to begin with. There's always the chance of other guys coming along. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 If rejection is your concern, then stick to asking out women who you've already built a rapport with. It doesn't have to be a long-time rapport, but you need to have established easy and comfortable conversation with her. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 10 characters Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 100% if you wait too long to ask her out she will think you are not interested, could be playing games, etc... It is real and it happens all the time. If you wait she may lose interest in you, her feelings may change, etc. Don't understand why you think people are meant to be together, that is fairy tale land... A woman's interest in you usually has an end date if you do not show interest back and ask her out. She will move on to someone else who is showing her interest. She may like you more but if the other guy shows interest then her interest in him will rise when he asks her out. If you really like someone and wait to ask them out you are risking losing them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stocks87 Posted November 19, 2019 Author Share Posted November 19, 2019 If rejection is your concern, then stick to asking out women who you've already built a rapport with. It doesn't have to be a long-time rapport, but you need to have established easy and comfortable conversation with her. I'm not concerned about rejection. I am more afraid of wasting alot of time. I don't mind the sting of rejection if it is sooner rather than later. In fact I don't believe in asking anyone out until I am ready for the sting of rejection. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 Other guys are going to come along anyway no matter how quickly I ask her out. She's not going to claim me as her boyfriend after only 1 date. No matter how good the date was she could still go out with other guys the next night. It just means I was never on her radar to begin with. There's always the chance of other guys coming along. True but if you do nothing you are guaranteed to lose her. If you try, you at least have a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stocks87 Posted November 19, 2019 Author Share Posted November 19, 2019 100% if you wait too long to ask her out she will think you are not interested, could be playing games, etc... It is real and it happens all the time. If you wait she may lose interest in you, her feelings may change, etc. Don't understand why you think people are meant to be together, that is fairy tale land... A woman's interest in you usually has an end date if you do not show interest back and ask her out. She will move on to someone else who is showing her interest. She may like you more but if the other guy shows interest then her interest in him will rise when he asks her out. If you really like someone and wait to ask them out you are risking losing them. Being meant to be together is not fairytale for me. I believe in the soveriegnty of God and that we have no free will. My theological beliefs are important to me in making major life decisions such as not asking women out. I already gave up om dating because of what I believe. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 Being meant to be together is not fairytale for me. I believe in the soveriegnty of God and that we have no free will. My theological beliefs are important to me in making major life decisions such as not asking women out. I already gave up om dating because of what I believe. So why waste energy talking about the right time to ask someone out on a date? Isn't it kinda pointless? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stocks87 Posted November 19, 2019 Author Share Posted November 19, 2019 True but if you do nothing you are guaranteed to lose her. If you try, you at least have a chance. That depends. I get that I can't win if I don't play but on the same token if the odds are not in my favor it may not be smart to play at all. Just like playing the lottery. I don't think it's smart to waste money on lottery tickets when the odds are I'm not going to win. I already know which types of women are unlikely to be interested so it doesn't make sense to even take a risk. I have to go with my gut. If my gut tells me she's not likely to be interested then I won't bother. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 if I can I like to ask a girl out on either the first, second or third meeting. I have asked girls out later on and it usually doesn't end well (for me). Plus, the longer you wait the more anxiety and second-guessing builds up in my mind. Ideally, I like to ask her the first time we meet... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 It depends. But the longer you wait, the more she'll lose interest. But you'll never know unless you try. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stocks87 Posted November 19, 2019 Author Share Posted November 19, 2019 if I can I like to ask a girl out on either the first, second or third meeting. I have asked girls out later on and it usually doesn't end well (for me). Plus, the longer you wait the more anxiety and second-guessing builds up in my mind. Ideally, I like to ask her the first time we meet... Perhaps it helps to set a self imposed time limit for myself. If I don't have the courage to ask her out after a 3rd face to face encounter/chat then time to forget about it and pretend she is off limits and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 God helps people who help themselves. No one has more control over your life than you do. God didn't give people brains so that he could then waste all his time micromanaging their love lives. This philosophy of yours will get you nowhere. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stocks87 Posted November 19, 2019 Author Share Posted November 19, 2019 Has any woman ever asked a guy "How come you didn't ask me out sooner?" Wouldn't that show high interest level? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 Whatever Satan. That's your opinion on theology and I have mine. I'm letting this comment go in one ear and out the other. That's "Santanico Pandemonium" to you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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