sweetgirl75 Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 We had a relationship for fourteen months. I loved him more than he loved me. It ended badly and I felt really bad for the way I treated him and I had seen his profile on the OLD site I was on and I decided to message him and apologize for my behavior. He messaged me back and we talked on the phone for an hour and it was really nice. Like it used to be. Until he found out I was going to have back surgery and everything changed. His tone of voice changed and I have not heard from him in almost two weeks. I should have just let this relationship be where it was at over and done with. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Not enough information here to get a good idea of your relationship. You credit your back surgery with him backing out. What makes you think there is a connection? Maybe he thought you wanted him to take care of you during recovery? I guess that might have occurred to me. Link to post Share on other sites
ajequals Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 this makes no sense. why would you needing back surgery create this response? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetgirl75 Posted November 20, 2019 Author Share Posted November 20, 2019 We had a relationship for fourteen months. I loved him more than he loved me. It ended badly and I felt really bad for the way I treated him and I had seen his profile on the OLD site I was on and I decided to message him and apologize for my behavior. He messaged me back and we talked on the phone for an hour and it was really nice. Like it used to be. Until he found out I was going to have back surgery and everything changed. His tone of voice changed and I have not heard from him in almost two weeks. I should have just let this relationship be where it was at over and done with. I did not ask him to take care of me after my surgery. I have been hospitalized before in the past and he disappeared for weeks at a time before. When he would come back he would be distant and angry at me and blame me for being ill. The back surgery may or may not be the reason he is acting this way but he said he wanted to see me again until I mentioned the surgery and I noticed the change and the no contact from him Link to post Share on other sites
Twizzlestick Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Did the ill health feature a lot in your rele as a bone of contention? Did he end it with you or the other way round? Just wondering if the Ill health was a problem area then he was all chatty chatty until you mentioned that then it brought back a sticking point for him. Not saying I agree with it! I’ve had an ex cite ill health when I was dumped and it’s horrid. But just wondering if that’s the reason. A bit like if working away a lot was an issue and an ex starts chatting again and one were to say how they’ve been away weeks with work that might bring back the “same old same old” response to the ex. It’s not your fault one bit, more shows he isn’t in the mindset to view you right. It’s actually good you saw this response from him rather than say get down the road a bit more of being all nicey again and he bolts the min you mention your health. You can’t have fair weather partners. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 I did not ask him to take care of me after my surgery. I have been hospitalized before in the past and he disappeared for weeks at a time before. Ok. He has a problem being around people that are not well which means he's going to have problems in any relationship and more so as he ages. He will leave himself if he's ill enough. Flush this guy down the river of bad boy friends and wave to him as the current takes him out of sight around the next bend. He is now firmly in your past. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 You tried to be nice. He hasn't changed & can't handle your illness; he never could. Now you should be able to walk away & never look back without regrets. Best wishes for you & your surgeon regarding your back operation. Get well soon! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 I did not ask him to take care of me after my surgery. I have been hospitalized before in the past and he disappeared for weeks at a time before. When he would come back he would be distant and angry at me and blame me for being ill. The back surgery may or may not be the reason he is acting this way but he said he wanted to see me again until I mentioned the surgery and I noticed the change and the no contact from him Why would you want to be with someone this myopic? He clearly isn’t invested in you as a person. Regret nothing, but move forward and stop looking back. You aren’t going that way. Find someone who values you so much that they honor your illnesses and want to be there for you. Best, G 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetgirl75 Posted November 21, 2019 Author Share Posted November 21, 2019 Did the ill health feature a lot in your rele as a bone of contention? Did he end it with you or the other way round? Just wondering if the Ill health was a problem area then he was all chatty chatty until you mentioned that then it brought back a sticking point for him. Not saying I agree with it! I’ve had an ex cite ill health when I was dumped and it’s horrid. But just wondering if that’s the reason. A bit like if working away a lot was an issue and an ex starts chatting again and one were to say how they’ve been away weeks with work that might bring back the “same old same old” response to the ex. It’s not your fault one bit, more shows he isn’t in the mindset to view you right. It’s actually good you saw this response from him rather than say get down the road a bit more of being all nicey again and he bolts the min you mention your health. You can’t have fair weather partners. He ended things with me. I am glad I saw his behavior now. I guess I was hoping he had changed. I agree with the not having fair weather partners. Both of his parents are elderly and one day he will see what illness does and I hope that he does not treat his parents this way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetgirl75 Posted November 21, 2019 Author Share Posted November 21, 2019 Why would you want to be with someone this myopic? He clearly isn’t invested in you as a person. Regret nothing, but move forward and stop looking back. You aren’t going that way. Find someone who values you so much that they honor your illnesses and want to be there for you. Best, G I agree. I am moving forward. I am working on a better me Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetgirl75 Posted November 21, 2019 Author Share Posted November 21, 2019 You tried to be nice. He hasn't changed & can't handle your illness; he never could. Now you should be able to walk away & never look back without regrets. Best wishes for you & your surgeon regarding your back operation. Get well soon! No regrets . I am walking away. Thank you for the get well wishes:) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetgirl75 Posted November 21, 2019 Author Share Posted November 21, 2019 Ok. He has a problem being around people that are not well which means he's going to have problems in any relationship and more so as he ages. He will leave himself if he's ill enough. Flush this guy down the river of bad boy friends and wave to him as the current takes him out of sight around the next bend. He is now firmly in your past. I agree. He has had two surgeries of his own and I did not treat him this way but it was different. It was him and not someone else. I am not sure what kind of world he thinks he is living in but people get sick and get hurt. Yes he definitely belongs in my past Link to post Share on other sites
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