TDHYoungMale26 Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Good morning guys, I hope you are well. Early this morning I broke up with my girlfriend after finding out she had shared a bed with one of her colleagues that she has got really close with recently after a work night out. To give some context this is a kind of butch Portuguese lesbian woman who is engaged, they work together at a bar. Recently they have been talking everyday which is fine they do work together after all but my girlfriend has not stopped mentioning her it seems.. Every second jenna this and jenna that. My girlfriend has recently been trying to see her friends more cos she doesn't go out too often as she has moved back home just before I met her mid last year so she went on a work night out last week with 4 of her colleagues. That night jenna's fiance was there and PUSHED my GF as she was extremely insecure about the way those two were behaving I think she didn't like how close they were standing to each other. Her fiance is insecure that my girlfriend is blonde and very pretty and is jenna's type. On Monday she went on another night outand I never heard from her until I text her.. She responded sent a few pictures of her night around 10pm I never replied, she was up until past 5am that night/morning and ending up inviting jenna into her house and then into her bed even though she has a spare room and a sofa also (a sofa she is always willing to sleep on when I'm snoring) they also lied to jenna's fiance claiming jenna fell asleep on a colleague's sofa that's why she wasn't contactable even though she was in my girlfriends bed. Once my girlfriend told me this information I broke up with her as I saw it as super inappropriate, very weird and strange plus it horrible that she would do that to jenna's fiance also. She knows how it would make her feel if she found out that they shared the same bed. It would probably end their marriage. Sorry for the poor grammar and vocab it's very early in the morning and I'm still in shock as I love her more than anything but she continues to make very questionable decisions. Do you guys believe that I have over reacted? Link to post Share on other sites
ajequals Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 I don't believe you did. she broke your heart. your response she should have expected as I'm sure other things have happened that brought you to this decision 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 It's not over reacting to dump someone who cheats on you, no. IT's normal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TDHYoungMale26 Posted November 20, 2019 Author Share Posted November 20, 2019 Thank you, you're right. This is just something in a long list of line of mess ups. I love her and I really wanted it to work but I don't think it can. I regret breaking up with her cos I love her so much but I felt like putting up with everything was killing me Link to post Share on other sites
Author TDHYoungMale26 Posted November 20, 2019 Author Share Posted November 20, 2019 Do you think she cheated as they were intimate or do you think just the fact they shared a bed is cheating within itself Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Yes of course she cheated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Do you guys believe that I have over reacted? No, of course not. She's probably been keeping her desire for other women at bay for awhile, so this had to happen eventually. She was probably hoping for a different reaction from you. She's knows you love her and she used being drunk as a mitigating excuse but you didn't fall for it. It was a gambit on her part. If you had accepted it, then she would be free to pursue other women when she wanted and have you also. I'm very sorry that she has you emotionally trapped but very glad that you have the character to see through the fog and what is in your best interest. I don't see you coming back from this unless you are willing to accept an open relationship and of course that remains your choice. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TDHYoungMale26 Posted November 20, 2019 Author Share Posted November 20, 2019 Good morning guys, I hope you are well. Early this morning I broke up with my girlfriend after finding out she had shared a bed with one of her colleagues that she has got really close with recently after a work night out. To give some context this is a kind of butch Portuguese lesbian woman who is engaged, they work together at a bar. Recently they have been talking everyday which is fine they do work together after all but my girlfriend has not stopped mentioning her it seems.. Every second jenna this and jenna that. My girlfriend has recently been trying to see her friends more cos she doesn't go out too often as she has moved back home just before I met her mid last year so she went on a work night out last week with 4 of her colleagues. That night jenna's fiance was there and PUSHED my GF as she was extremely insecure about the way those two were behaving I think she didn't like how close they were standing to each other. Her fiance is insecure that my girlfriend is blonde and very pretty and is jenna's type. On Monday she went on another night outand I never heard from her until I text her.. She responded sent a few pictures of her night around 10pm I never replied, she was up until past 5am that night/morning and ending up inviting jenna into her house and then into her bed even though she has a spare room and a sofa also (a sofa she is always willing to sleep on when I'm snoring) they also lied to jenna's fiance claiming jenna fell asleep on a colleague's sofa that's why she wasn't contactable even though she was in my girlfriends bed. Once my girlfriend told me this information I broke up with her as I saw it as super inappropriate, very weird and strange plus it horrible that she would do that to jenna's fiance also. She knows how it would make her feel if she found out that they shared the same bed. It would probably end their marriage. Sorry for the poor grammar and vocab it's very early in the morning and I'm still in shock as I love her more than anything but she continues to make very questionable decisions. Do you guys believe that I have over reacted?[/quote) Should I still consider it a betrayal even if they didn't do anything together? My gfs mum was in so I very much doubt they had sex Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 You indirectly answered your question. Your perception is had the the mother of your GF been out they would have sagged. Which means you do not question her being a cheater, just the fact that THIS time circumstances weren't perfect. Listen to yourself. You already know... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Should I still consider it a betrayal even if they didn't do anything together? My gfs mum was in so I very much doubt they had sex I have to retract. Maybe she did get the reaction she wanted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 I realize you weren't married but there is a reason the vows say forsaking all Others. They don't say forsaking all opposite sex people . If you are exclusive then you shouldn't be in bed with other potential partners. Even if nothing happened, I'd have trouble trusting or respecting her because she exhibited poor judgment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 My gfs mum was in so I very much doubt they had sex Why, because doing it quietly isn't an option?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted November 21, 2019 Share Posted November 21, 2019 In my opinion, yes she cheated and you did right dumping her. I wouldn’t want to be awkward or “foot in mouth” here but my experience dating only a couple Bi girls/women were that I often ended up cheated on. Not lumping them all together but those I’ve known had this sort of “swinger” mentality to them. They enjoy it, a lot, and I wouldn’t date or have a relationship with one again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TDHYoungMale26 Posted March 25, 2020 Author Share Posted March 25, 2020 On 11/20/2019 at 6:41 AM, TDHYoungMale26 said: Good morning guys, I hope you are well. Early this morning I broke up with my girlfriend after finding out she had shared a bed with one of her colleagues that she has got really close with recently after a work night out. To give some context this is a kind of butch Portuguese lesbian woman who is engaged, they work together at a bar. Recently they have been talking everyday which is fine they do work together after all but my girlfriend has not stopped mentioning her it seems.. Every second jenna this and jenna that. My girlfriend has recently been trying to see her friends more cos she doesn't go out too often as she has moved back home just before I met her mid last year so she went on a work night out last week with 4 of her colleagues. That night jenna's fiance was there and PUSHED my GF as she was extremely insecure about the way those two were behaving I think she didn't like how close they were standing to each other. Her fiance is insecure that my girlfriend is blonde and very pretty and is jenna's type. On Monday she went on another night outand I never heard from her until I text her.. She responded sent a few pictures of her night around 10pm I never replied, she was up until past 5am that night/morning and ending up inviting jenna into her house and then into her bed even though she has a spare room and a sofa also (a sofa she is always willing to sleep on when I'm snoring) they also lied to jenna's fiance claiming jenna fell asleep on a colleague's sofa that's why she wasn't contactable even though she was in my girlfriends bed. Once my girlfriend told me this information I broke up with her as I saw it as super inappropriate, very weird and strange plus it horrible that she would do that to jenna's fiance also. She knows how it would make her feel if she found out that they shared the same bed. It would probably end their marriage. Sorry for the poor grammar and vocab it's very early in the morning and I'm still in shock as I love her more than anything but she continues to make very questionable decisions. Do you guys believe that I have over reacted? Update (25/03/2020) Hey guys, I hope are well. Many apologies for not taking your advice. My ex ended up cheating on me twice in a week then leaving me for the lesbian thay she shared d the bed with. Next time i will follow my head and not my heart and I WILL NEVER have a relationship with a bi-sexual girl again. You live and you learn. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 hey that's what these lessons we live through are for....to learn, and then you grow from your experience good or bad. Hope you will feel better soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 8 hours ago, TDHYoungMale26 said: Next time i will follow my head and not my heart and I WILL NEVER have a relationship with a bi-sexual girl again. It isn't their being "bisexual" that is the red flag. (if sometime after your 40th anniversary you find her old college yearbook, and in it you find a sexy note from a same-sex lover of the college years, it isn't a big deal, and one that you might be best to not mention - for the same reason SHE never did {cuz it truly 'doesn't matter' } ) It is their telling you about it, which marks the point where you should turn and run. The ONLY reason they have for informing their new lover of their "bisexuality" is so they can CHEAT later. (thus setting-up the classic line: ) "... but I told you I am bisexual..." (AS IF that is supposed to excuse anything) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 Being bisexual isn't an excuse for cheating in a relationship. Plenty of bisexual people have fulfilling monogamous relationships. If they've recently discovered that they are bisexual and want to explore that part of their personality, it might (and that's a very big might) reasonably excuse a breakup, but definitely not cheating. If someone is interested in others they may be polyamorous, but being bisexual doesn't necessarily mean they are polyamorous. However I do completely agree that what she did was wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
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