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I’m a mess


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scooby-philly

@jess060191

 

Congrats on standing up for yourself! 

 

A few quick comments and support of what others have said.

 

We all have people that come into our lives that we can't let go of easily. Friends, family members, SOs, etc. - they come in (or something happens/changes) and boom - we're a mess, we're not ourselves, etc. Now...for some of us it's because we don't have great boundaries - or we never were in a position to set strong ones with previous relationships, so this is your "test". Yes, it is painful - but look at this as the one relationship you needed to learn your boundaries, learn what you want, and learn how you want to live life.

 

Plenty of people settle in life and relationships. But look how many people leave relationships after 5,10,20,30 years because they're not happy or they're not in love with the other person. The reality is they probably weren't for a long time - it just took x amount of time for them to own it, to speak their truth, and to live their truth.

 

You must go NC right now. I didn't read your other posts so I don't know this guy's complete character - but the simple want to hook up when you've already expressed your feelings before that is a sign he not only doesn't want a relationship with you, he doesn't respect you and he may not even respect himself, and he may not even have an emotional  clue. As others have pointed out - the longer you "extend" the NC - the longer you will be in pain. Don't get me wrong - the pain will be bad anyway....but prolonging you're direct involvement and communication, the worse and longer the pain will last.

 

 

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