If a guy is interested, do they ask out girls immediately or wait?

[Metsgal]

I've been attending this meetup group, there is 1 guy that is fairly attractive and I know for a fact is single. I've seen him twice at 2 events, he has introduced himself to me and we danced the first time and the last event we chatted and told me it was nice seeing me. He usually attends these events with this group. He's probably just friendly or what not, but I want to keep going to these events in hopes of maybe him asking me out? Is that lame or am I wasting my time thinking this may or may not happen? If a guy is interested I assume they don't waste their time asking out a girl or do they wait til things progress?

[Garcon1986]

He may be shy or not interested; these are the two major possibilities.

If you want to take the classic approach you should approach him and drop a few hints, and try to talk to him more. He may not know you like him.

 

Get to know the lad better and see if he is interested in being around you. You may not get the immediate gratification you are looking for but at least playing the dating game will allow you to judge his interest better rather than smiles from across the room.

[basil67]

Guys aren't a job lot who all think the same way. Some ask a girl out straight away while others take time. Or he may not be interested in dating you.

 

How about you ask him out? Fortune favours the bold. The worst he would say is "sorry, no"

[snowboy91]

Guys aren't a job lot who all think the same way. Some ask a girl out straight away while others take time.

 

This. If a guy is interested, sometimes they wait to be more certain that the girl likes him back, and sometimes they just go for it anyway. And sometimes guys don't even notice a girl until she comes up and asks. There are a lot of people at these events

 

So if you're interested in him, why not go up and ask him out? You don't want to miss out on dating him (or even more!) just because you're sitting around waiting for him to make the first move.

[alphamale]

different guys have different MOs. I will ask someone out immediately if I REALLY like her AND know I won't see her again. If I know I will see someone again repeatedly then I will wait until the 3rd or 4th meeting to ask her out (sometimes I wait longer but that usually doen't turn out well for me). In my opinion the quicker you ask someone out the better.

[Metsgal]

Well, the next event that I'll go to I'll see how he interacts with me and from that point, I'll open up a bit and ask him questions about himself to keep the convo rolling.

[basil67]

And flirt with him

[d0nnivain]

It depends on the guy & the group.

 

Some men take a while to warm up & build their courage for the ask. You can help that along by making sure he knows if he asks, the answer will be yes.

 

However if the purpose of the group is not dating / meeting new people, he may prefer not to ask so that he doesn't make things awkward & can continue to enjoy interacting with the group.

[preraph]

Be sure and touch his arm a couple times during conversation or give him a warm greeting when you see him. Even a small touch more or less opens the door for a guy to walk through.

[The Outlaw]

I usually bide my time (not long) to get to know her just a little better before I even think to make a move and ask.

[basil67]

I want to keep going to these events in hopes of maybe him asking me out? Is that lame or am I wasting my time thinking this may or may not happen?

 

Go to the meetup group because you want to go to the meetup group. Thing is, if going to the group would be a waste of time if he doesn't ask you out, then I'd suggest the group is a poor fit for you.

 

Making your life choices around what one guy may or may not do is foolish.

[Foxhall]

I imagine he will ask you out at the next meetup,

 

let things take their natural course, you feel that is where this is heading,

 

opting out of the meetup group now is like trying to sabotage the natural flow.

[thefooloftheyear]

Some guys are slow on the take up, aloof, or just terrible at picking up subtle signs...Show him some substantial cleavage next time,..that should get him off the dime..

 

TFY

[nospam99]

Show him some substantial cleavage next time,..that should get him off the dime..

 

 

My personal preferences run to tight clothes and/or short shirts.

 

But really, engaged one-on-one conversation is the best 'casual' tactic. The clothing thing or the gentle touch on the arm are at the next level (GREATLY enjoyed though )

[mark clemson]

Some guys are slow on the take up, aloof, or just terrible at picking up subtle signs...Show him some substantial cleavage next time,..that should get him off the dime..

 

 

Indeed. And if he won't play, there may be plenty of others happy to instead.

[basil67]

Some guys are slow on the take up, aloof, or just terrible at picking up subtle signs...Show him some substantial cleavage next time,..that should get him off the dime..

 

And some guys aren't interested in us. Shockingly, there have been men in my past who I was keen on who didn't share the sentiment

[Shining One]

In a Meetup setting, I would be slow to ask a woman out. A guy can only ask one woman out in a Meetup group, so he has to ensure that she is very likely to say yes. If he asks out the "wrong" woman and she rejects him, he's almost certainly rejected by every other woman in the group. The best strategy is to wait for as close to a sure thing as reasonably possible.

[basil67]

Yes, this is true Shining One. Especially so if the group isn't specifically about dating.

[dispatch3d]

It takes me months to ask out a girl and never goes well, probably as a result of that. Chicken and egg, anyhow I think you can just ask him out if your interested.

[PRW]

Just don't ask him out.  From what you have said there is no way to distinguish if he is interested or just being friendly.  I'm in a Meetup group for singles that has 4,900+ members. I am well acquainted with the meetup environment.

 

It is important that you treat the act of him taking the initiative of offering a "real date" as a test of his social skills, dating skills, confidence, and his intentions. Don't short circuit the test by asking him out.  That is how you end up with timid or socially awkward guys that end up driving you insane in the long run.  If you want to give him a nudge, just let him know that you would interested in going out if he offered, but don't push it further than that.

 

Also consider that Meetup is a lot of people's entire social life. If they date someone in the group and then break up,...one or both may not come to any Meetup events any longer, particularly if the other one is there.  It is kind of like dating someone you work with, then break up,...and have to figure out how to deal with each other on the job afterwards.  So a dating situation "gone bad" could end the only social life they have.