lostnlove Posted June 8, 2001 Share Posted June 8, 2001 I will try to make this short, even though its a rather complicated and crazy story. This guy and I were best friends and went out for almost 2 years. we were totally in love, but too young to get completely serious and the relationship was headed in that direction, so we broke up about a year ago. we said that we would always keep this relationship most important and leave the door open to come back to it and always remain close friends. well, since then i've seen someone else and broken up and he was seeing someone else too. he's now begining to see that she's not who he thought she was (actually he's been seeing this for a few months now) and trying to distance himself from her. he's even broken up with her at least once but she comes back and he's very nice and doesn't want to hurt anyone, plus he doesn't like to give up so he takes her back. well he and i remained freinds and i recently realized that there were still those very strong feelings for each other. i told him and we talked about it and he told me he feels it too and its made his current relationship very difficult on top of the other problems they've had. well he now says that he's not really with her but he wants to just step back and get to know each of us again and see what he wants. i told him i'm not going to sit around and let him pick and choose when he feels like it, even though i want him back with all my heart, and he knows it. my friend told me that if this will ever work out, i have to walk away and he will come back to me when the time is right and he can give me what i deserve. if thats true, and i have to walk away, how do i do it but still let him know he can come back to me? sorry this got so long, but i truly need help! Link to post Share on other sites
Gemma Posted June 8, 2001 Share Posted June 8, 2001 It's true, you don't want to be anyone's second choice. You do have to distance yourself. Is he chosing you just because the present relationship has difficulites. If he doesn't want to be with her he needs to break up with her. Do you want a guy with no backbone? He broke up with you okay. If you love him, give him (and them) room to sort things out, you don't want him to be resentful of you later. What if he comes back to you now and realizes if was just to escape whre he was (you are the excuse for breaking it off with her) and then he doesn't break up with you 'cause he doesn't want to hurt your feelings and strings you along for a long time? It is great that you guys have a close relationship, but don't be his emotional crutch. Let him sort himself out and then re-evaluate whether you are still right for each other. Some breathing time fo you would be beneficial too. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
lostnlove Posted June 8, 2001 Share Posted June 8, 2001 I agree that we need some space so he can make his own decisions, but how do i do this without just giving up on everything? Link to post Share on other sites
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