ajain97 Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 (edited) Hi, I had posted a problem with a friend about 3 months ago: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/platonic/friendship/689722-how-do-i-approach-my-long-distance-friend Long story short, that problem has been totally resolved. My friend was going through depression and had closed off, but reached out to me and resumed communication. I would say we are even closer and we have talked a few times on the phone since. She said that she was happy that I had been reaching out during her dark period and that I had been supportive. Just to summarize, this is about one of my (single, 22, M) very close friends (22, F) who I have known for about 14 months and have been hanging out since Jan until I left in May. We have been in touch consistently since then. She is in Florida and lives with her boyfriend and I am in North Carolina. I do have another question now. She called me most recently on Thanksgiving and we were just catching up. Her birthday is in mid-January and I had asked her if she is going to do anything, to which she said there were no plans of yet and she is unlikely to do anything much. A little later in the call I told her that I would love to visit and see her on her birthday. The time works for me as it is towards the end of my winter break from university. She expressed some interest and I told her to think about it and ask her boyfriend about it. I know her boyfriend who I have met a couple of times, and he likes me so that's not an issue. I explicitly mentioned that I do not want to interfere in any plans she may have of her own, to which she said that it would not be an interference at all. The rest of the call, she just mentioned that it would be nice for me to come back to visit Florida and revisit old places etc. Anyways, she said that she would talk with her boyfriend and I doubt they were together for the Thanksgiving day so I don't know if she has discussed this yet. I am thinking to wait for a week and reach out to ask what she thinks. My main issue - how do I show my interest in visiting without being intrusive? She has said that she will be happy to host me - but obviously I don't want to invite myself. But even that is not really required; I can always just go for a day trip and I have enough experience pulling all-nighters in airports. I would love to meet her and her birthday seems like a good time to do so. I just don't want to demand too much time, energy, or space from her, even though there is no reason to believe that there is any problem except for my own anxiety. Mid-Jan is still a month and a half away but the winters are coming, during which I will be out of the country for 3+ weeks so it would be nice to know either way, plus I can find cheap flights right now. How would you go about it? Thanks, Ansh Edited November 29, 2019 by ajain97 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 Just come right out & ask. Hey I have time off from [date] to [date]. Can I come warm up in Florida & crash at your place? Why are you chasing this woman? She has a BF. Are you sure you don't have an ulterior motive? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ajain97 Posted November 30, 2019 Author Share Posted November 30, 2019 Thanks for your response, d0nnivain. No ulterior motive at all. We are very good friends and I feel that we connect very well. I'm sure she sees it the same way. I'm just very deliberate about who I spend time with and make my best friendships count a lot. That's all. Link to post Share on other sites
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