lovetherain Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 okay for about a month now there has been nonstop marriage jokes. Some examples, and no they weren't all said in 1 day Jokingly saying he put money aside for wedding [don't really think he did?] Talking about what the wedding would be like. Jokingly saying "we should just get married" Drove past a ring place and he was like "oh I need to go there to get your ring!" Joked saying I don't know what hes getting me for Christmas and it'll be a real knee jerker, and joked about getting down on his knee. Brought up noticing a wedding dress place. Joked about proposing for Christmas and that's what I get for christmas Etc. Probably more. Weve been together almost 2 years, and we have a 1 year old son. Just last year it kinda freaked him out I think, but I don't really bring marriage up Ive never pressured him, never felt pressured my own self. Am I crazy or is he thinking about proposing? Lol I have no clue why he keeps joking about a Christmas proposal? I feel like he wouldn't tell me it and do it that day especially because he actually works that day? I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 My guess would be that he is thinking about it at least. Possibly the jokes let him see your responses in order to feel out what your reaction to a proposal might be. After all, it's a big risk - if you say "no", does that mean the end of the relationship? It might. So safer to gauge your probable reaction ahead of time. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 I hope that at some point during all these "jokes" you at least engaged in conversation about it. He couldn't be making it more obvious that he's trying to gauge where you're at with it..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovetherain Posted December 1, 2019 Author Share Posted December 1, 2019 ahhh, okay. we've discussed it a little bit before. I definitely would say yes. just hes dropping it SO much. its like hes the chick trying to drop major hints lol Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 It sounds like he doesn't know if you want to marry him or not and is insecure about just coming out and asking until you give him some encouragement. So if you do want to, next time he says something like that you should say, I wish you would or make some flirtacious response. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 Here's a thought: ask him what it's all about. Marriage involves communication, so you may as well start practicing now 5 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 You don't want him to think you are not keen on marriage. He may decide one day he has hinted enough, and you are not actually marriage material and he will give up. Once that happens, the relationship will take a dive and he may walk away, child or no child... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovetherain Posted December 1, 2019 Author Share Posted December 1, 2019 It sounds like he doesn't know if you want to marry him or not and is insecure about just coming out and asking until you give him some encouragement. So if you do want to, next time he says something like that you should say, I wish you would or make some flirtacious response. Ohhhh good idea!~! I usually do go along with it, but sometimes I just kinda joke back Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovetherain Posted December 1, 2019 Author Share Posted December 1, 2019 You don't want him to think you are not keen on marriage. He may decide one day he has hinted enough, and you are not actually marriage material and he will give up. Once that happens, the relationship will take a dive and he may walk away, child or no child... I don't think he thinks i'm not keen on it. I don't ever oppose it when he talks about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovetherain Posted December 1, 2019 Author Share Posted December 1, 2019 Here's a thought: ask him what it's all about. Marriage involves communication, so you may as well start practicing now Yeah, I may eventually. I'm not SUPER pressed to get married. If he proposed i'd be ecstatic though! Just letting things play out. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 Most guys who end up proposing, the couple has talked about marriage before so he has a good idea she's onboard. It's the biggest rejection, so most guys are nervous about it unless they know you want it. And with you even telling me, you're not pressed about it, you may have given him that same impression. Not saying negative about the jokes isn't the same as saying something to encourage him. He says something about a ring, say, The sooner the better, or "Yeah, my ring finger does feel naked" or ask him if he'll also wear a gold band, just anything to make it clear you're for it. I mean, you have a child, so if you're sure this is the guy, then why not go ahead? If you're not sure, that's different. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 Here's a thought: ask him what it's all about. Marriage involves communication, so you may as well start practicing now I agree. Start talking about it. You have a child together. If you’re ready for marriage allow him to understand that. If you’re not then he needs to know that as well. Be honest and definitely open up communications about what you want in your future - this guy will be constantly in your life whether you marry or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 1, 2019 Share Posted December 1, 2019 I don't know. The ‘funny’ in humor comes from truth. There might be spin or exaggeration involved, but there’s reality at the center. Of course he’s going to ask, he’s just navigating the process. As has been suggested, help him along... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovetherain Posted December 2, 2019 Author Share Posted December 2, 2019 Omg. I think I’m dumb. My mom got me an expensive bracelet (it’s to represent my grandma who passed away) he saw it and said “sorry I can’t get you something like that for Christmas “ Which leads me to believe he is NOT thinking about proposing ?*♀️ Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 Maybe he can not afford the bracelet as he will have to buy the ring... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovetherain Posted December 2, 2019 Author Share Posted December 2, 2019 Maybe he can not afford the bracelet as he will have to buy the ring... I thought about that. But could just be joking ? this whole time Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovetherain Posted December 2, 2019 Author Share Posted December 2, 2019 You're raising a child together, and yet you cannot bring up the topic of marriage and openly discuss how you both feel about it. This is disturbing. We have a little. I don’t feel the need to talk about the proposal? I’d love to be surprised. He’s the one who is constantly joking about it Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 Well, if you don't show some enthusiasm, you may be surprised to find he doesn't even propose because he thinks it's no big deal to you. I just don't get why you'd clam up on him about this stuff instead of encouraging him. There is no surprise at this point since he's brought it up over and over. The only surprise is, Surprise, no proposal. So you better give up on some big surprise. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 Yeah I am a bit confused. You two have a kid together but have never talked seriously about marriage? Having a kid together is a WAY bigger commitment than marriage. It should never be the plan, but divorces are a thing, you can't return a child. Do you two live together? Share finances? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovetherain Posted December 2, 2019 Author Share Posted December 2, 2019 Well, if you don't show some enthusiasm, you may be surprised to find he doesn't even propose because he thinks it's no big deal to you. I just don't get why you'd clam up on him about this stuff instead of encouraging him. There is no surprise at this point since he's brought it up over and over. The only surprise is, Surprise, no proposal. So you better give up on some big surprise. I feel like I have. I actually thought the jokes were sweet, and exciting. So a guy who didn’t want it wouldn’t joke about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovetherain Posted December 2, 2019 Author Share Posted December 2, 2019 Yeah I am a bit confused. You two have a kid together but have never talked seriously about marriage? Having a kid together is a WAY bigger commitment than marriage. It should never be the plan, but divorces are a thing, you can't return a child. Do you two live together? Share finances? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him? We live together. He pays the bills. And I could see myself with him, yes. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 I thought about that. But could just be joking this whole time Seems very immature. How old are you? Do you work full time? If you have thoughts of marrying him - talk to him openly about it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovetherain Posted December 2, 2019 Author Share Posted December 2, 2019 Seems very immature. How old are you? Do you work full time? If you have thoughts of marrying him - talk to him openly about it! If he’s joking , I actually think my feelings will be hurt. I’m 29. No, I’m a stay at home mom. Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 If he's joking and not planning on it, I'd say that's in poor taste. But since you two have a child, shouldn't he have married you already? If it comes to it, since this is 2019, why not propose to HIM? I sometimes wonder why women wait and wonder if the guy is going to do it or not. Is it just tradition? If he's worried about the cost of marriage, you could always plan something cheap yet fun and celebratory. It is the commitment and closeness that matters, not how fancy things are. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 Never leave yourself at the mercy of any man’s money. Get a job at least part time. You aren’t even married to him. If YOU want to get married then say so! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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