How to talk to relatives who think I'm an insane, Satanic heroin addict?

[LuckyLady13]

THIS is what bothers me and why I think you need to turn your back on them and make a life for yourself without ANY of their negative influences. What you have endured and were able to overcome is absolutely remarkable.

 

I was robbed of everything that makes life worth living and in the past few years, I didn't realize it until you guys said something that I've been on fire the past few years. I have gorgeous guitars now, I run a business, I have finally been able to get to guitar practice (that wasn't possible my entire life before this) and one of the biggest reasons I show up and work besides the freedom of being able to is I think it's a great boost to morale to see me care and show up every day and work really hard.

 

You strike me as the type of person (like I was, after a crummy childhood - but not nearly as bad as yours!) who will decide that when/if you have a family and children, your children will know they are nurtured and loved every single day.

 

In my early 20's, I actually didn't trust myself. My parents had me so thoroughly brainwashed into thinking I was a criminal (grandma too) that I thought I'd be a danger to children. One day it just dawned on me that there was no possible way that was going to happen. Then, I realized, if I had kids, my mother would never stop telling the cops I was abusing them to threaten and isolate me. I knew from her past behavior this would be a perfect storm. She'd use my kids against me constantly and destroy my life. So, when I finally realized what reality is and that I'd treat kids like gold...I couldn't give my mother ammunition. I made things work by using skills I picked up in high school to have a business today but I'd be so adamant about my kids going to college. And pursuing their dreams - career and hobby. Get married, have friends...and just be normal.

 

I admire your strength! I know the holidays can be hard when you do not have family with whom to celebrate (even bad family), but just look forward to making your OWN peaceful and happy traditions and memories from here forward - and it does not have to be blood relatives. I am closer to many of my friends than I EVER was to my family, including siblings!

 

This last thing you said here?? This has inspired me to pick myself up, forget about these relatives I have left (they really aren't worth my time) and do something REALLY NICE this holiday season.

[Daisydooks]

On 12/2/2019 at 5:36 PM, LuckyLady13 said:

What would you do if you were me?

I would stay as far away from all of them. There is no relationship to salvage with sickos who actually saw any of this and believed your mother (having physically seen her behavior or heard her speak.) They all sound incredibly insane and abusive. Even if they never touched you themselves, no one ever thought you were human enough to be saved. Not a single one of them. No one should have to endure this and I am sorry you've lived it so long you feel the need to be the bigger person/adult and mend or build relationships with people who should have had your back and protected you when this started. In fact, they played a roll in your abuse by not protecting you in my opinion. They are part of the bigger problem here. 

 

 None of this is normal or healthy for you and staying away from all of it will lead to your own growth. 

 

It is now time for you to grow and fly. It's easy for me to say this as it's not me in the situation, but please get yourself away from EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. THESE. SICK. PEOPLE. Dont you ever feel like this is on you to fix or mend any of it. 

 

All of them are twisted and insane. They're just as bad as your parents. All of them. They all knew and decided to turn a blind eye or played an active roll in keeping it hush hush. What speaks volumes to me is your grandmothers involvement here. She probably did the same to all of her own children (which is where your mother learned this sick and twisted stuff from.) Break the cycle and break away from the entire family. It IS worthless. Walk away, with your chin up, back straight and your heart open to only those who care for you and want what's best for you in life. Your blood family arent those people. Thinking of you. Xoxo

[Ellener]

Enough already.

 

You are who you are and who you are meant to be.

 

Embrace your best and the people who see your best self.

 

Merry Christmas and all the love in the world.

 

 

[schlumpy]

How about writing a song that expresses how you feel? You can discover a lot about yourself and your feelings as you search for the words that tie the lyrics to the music. 

[K.K.]

Quote

“How to talk to relatives who think I’m an insane, Satanic heroin addict” 

 

In a really deep growly voice, bent over at a 45 degree angle. Make sharp zombie-ish movements every few seconds. 

 

They’ll leave you alone after that. Bet !