Callie28 Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 (edited) An old flame (that I never had a Relationship with but strong chemistry at age 16) and I reconnected on Facebook recently (i initiated). I was with my boyfriend now husband when this boy drove up to my house to finally date me when he got his license. I declined to see him because I was being loyal to my current boyfriend. I regret not spending time with this boy that day to see what could have been. We are both now married with kids and I'm happy, he said hes not. We had a lovely phone conversation where he said he will never forget my eyes and he said I love you and I said it back and meant it. Also he hesitated to see me again when i suggested a catch up with he and his sisters who i used to be friends with, and he said he doesnt know what he would do if he saw me again. I told him I'm happy and he abruptly finished the convo when his wife walked in (he had me on loud speaker) and she got upset that he was talking to me. Since then his messages have been short and not inviting further conversation. I only wanted him as a friend in my life but I know that's a slippery slope because i still have feelings even though I love my husband and he is a wonderful husband. I'm happy to let sleeping dogs lie but I just feel very rejected with the sudden cut off with no explanation or 'last words'. I understand he cant rock the boat and probably doesn't want to. I just feel like I lost a friend. Anyway if his marriage ever crumbles do you think he might reach out to me even though I said I'm happily married? Even though I said that, I'm now starting to wonder if I am! Thanks for listening. Edited December 3, 2019 by Callie28 Added info Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 You are playing with fire here. He is going backwards in life to a simpler time to get out of a marriage that is hurting him. He's looking for a soft place to land. If you are happy in your marriage you need to stay away from him. How is it that you were smart enough to do this at 16 but you can't show your husband the same respect & boundary enforcement you had he wisdom to exhibit as a teen? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 I only wanted him as a friend in my life but I know that's a slippery slope because i still have feelings... You are exactly right and this is exactly why this is dangerous. There is a steady occasional patter of "had fling or affair with an ex or old flame" stories on this site. My advice would be to not be one of them. Anyway if his marriage ever crumbles do you think he might reach out to me even though I said I'm happily married? Even though I said that, I'm now starting to wonder if I am! Thanks for listening. I think YOU need to decide what YOU really want. Consider doing some reading in the Infidelity and OM/OW sections of this board if you haven't already. There is a LOT of potential for serious problems and trauma in extramarital affairs. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 Anyway if his marriage ever crumbles do you think he might reach out to me even though I said I'm happily married? Even though I said that, I'm now starting to wonder if I am! Ai yi yi. This has DANGER written all over it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 It's best to just let it go despite your feelings. He's married as are you. And that's never a good thing. Should he contact you again, it will only do more harm than good. Link to post Share on other sites
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