All out of ideas...

[preraph]

Sounds like practice would help, behavior modification. Do you have any idea why you have that fear of dealing with women?  Were you bullied, or did a father or father figure have a terrible attitude toward women that may have put that in your head?  

[Thelambofdeth]

1 hour ago, preraph said:

Sounds like practice would help, behavior modification. Do you have any idea why you have that fear of dealing with women?  Were you bullied, or did a father or father figure have a terrible attitude toward women that may have put that in your head?  

Nah, I've pretty much always been tall and I played sports in grade school so I was never bullied. No mysognostic father figures. The biggest issue as of late has mostly just been the perception women won"t find me attractive. Unless I change, hide or mask myself. I can't approach, flirt, get to know or whatever else because I don't see myself being accepted. So that makes me appear closed-off I suppose.

[preraph]

Have you read about body dysmorphia? Google it and read about it and see if that sounds like you. 

[Thelambofdeth]

14 minutes ago, preraph said:

Have you read about body dysmorphia? Google it and read about it and see if that sounds like you. 

I've heard about it, and I might have aspects of it. I'm 6'3, 180 lbs and I always feel I can lose more weight and tone more. I appreciate the work I've put into my body, but idk...I don't feel like its optimum.

[preraph]

You think you're ugly and that women can't find you attractive.  All disorders are on a sliding scale, so you can have it a little or medium or a lot.  It's treated as an obsessive compulsive disorder.  You don't sound extreme, but despite that you do work on your body and appear to be a tall fit attractive man, you do think you're ugly or that women can't be attracted, so it's a possibility. 

[Thelambofdeth]

48 minutes ago, preraph said:

You think you're ugly and that women can't find you attractive.  All disorders are on a sliding scale, so you can have it a little or medium or a lot.  It's treated as an obsessive compulsive disorder.  You don't sound extreme, but despite that you do work on your body and appear to be a tall fit attractive man, you do think you're ugly or that women can't be attracted, so it's a possibility. 

It stems from online dating. Its something so prevalent in today's culture, if you can't succeed them, you're moot. At least that's how I feel about it. If I was in fact attractive, then with the height and body I should be able to garner some attention there. That's the thought process mostly. "If women online don't fine me attractive, why would the ones IRL?"

Edited December 28, 2019 by Thelambofdeth

[preraph]

Most people in online dating are shooting for their dream date and aren't being at all realistic. It could be something besides your looks that is not interesting some of them, your online name, your profile, whatever. There are very few people on Love shack who have been happy online dating with their results. if it's doing nothing but depressing you and making you feel bad about yourself then you need to stop doing it. There is a big difference between real life dating and online dating because face-to-face contact can make you like someone and think they're nice and give them a chance. But now we've come full circle to getting you out more!

[Thelambofdeth]

40 minutes ago, preraph said:

Most people in online dating are shooting for their dream date and aren't being at all realistic. It could be something besides your looks that is not interesting some of them, your online name, your profile, whatever. There are very few people on Love shack who have been happy online dating with their results. if it's doing nothing but depressing you and making you feel bad about yourself then you need to stop doing it. There is a big difference between real life dating and online dating because face-to-face contact can make you like someone and think they're nice and give them a chance. But now we've come full circle to getting you out more!

I agree, getting out more would help. It only could. It's my only option. But I can't even approach inebriated women in a venue in which its deemed acceptable, so finding a place in which I'd be able is...difficult. That's why I wanted OLD to work. It's a chance to have a rapport with women before you meet. I'm not going to be able to go to an art gallery or cafe and just chat up a stranger.

[preraph]

Did you say you had already tried meetup groups? You might even find one for your kind of music. The good thing about them is there's always some people that are just too shy or shyer than you. it does kind of take a strong leader to keep the conversation going and help people open up and tell others about themselves. 

 

I don't know if you have any interest in this but one of the groups I used to be in was not a Meetup group but a paranormal group just because I have an interest in paranormal. They met once a month and then they had things they went to, camping out at haunted locations and things like that. I couldn't participate in most of it because I had two jobs and couldn't be up all night. But their once-a-month meetings happened at a decent hour but then they're haunting stuff happened in the middle of the freaking night. It was a semi interesting group of people. 

[Thelambofdeth]

54 minutes ago, preraph said:

Did you say you had already tried meetup groups? You might even find one for your kind of music. The good thing about them is there's always some people that are just too shy or shyer than you. it does kind of take a strong leader to keep the conversation going and help people open up and tell others about themselves. 

 

I don't know if you have any interest in this but one of the groups I used to be in was not a Meetup group but a paranormal group just because I have an interest in paranormal. They met once a month and then they had things they went to, camping out at haunted locations and things like that. I couldn't participate in most of it because I had two jobs and couldn't be up all night. But their once-a-month meetings happened at a decent hour but then they're haunting stuff happened in the middle of the freaking night. It was a semi interesting group of people. 

No, I've yet to try a meetup actually.

That sounds interesting, actually. How did you find out about it?

[preraph]

14 hours ago, Thelambofdeth said:

No, I've yet to try a meetup actually.

That sounds interesting, actually. How did you find out about it?

There's paranormal group or groups in most larger towns and some smaller areas.  Just google your area and "paranormal" or "ghost busters."  I only quit that group eventually because two new members were keeping the monthly meetup off topic.  We were there at the monthly meeting to talk about outings and things that happened and also we had visitors who came to talk to someone because they were having weird things happen.  But these two girls (a couple) just sat with their phones distracting people showing them sports and Harry Potter related stuff and just ruined the monthly meeting.  When I first joined, there was a bad guy in the group, but I exposed him and he left or was asked to leave.  

It helps to get in and go do events if you are technical with recorders and equipment.  That wasn't why I was there, but that's a lot of what they did.  You might like it!  This was not an official "Meetup" group at all.  They had their own website, but there may be some under Meetup.  You should sometime just go to Meetup and do a search for what all is in your area in general.  You will be surprised at some of the "out of the way" groups there are, like comics, any type of crafting, model cars, trains, planes, music, just every random thing out there.  

[K.K.]

Eh ... he aight. 

But who knows if he’s nice or well spoken or introspective? Who knows if he’s any fun? Maybe he’s a wet blanket that doesn’t like metal lol! Or even music in general? Maybe he’s a Grade A douchebag. It doesn’t matter what his face looks like if he’s lacking in personality. 

I’m not saying he is lacking. I don’t know. I don’t care. 

But you know like I know that there’s way more to someone’s attractiveness than any physical attribute. 

You recognize these other non physical attributes about yourself as positive. But never your looks.

I think preraph was on to something with the body dysmorphia. If you’re looking in the mirror and seeing ugly then your mirror looks different than mine. 

I like your posts. So do the other people that post back to you. I feel like I kind of ‘know’ you from your posts and know somewhat who you are and a lot of the attributes of your personality. So if I say that you look better than the guy on your profile, make no mistake that I meant it. Because to me you do. I don’t know his personality. I know yours. Got it?! As much as you can on a message board anyway.

I’ve been thinking about it .. the reason why I think girls don’t approach you is because they’re intimidated. I pictured you in a bar, probably smelling good from some high end cologne, looking bougee, extraordinarily tall, face in a state of dismissal probably because you always think you’re going to be rejected anyway so ..why not reject them first. I know you will probably disagree but I think they’re probably pretty intimidated. If your own friends are asking why are you wasting your time on “less attractive” people then surely they find you a very attractive guy. 

As for the lack of the dating site interest, it’s probably the same thing. Your face must scream get the hell away. 

So you either truly believe that you’re ugly (body dysmorphia like preraph said) or maybe you’re on the other extreme and are a narcissist that loves talking about yourself and hearing nice feedback that you really are ok. Which is it? Maybe somewhere in between? None of the above? I like hearing whatever you’re saying, regardless. 

Patrick Bateman was a well dressed narcissistic psychopath wasn’t he? And a murderer either for real or in his own mind. I don’t know I didn’t see the movie. 

Why do you look up to him? 

Anyway, I should have stopped 5 paragraphs ago. I try to run away but I’m addicted to this thread lol  

 

Peace out for now  

kk

 

 

 

[Thelambofdeth]

4 hours ago, preraph said:

There's paranormal group or groups in most larger towns and some smaller areas.  Just google your area and "paranormal" or "ghost busters."  I only quit that group eventually because two new members were keeping the monthly meetup off topic.  We were there at the monthly meeting to talk about outings and things that happened and also we had visitors who came to talk to someone because they were having weird things happen.  But these two girls (a couple) just sat with their phones distracting people showing them sports and Harry Potter related stuff and just ruined the monthly meeting.  When I first joined, there was a bad guy in the group, but I exposed him and he left or was asked to leave.  

It helps to get in and go do events if you are technical with recorders and equipment.  That wasn't why I was there, but that's a lot of what they did.  You might like it!  This was not an official "Meetup" group at all.  They had their own website, but there may be some under Meetup.  You should sometime just go to Meetup and do a search for what all is in your area in general.  You will be surprised at some of the "out of the way" groups there are, like comics, any type of crafting, model cars, trains, planes, music, just every random thing out there.  

Why the hell would you go to a paranormal event and focus on literal HP stuff? How odd....

Hmmmm...thank you. I never would've considered that. I'll have to do some research on what's available.

[preraph]

Yeah, they were just very nerdy.

[Thelambofdeth]

7 hours ago, K.K. said:

Eh ... he aight. 

But who knows if he’s nice or well spoken or introspective? Who knows if he’s any fun? Maybe he’s a wet blanket that doesn’t like metal lol! Or even music in general? Maybe he’s a Grade A douchebag. It doesn’t matter what his face looks like if he’s lacking in personality. 

I’m not saying he is lacking. I don’t know. I don’t care. 

But you know like I know that there’s way more to someone’s attractiveness than any physical attribute. 

But, it's Christian Bale....

But seriously, I do know what you mean. But your face and appearance is what gets you in. It's a lot easier to have the opportunity to demonstrate your positive qualities and attributes personally, if you're found physically attractive.

Quote

You recognize these other non physical attributes about yourself as positive. But never your looks.

I think preraph was on to something with the body dysmorphia. If you’re looking in the mirror and seeing ugly then your mirror looks different than mine. 

I like your posts. So do the other people that post back to you. I feel like I kind of ‘know’ you from your posts and know somewhat who you are and a lot of the attributes of your personality. So if I say that you look better than the guy on your profile, make no mistake that I meant it. Because to me you do. I don’t know his personality. I know yours. Got it?! As much as you can on a message board anyway.

Idk. I guess the other components are objective, and physical appearance is subjective?

I do think there's truth to the body-dysmorphia theory. Sometimes I think I look fine, other times not so much. I always feel there's room to improve. Aspects that could be better, or that i'm not fond of...

Well that's the thing, irl you aren't always afforded venues, means or chances to get to know someone. You're not always guaranteed a real chance. IRL it can be much more kinetic, less convenient  and fleeting. Often a short, first impression is all you're afforded. Regardless, thank you for the kind words.

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I’ve been thinking about it .. the reason why I think girls don’t approach you is because they’re intimidated. I pictured you in a bar, probably smelling good from some high end cologne, looking bougee, extraordinarily tall, face in a state of dismissal probably because you always think you’re going to be rejected anyway so ..why not reject them first. I know you will probably disagree but I think they’re probably pretty intimidated. If your own friends are asking why are you wasting your time on “less attractive” people then surely they find you a very attractive guy. 

As for the lack of the dating site interest, it’s probably the same thing. Your face must scream get the hell away. 

So you either truly believe that you’re ugly (body dysmorphia like preraph said) or maybe you’re on the other extreme and are a narcissist that loves talking about yourself and hearing nice feedback that you really are ok. Which is it? Maybe somewhere in between? None of the above? I like hearing whatever you’re saying, regardless. 

I've been told this in the past, by a few people, but I don't really buy it. I basically go out of my way to not seem intimidating. Like, if you mean intimating in the sense i'm a black guy well over six feet, sure I get that lol.  But like, unapproachable? I mean idk. I would think if a woman found me attractive, she would at least dish out signs or hints. I guess if a tall woman had on really fancy dress, was really done up and seemed stoic and indifferent I'd think the same, but that's hardly the same... IDK. It's not a tone I project purposely. 

 

lols I wish I as just fishing for compliments, but that's totally not the case.

Quote

Patrick Bateman was a well dressed narcissistic psychopath wasn’t he? And a murderer either for real or in his own mind. I don’t know I didn’t see the movie. 

Why do you look up to him? 

Anyway, I should have stopped 5 paragraphs ago. I try to run away but I’m addicted to this thread lol  

 

Peace out for now  

kk

Well possible psycho-killer stuff aside I admire the image. A confident, resolute, well-dressed, intelligent who's always in charge. That's the absolute aspiration in my eyes. That image, that projection is what I want to encapsulate. Not the narcissistic, possible murder-killer stuff.

 

It's a great film, and a great book.You should try one or both at some point...

Edited December 30, 2019 by Thelambofdeth

[Thelambofdeth]

6 hours ago, preraph said:

Yeah, they were just very nerdy.

Sounds like me...(except the disruptive part.)

[K.K.]

15 hours ago, Thelambofdeth said:

But your face and appearance is what gets you in. It's a lot easier to have the opportunity to demonstrate your positive qualities and attributes personally, if you're found physically attractive.

 

Hi ! 🙂 I know. I do see where you’re coming from, I do. But your face and appearance are fine. They’re great. So it’s got to be something else with that initial impression that is throwing them off, lol I just haven’t figured it out yet. 

I keep trying to think back on how I met people that I was eventually in a relationship with. Was it their initial face and presentation that I liked? You know... it really wasn’t! But I didn’t meet them at bars or places like that where you only had a few minutes to make any judgements about them one way or the other. I think I met most of them at work or through friends. Some of them I couldn’t even stand before eventually liking them. One of them looked like Barney Rubble lol and on paper or at first glance, hell second and third glance as well I would’ve never even entertained it. But you know what? He had a cute little sexy mouth and an old soul, and his chemical makeup just jumped out to mine. 

I think it’s just a numbers game. It’s very hard to just meet someone and hit it off. I personally think love or attraction is just chemistry. I don’t really think you can look for it other than I guess ... simply showing up to a party or a bar or wherever. Yes, it enhances your odds. But to specifically look for love is mostly like looking for a four leaf clover! I could go sit out here in a patch of clover all day and never find one. But on a different day, if the situation was just right, the right sunlight, the right placement as compared to where I was sitting, maybe one would just jump right out at me! But I’m not even sure if we’re talking about love or sex at this point so I dunno  ...

 

15 hours ago, Thelambofdeth said:

 

I've been told this in the past, by a few people, but I don't really buy it. I basically go out of my way to not seem intimidating. Like, if you mean intimating in the sense i'm a black guy well over six feet, sure I get that lol.  But like, unapproachable? I mean idk. I would think if a woman found me attractive, she would at least dish out signs or hints. 

No no, I meant that it dawned on me how actually tall a 6’3 (think you said earlier) guy is. Lol. Any guy. I just keep trying to picture the scenarios you’ve talked about. They have to be intimidated in some way. If you’ve been told this in the past by a few different people, why do you not buy it? Lolll, why would they lie? And I’m not talking intimidating like they think you’re an ax murderer or something. I mean like maybe they just flat out think you would reject them. That you’re too good for them. I don’t know. 

IRL yea it’s hard to make that initial impression. But on the other hand, what about those people that it goes the other way? Like people that get to know each other through the internet. Not particularly a dating site but through gaming or online forums. It’s easy to feel intimacy with someone on line and then meet them in real life and BAM there is no chemistry. It’s all a numbers game. It’s all chemistry. And being in the right place at the right time. Like finding a four leaf clover. 

15 hours ago, Thelambofdeth said:

. I guess if a tall woman had on really fancy dress, was really done up and seemed stoic and indifferent I'd think the same, but that's hardly the same... 

How come it’s not the same? Lol

15 hours ago, Thelambofdeth said:

But, it's Christian Bale 

I had to look him up because seriously I have never seen a movie that he was in. IKR?! My attention span is that of a gnat when it comes to most movies.. I don’t know why. Something about the part where it’s fiction, I never forget about that when I’m watching, when I should be concentrating on the actors and trying to lose myself in the story. 

15 hours ago, Thelambofdeth said:

I admire the image. A confident, resolute, well-dressed, intelligent who's always in charge. That's the absolute aspiration in my eyes. That image, that projection is what I want to encapsulate. Not the narcissistic, possible murder-killer stuff.

 

It's a great film, and a great book.You should try one or both at some point...

Aww, I like that. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with aspiring to be that. In fact, you sound like you’re well on your way. If you could just cut yourself a little slack sometimes. You’re 100% fine like you are. Is that objective or subjective- i is dumb  

Oh, I’m already dying to see the movie now! Is it on Netflix? I’ve just heard the general idea of it. I’d rather read the book in a way because supposedly it’s wayyy more horrifying than the movie but at the same time I want to actually see this guy Christian Bale in action. 

Keep going out. Maybe not with an ending plan in sight but rather just enjoy the night. Have a few drinks. Let down your hair so to speak. It’s pretty attractive to see a guy just doing what he does ya know? Do you have any friends that are girls? Maybe you can take a wing woman? Women are so weird. Let them see you with another female, especially a pretty one and all of a sudden, all the other women want some. Hahaha it’s so true! I don’t know if it’s because they know if you’re with somebody then you’re pretty safe and not threatening to them or if it’s just the competition thing. But it’s true. 

Try to find one of those paranormal things P was talking about! Wouldn’t that be crazy?!  I’ve always wanted to go but just my luck some demon will stick to me. Not even kidding. I have that kind of personality/aura. Take a friend. Maybe you can meet people there sure, or with the group but the best part is that who cares it would be a great experience anyway ! 

Hey ... I know you’ll think I’m a weirdo but I’m good with it so let me ask you something .. don’t laugh. Are you an Aquarius? Stop laughing I just have these intuitions and that one keeps throwing up on me. I’m an Aquarius. You’re just too similar. I have a second guess but I’m going to put this one out there first in an exercise to trust my intuition even more.

Ok, well I sure said a whole lot of nothing, I guess, but I was trying to stay on topic  lolllz thanks for listening.

Hope any of it makes sense because I’m just gonna hit the send button and hope the site doesn’t kick it out for being idle too long. Wish me luck. 

🥴

kk 

 

 

[Thelambofdeth]

9 hours ago, K.K. said:

Hi ! 🙂 I know. I do see where you’re coming from, I do. But your face and appearance are fine. They’re great. So it’s got to be something else with that initial impression that is throwing them off, lol I just haven’t figured it out yet.  

My demeanor? My disposition? My *aura*? All of the above? Likely...

Quote

I keep trying to think back on how I met people that I was eventually in a relationship with. Was it their initial face and presentation that I liked? You know... it really wasn’t! But I didn’t meet them at bars or places like that where you only had a few minutes to make any judgements about them one way or the other. I think I met most of them at work or through friends. Some of them I couldn’t even stand before eventually liking them. One of them looked like Barney Rubble lol and on paper or at first glance, hell second and third glance as well I would’ve never even entertained it. But you know what? He had a cute little sexy mouth and an old soul, and his chemical makeup just jumped out to mine. 

Work and friends is what probably works for most people i'd imagine. Neither is really on the table for me. I've mean I've had friends off to try and set me up, but it wouldn't really be with women i'd have much in common with. Thing is, at a bar or a neutral setting, physical impression and appearance do carry more weight...but also not really. Unless you're really hot, or really ugly, looks kind of seem superfluous for the most for the majority of people. Literally every time I go out I see total slobs do far better than I, but when it comes time for me to make an approach all I can focus on is my own appearance, and how I perceive it as inadequate. I'm a pessimist and they say you're supposed to assume every woman is interested in you until proven otherwise. I assume the inverse. Until I see some kind of hint or inclination of interest, I expect rejection. So yeah, that probably reflects my demeanor. It's like a catch 22.

And I get that, and tbh I'm pretty similar. People think it's weird. Like if a woman just has certain quirks...glasses, tattoos, dark hair, dark make-up, etc even if she isn't conventionally pretty, I'll just find her more alluring. Or if I find out see just has certain quirks I find appealing, interesting or something. It's why people think I have chit taste in women lol. I still find conventionally attractive women attractive but...idk, it's hard to explain...

Quote

No no, I meant that it dawned on me how actually tall a 6’3 (think you said earlier) guy is. Lol. Any guy. I just keep trying to picture the scenarios you’ve talked about. They have to be intimidated in some way. If you’ve been told this in the past by a few different people, why do you not buy it? Lolll, why would they lie? And I’m not talking intimidating like they think you’re an ax murderer or something. I mean like maybe they just flat out think you would reject them. That you’re too good for them. I don’t know.

 Because it doesn't really make sense to me? I mean I guess a tall guy in a black suite can be intimidating but those are both aspects I'd assume would attract people, not repel them. I've had people insinuate some women might think I'd reject them or whatnot, but 90% of the time that's so not the case, it's almost ironic. It's like certain perceptions are made that misconstrue a LOT. I'm so not physically shallow and overly-humble to the point trying to believe women would assume I'd believe myself superior it's almost a cruel joke lol.

Quote

IRL yea it’s hard to make that initial impression. But on the other hand, what about those people that it goes the other way? Like people that get to know each other through the internet. Not particularly a dating site but through gaming or online forums. It’s easy to feel intimacy with someone on line and then meet them in real life and BAM there is no chemistry. It’s all a numbers game. It’s all chemistry. And being in the right place at the right time. Like finding a four leaf clover. 

At least via online there's already some semblance of something there. Some rapport, some familiarity. There is a bit of a foundation already laid. Something already in common. Irl it's basically a total crap shoot and for me, has been much more difficult finding that niche or right place at the opportune time. But yes, "spinning plates" as it were does lend itself to more chances for that to happen.

Quote

How come it’s not the same? Lol

Because women are a lot more likely to reject someone. (Most) Men are conditioned to approach women, often far out of their league, and get rejected. So(at least in my experience and via proxy) men are usually more susceptible to being approached because it usually happens less often. Women are usually so accustomed to it, they're able to be more selective and rejection comes more natural. Not to mention if I see a pretty woman, dressed really well who seems disengaged I just assume shes just out with someone or just to get attention and not act one it. Men don't really do that...IDK the equation has many more variables when it's a woman 

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I had to look him up because seriously I have never seen a movie that he was in. IKR?! My attention span is that of a gnat when it comes to most movies.. I don’t know why. Something about the part where it’s fiction, I never forget about that when I’m watching, when I should be concentrating on the actors and trying to lose myself in the story. 

WHAT??!! You've never saw the Machinist? American Hustle? The Fighter? The Big Short? 3:10 to Yuma? The Prestige or The Dark Knight??? OMG!!!

Quote

I think it’s just a numbers game. It’s very hard to just meet someone and hit it off. I personally think love or attraction is just chemistry. I don’t really think you can look for it other than I guess ... simply showing up to a party or a bar or wherever. Yes, it enhances your odds. But to specifically look for love is mostly like looking for a four leaf clover! I could go sit out here in a patch of clover all day and never find one. But on a different day, if the situation was just right, the right sunlight, the right placement as compared to where I was sitting, maybe one would just jump right out at me! But I’m not even sure if we’re talking about love or sex at this point so I dunno  ...

I agree. Very rarely is a connection just instant. Casting a wide net is just ideal. You get multiple opportunities, more chances, better odds. It's just logical. That just takes a certain confidence and resilience to weed through the rejections. I'm not looking for love. Also not looking for just coitus. At this part that would be nonsensical and far too large of a step, personally I'm just seeking a connection. Some compatible companionship....something.

Quote

Aww, I like that. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with aspiring to be that. In fact, you sound like you’re well on your way. If you could just cut yourself a little slack sometimes. You’re 100% fine like you are. Is that objective or subjective- i is dumb  

I suppose saying someone is 100% fine has to be subjective, since objectively that's not possible but I get what you mean. Perhaps i'm too objective for my own good. Paradoxically so, even...

Quote

Oh, I’m already dying to see the movie now! Is it on Netflix? I’ve just heard the general idea of it. I’d rather read the book in a way because supposedly it’s wayyy more horrifying than the movie but at the same time I want to actually see this guy Christian Bale in action. 

I recommend it. Retroactively, his performance really stands out in that role even more because he's never really had a role similar, before or since. Hes a great actor, and and Oscar winner, but he doesn't really play psychopaths much.....He was so believable and compelling playing an absolutely self-absorbed, obsessed, neurotic, condescending, bat-chit crazy, loathsome prick that it would interesting seeing him tackle a similar character again imo. Really wish he took more roles like that. Last I saw like a few weeks back it actually was on Netflix. Not sure now. It's funny though, because people talk about how disturbing it is, but the film doesn't even hold a candle to the book. I mostly see the film as a black comedy tbh.

Quote

Keep going out. Maybe not with an ending plan in sight but rather just enjoy the night. Have a few drinks. Let down your hair so to speak. It’s pretty attractive to see a guy just doing what he does ya know? Do you have any friends that are girls? Maybe you can take a wing woman? Women are so weird. Let them see you with another female, especially a pretty one and all of a sudden, all the other women want some. Hahaha it’s so true! I don’t know if it’s because they know if you’re with somebody then you’re pretty safe and not threatening to them or if it’s just the competition thing. But it’s true. 

Yeah, I could probably stand to relax more when I go out, and appear to be more at ease. Should make people more comfortable and actually make an effort to interact with people I don't already know. And at this point I actually don't really have any female friends. I feel like they're hard to make because the women are just going to assume I'm trying to hit on them, not actually just be a friend.

But to go on a small tangent, a friend of mine was talking to this bartender and he confessed his feelings and she said she just wanted to remain friends. A few weeks later he brings this girl he met from Tinder to that bar, and a week later he hooked up with said bartender...so you're certainly onto something. I suppose no one wants someone that's unwanted....

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Try to find one of those paranormal things P was talking about! Wouldn’t that be crazy?!  I’ve always wanted to go but just my luck some demon will stick to me. Not even kidding. I have that kind of personality/aura. Take a friend. Maybe you can meet people there sure, or with the group but the best part is that who cares it would be a great experience anyway ! 

Yeah I'd like to just go to something like that, anyway. No even on the premise of meeting someone, but just because I find it interesting.

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Hey ... I know you’ll think I’m a weirdo but I’m good with it so let me ask you something .. don’t laugh. Are you an Aquarius? Stop laughing I just have these intuitions and that one keeps throwing up on me. I’m an Aquarius. You’re just too similar. I have a second guess but I’m going to put this one out there first in an exercise to trust my intuition even more.

Ok, well I sure said a whole lot of nothing, I guess, but I was trying to stay on topic  lolllz thanks for listening.

Hope any of it makes sense because I’m just gonna hit the send button and hope the site doesn’t kick it out for being idle too long. Wish me luck. 

🥴

kk 

 

Well, my birthday is on February the 7th, so that would make me an aquarius, so I guess you're right again. I was never much into astrology, but I always thought aquarius seems like a boring, uncool sign lol.

Edited December 31, 2019 by Thelambofdeth

[K.K.]

YES YES YES YEAY !! 

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ! ! 

Are you kidding?! Aquarius is superb! 

I just had to say that real quick. 

I can tell you’re unimpressed. 😞 

[K.K.]

5 hours ago, Thelambofdeth said:

My demeanor? My disposition? My *aura*? All of the above? Likely...

Work and friends is what probably works for most people 

When I read the very first line, I pictured you sort of like that guy in the movie. Standing over me and screaming every word. Sarcastically spitting out each question. My demeanor?!?! Myyyyy dispoSITion?!! My auuuura!!! ? ” 🤬“  

Set the tone for everything that followed. 

Which is insane I know, since you must surely have meant it as nothing more than innocent inquires. Why would you mean it any other way. I read it all over 5 times at least now and I only got that on the first read. Not sure what that means. Maybe that I’m just weird. Yep. 

This thread is FK’ing up my head. ‘Insert lol’s’ here.’ 

Still .. wouldn’t kill ya to use an emoticon errry now and again. 😶

My friend, (I forget what I said his name was and I’m too lazy to scroll back.) I was telling you about earlier in the thread, he thinks they’re unnecessary as well. Wouldn’t use one if his life depended on it. Well he probably would then, he’s not a complete idiot so that was an exaggeration on my part. 

Oh, and I don’t really know anything about auras. I just couldn’t think of a better word that a demon might recognize me with if he felt like he wanted to attach. 

Moving on... 

Yes, I imagine work and friends is something that works for a lot of people. Only with the work thing, you end up losing your job most of the time. There’s nothing worse than the lovin’ going bad and having to deal with the fallout at the place that you have to spend all day every day. 

5 hours ago, Thelambofdeth said:

 

People think it's weird. Like if a woman just has certain quirks...glasses, tattoos, dark hair, dark make-up, etc even if she isn't conventionally pretty, I'll just find her more alluring. Or if I find out see just has certain quirks I find appealing, interesting or something. It's why people think I have chit taste in women lol. I still find conventionally attractive women attractive but...idk, it's hard to explain...

Nah, it makes perfect sense. People have a certain preference, their own opinion of what’s hot. And isn’t that a great thing or millions or billions of people would all be fighting over the same kind of chick/dude.  My brother married a girl that looked like a supermodel. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Tall, soft little southern voice. Your worst conventional nightmare no doubt. They divorced but when it all went down in flames, I’ll never forget him sobbing like a FK’ing baby and giving me advice. He said if I knew what was good for me, I should pick the ugliest ogre that I could find. Or a quadriplegic so they couldn’t run away. He said there’s no happiness in having something if everyone else wanted to take it away. I don’t know how I feel about that. 

5 hours ago, Thelambofdeth said:

 

WHAT??!! You've never saw the Machinist? American Hustle? The Fighter? The Big Short? 3:10 to Yuma? The Prestige or The Dark Knight??? OMG!!!

Also not looking for just coitus. At this part that would be nonsensical and far too large of a step, personally I'm just seeking a connection. Some compatible companionship....something.

 

Nope, haven’t seen any of them. Lol! I know that is a slight on my part but I really find it difficult to watch a movie. Unless I’m by myself or if it’s based on reality it helps. I haven’t seen Monster about Aileen Wuornos either but I will one day. I’ve seen documentaries though. Her story is so brutal. The most heart pounding part about it is when her ex girlfriend Tai (?) wore a wire and got Aileen to admit what she had done. The look on Aileen’s face in court when they played the tape. The ultimate betrayal. I find not the killings but rather the betrayal, the most brutal part. 

I hear you. Sometimes a connection can be found in strange places. I don’t know anybody that uses the word ‘coitis’. Just now my phone kept correcting it to ‘cooties’. Hahahhaha shows you how serious I usually am. Not. I see humor in tragedy. You’re a very serious guy. 

You know.. it’s hard to try to be of any help in your situation even though I try. There’s a fine line between trying to point out areas of improvement and all out lashing somebody with a whip. I hope any advice or thoughts I give, you’ll realize that it is all with good intent. 

You’re a very serious guy. 

The world won’t blow up in mass extinction if you smile once in awhile. 

The bartender story- TOLD YOU. 😉 

I hope you have a good NYE. The best. 

kk 

✌️

[PinkFlamingo]

You girls are enablers... He knows his looks are probably not the thing that repells women. He sees guys that he deems inferior in looks have success with women. He also knows that he lacks confidence and social skills. And yet, the focus is on his looks and what might be the problem with the women since they do not approach him. Where is the solution, where is the action?

Edited December 31, 2019 by PinkFlamingo

[Veronica73]

Cutting your nails would probably help. Long fingernails on a guy is a huge turnoff. Or maybe it’s just me. 

[Thelambofdeth]

On 12/31/2019 at 6:18 AM, K.K. said:

When I read the very first line, I pictured you sort of like that guy in the movie. Standing over me and screaming every word. Sarcastically spitting out each question. My demeanor?!?! Myyyyy dispoSITion?!! My auuuura!!! ? ” 🤬“  

Set the tone for everything that followed. 

Which is insane I know, since you must surely have meant it as nothing more than innocent inquires. Why would you mean it any other way. I read it all over 5 times at least now and I only got that on the first read. Not sure what that means. Maybe that I’m just weird. Yep. 

This thread is FK’ing up my head. ‘Insert lol’s’ here.’ 

Still .. wouldn’t kill ya to use an emoticon errry now and again. 😶

My friend, (I forget what I said his name was and I’m too lazy to scroll back.) I was telling you about earlier in the thread, he thinks they’re unnecessary as well. Wouldn’t use one if his life depended on it. Well he probably would then, he’s not a complete idiot so that was an exaggeration on my part. 

Oh, and I don’t really know anything about auras. I just couldn’t think of a better word that a demon might recognize me with if he felt like he wanted to attach. 

Yeah, that's not how I meant it at all...Just mulling over possibilities. No mean-spirited sarcasm intended.

Yeah, I do a "lol" here and there and a few "haha" just so the tone of my text isn't too stark, but emotes are a bit...much for me.(Which is pretty telling because I don't emote much IRL so there's probably something there lol but I digress.)

I'm by no means and expert on "auras" but I think there's some truth to the concept. Some people just naturally radiate a pleasant one and I....do not.

Quote

Yes, I imagine work and friends is something that works for a lot of people. Only with the work thing, you end up losing your job most of the time. There’s nothing worse than the lovin’ going bad and having to deal with the fallout at the place that you have to spend all day every day. 

Yeah, not one to "dip my pen in company ink" so to speak....But it does seem to work to varying degrees for many people.

Quote

Nah, it makes perfect sense. People have a certain preference, their own opinion of what’s hot. And isn’t that a great thing or millions or billions of people would all be fighting over the same kind of chick/dude.  My brother married a girl that looked like a supermodel. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Tall, soft little southern voice. Your worst conventional nightmare no doubt. They divorced but when it all went down in flames, I’ll never forget him sobbing like a FK’ing baby and giving me advice. He said if I knew what was good for me, I should pick the ugliest ogre that I could find. Or a quadriplegic so they couldn’t run away. He said there’s no happiness in having something if everyone else wanted to take it away. I don’t know how I feel about that. 

The thing is, my skewed taste hasn't even really helped because...well it doesn't diminish competition. Its not like it makes it easier for me in terms of attracting women, despite me setting the bar lower. IDK about the last part because well...IDK. devils advocate, you have a lot of attractive people who don't realize they are, or who are really insecure. Or very meh-looking people with bloated egos.You can't always gauge it accurately. That said that's a reason I don't even look to the very, pretty model types. For the type of women like that that's confidence and aware of her beauty it takes so much to approach and get her attention and be found attractive enough by her,  defeat the numerous competition she harbors, and let alone maintain any sense of relationship. Far too much for someone like me to even consider.

Quote

Nope, haven’t seen any of them. Lol! I know that is a slight on my part but I really find it difficult to watch a movie. Unless I’m by myself or if it’s based on reality it helps. I haven’t seen Monster about Aileen Wuornos either but I will one day. I’ve seen documentaries though. Her story is so brutal. The most heart pounding part about it is when her ex girlfriend Tai (?) wore a wire and got Aileen to admit what she had done. The look on Aileen’s face in court when they played the tape. The ultimate betrayal. I find not the killings but rather the betrayal, the most brutal part. 

I remember seeing most of Monster when I was younger and that was the part that stuck with me. The betrayal. I've see way more disturbing or gory films but the betrayal near the end was pretty resonating. I haven't see the doc, but even in the film that section was what stuck with me the most.

Quote

 

I hear you. Sometimes a connection can be found in strange places. I don’t know anybody that uses the word ‘coitis’. Just now my phone kept correcting it to ‘cooties’. Hahahhaha shows you how serious I usually am. Not. I see humor in tragedy. You’re a very serious guy. 

You know.. it’s hard to try to be of any help in your situation even though I try. There’s a fine line between trying to point out areas of improvement and all out lashing somebody with a whip. I hope any advice or thoughts I give, you’ll realize that it is all with good intent. 

You’re a very serious guy. 

The world won’t blow up in mass extinction if you smile once in awhile. 

The bartender story- TOLD YOU. 😉 

I hope you have a good NYE. The best. 

kk 

✌️

 

Of course. I have taken all of the dialogue and advice as solely benevolent. I especially understand im not the easiest person to converse with or advise.

 

Yes, i'm deathly serious. Almost always. Likely to a fault.

 

My NYE was....fine. I went to a bar with a few friends, but nothing much happened female wise as I didn't approach.(And was berated all night about it by my friends and one of their gfs) There was one woman who bought us drinks and grinded upon and kept touching me, but I subsequently found out she was a...tart(Is that the polite term?) so I brushed it off...

Hopefully yours went better lol.

 

And about the aquarius thing, it's not that i'm unimpressed, I just have very little zodiac knowledge. All i really hear about is how cool scorpios are lol. 

[Thelambofdeth]

On 12/31/2019 at 7:35 AM, PinkFlamingo said:

You girls are enablers... He knows his looks are probably not the thing that repells women. He sees guys that he deems inferior in looks have success with women. He also knows that he lacks confidence and social skills. And yet, the focus is on his looks and what might be the problem with the women since they do not approach him. Where is the solution, where is the action?

First off, I thought this thread was "pointless" and driving you "nuts" or wtf ever?

 

Second, no one is enabling me. I've been called out on my deficiencies  regarding my outlook on women and dating numerous times in this thread.

 

Third, what is you solution? Speed-dating? Yes a way to more readily extinguish whatever remnants of self-esteem I still possess. Speed-dating is ideal or confidence, extroverted, charming people who make good first impressions in short bursts. It's not plausible for someone in my position. Not good around people that I don't already know, who I likely have nothing in common with...

[Thelambofdeth]

On 12/31/2019 at 4:15 PM, Veronica73 said:

Cutting your nails would probably help. Long fingernails on a guy is a huge turnoff. Or maybe it’s just me. 

You're....probably right.  I feel like that's a stance shared by most women. I hardly feel like it's the deciding factor at this point, though. And that I  have much more...pressing matters to even get to the point where my nails are even noticeable...