sothereiwas Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 On 1/22/2020 at 6:31 PM, VioletVelvet said: A 65-year-old's wealth has to sustain him So we're talking a 45 year old woman then? So where would those hypothetical kids come from? For a 20 year age gap where starting a family is a concern we're probably talking a 20-25 year old woman and a 40-45 year old man. Any kids should be out of the house and started (or finished) college by the time he's considering retirement. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, sothereiwas said: Actually my wife's parents blessed our marriage. Probably because you described your wife like this: she managed to have her own house and land before we met, her own life, career, and money, However the OP is describing with what he calls a traditional marriage with rules about modest dress, he sees himself as mentor and teacher, the wife should be at home raising children and/or keeping house. If she wants out of the marriage, she has no career or life experience to fall back on. How many people do you know in this day and age who would give their blessing for their 23yo to marry a 53yo who wants this for her? Would you want this for your daughter? Please, let's stay on topic with what the OP is describing and not segue into describing a relationship where the woman has choice in how to live her life. Edited February 23, 2020 by basil67 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted February 24, 2020 Share Posted February 24, 2020 4 hours ago, basil67 said: describing a relationship where the woman has choice in how to live her life. Let's not pretend we live in a world where a person doesn't have choices. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 24, 2020 Share Posted February 24, 2020 Yes, most women have choices, they want to keep having choices and this is precisely why the OP can't find a partner. We've just come full circle in my argument that few very young women are going to go without an education or learn how to have a job in favour of being kept by an old man. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted February 24, 2020 Share Posted February 24, 2020 1 minute ago, basil67 said: Yes, most women have choices, they want to keep having choices and this is precisely why the OP can't find a partner. Maybe so, although I suspect the actual reason is probably less philosophical and more practical. I'm not comfortable speculating on that, my warning points having finally reached zero again and all. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 24, 2020 Share Posted February 24, 2020 I agree it's about practicality. It's entirely practical for a woman to be able to be like your wife. Knowing how to work, invest, find her way in life and exercise her own decisions as an equal with you. Anything less treads in areas which can leave a woman vulnerable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author awalns Posted March 24, 2020 Author Share Posted March 24, 2020 What I love is neither remodeling, nor weather, not even the corona virus itself has been able to keep us apart! No interference, nothing! Got to be lovin' it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author awalns Posted May 28, 2020 Author Share Posted May 28, 2020 On 3/24/2020 at 2:08 PM, awalns said: What I love is neither remodeling, nor weather, not even the corona virus itself has been able to keep us apart! No interference, nothing! Got to be lovin' it! I have also been in contact with a young lady from another land who is 22. We have had some awesome discussions but am not sure where it's going right now. But this is the kind of thing I am looking for. So what if I am 52 and she is 22. We get along great. We are honest, fun, and engaging! Link to post Share on other sites
Author awalns Posted May 28, 2020 Author Share Posted May 28, 2020 On 3/24/2020 at 2:08 PM, awalns said: What I love is neither remodeling, nor weather, not even the corona virus itself has been able to keep us apart! No interference, nothing! Got to be lovin' it! And still at it. Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 52 minutes ago, awalns said: I have also been in contact with a young lady from another land who is 22. If you've never been with her, and never been to that faraway land for more than a few weeks, all I can say is that I've watched this play out (as an ex-pat, in the faraway land) plenty of times. Typically they have a name for the American "BF" and it's not flattering. But good luck. Maybe you'll be the one who makes it work! Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 1 hour ago, awalns said: I have also been in contact with a young lady from another land who is 22. We have had some awesome discussions but am not sure where it's going right now. But this is the kind of thing I am looking for. So, now you're cheating on the first one, or is that relationship finished? (Just looking for clarification here...) Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 Just now, mark clemson said: So, now you're cheating on the first one, or is that relationship finished? (Just looking for clarification here...) Probably OK if he's chatting up a few, because until one meets up in person these ladies don't tend to think of the online relationship as remotely real. They are quite used to eager online foreigners never quite ponying up for the airfare. Best to have a half dozen or 10 in queue. Typically. Every unique snowflake is different of course, completely. /sarc Link to post Share on other sites
Author awalns Posted August 12, 2020 Author Share Posted August 12, 2020 On 1/22/2020 at 2:42 PM, basil67 said: That's interesting....you give your son advice on avoiding career women. But people shouldn't give advice to young women about avoiding old men where there's a mismatch of life experience. Why can you give advice but others shouldn't? Apparently you also don't value educating women. And you wonder why others would advise their daughters against such a match. That "mismatch" as you call it is one of the BEST reasons to consider an intergenerational courtship. I insist that women be educated but if they decide to marry put family FIRST, not career first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author awalns Posted August 12, 2020 Author Share Posted August 12, 2020 On 5/28/2020 at 4:26 PM, mark clemson said: So, now you're cheating on the first one, or is that relationship finished? (Just looking for clarification here...) No, like any guy seeking his true soulmate I can defer to the "wandering eye" as a way to pass the time until I see her again. I know not a good idea, right, but I am only human. That is why spending so much time together is CRUCIAL: it keeps the "eye" where its supposed to be, on her and only on her. But I am now investing much more into this. I have done away with any prospects that are superficial and am not "looking" around like I used to. I know I need to keep my eyes on the prize, so to speak because this is what I invested so much into, not just these 8 years but since I first began looking back in 1981. I have sacrificed so much and put so much effort into us and now is the time to let her know how I feel. So I hope very soon I can finally make that happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author awalns Posted August 12, 2020 Author Share Posted August 12, 2020 On 2/23/2020 at 2:18 PM, basil67 said: Probably because you described your wife like this: she managed to have her own house and land before we met, her own life, career, and money, However the OP is describing with what he calls a traditional marriage with rules about modest dress, he sees himself as mentor and teacher, the wife should be at home raising children and/or keeping house. If she wants out of the marriage, she has no career or life experience to fall back on. How many people do you know in this day and age who would give their blessing for their 23yo to marry a 53yo who wants this for her? Would you want this for your daughter? Please, let's stay on topic with what the OP is describing and not segue into describing a relationship where the woman has choice in how to live her life. Considering the alternatives, many folks might just consider giving their blessings to such an arrangement. Link to post Share on other sites
Author awalns Posted August 12, 2020 Author Share Posted August 12, 2020 On 2/23/2020 at 11:10 AM, sothereiwas said: So we're talking a 45 year old woman then? So where would those hypothetical kids come from? For a 20 year age gap where starting a family is a concern we're probably talking a 20-25 year old woman and a 40-45 year old man. Any kids should be out of the house and started (or finished) college by the time he's considering retirement. And who has made this general, one-size-fits-all recommendation?? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 On 5/28/2020 at 4:26 PM, awalns said: I have also been in contact with a young lady from another land who is 22. We have had some awesome discussions but am not sure where it's going right now. But this is the kind of thing I am looking for. So what if I am 52 and she is 22. We get along great. We are honest, fun, and engaging! Have you met in person? Do you speak the same language? Is this a foreign bride site? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author awalns Posted August 12, 2020 Author Share Posted August 12, 2020 40 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Have you met in person? Do you speak the same language? Is this a foreign bride site? She is just a friend I speak to on whats app. I don't think we would be right for each other but we still have some very unique discussions. I have told her a lot about the love of my life here in the Midwest, so she knows about her and how much I have invested in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author awalns Posted August 12, 2020 Author Share Posted August 12, 2020 Just now, awalns said: She is just a friend I speak to on whats app. I don't think we would be right for each other but we still have some very unique discussions. I have told her a lot about the love of my life here in the Midwest, so she knows about her and how much I have invested in it. She lives in Turkey Link to post Share on other sites
Author awalns Posted August 20, 2020 Author Share Posted August 20, 2020 But my special girl's name is Lindsey. She lives in the same town I do Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 20, 2020 Share Posted August 20, 2020 1 hour ago, awalns said: But my special girl's name is Lindsey. She lives in the same town I do Is this the girl you bought a book for? Link to post Share on other sites
Author awalns Posted September 1, 2020 Author Share Posted September 1, 2020 On 8/20/2020 at 10:02 AM, elaine567 said: Is this the girl you bought a book for? Several books actually. One of them being "The Picture of Dorean Gray". I also told her I have something for her keychain, which she responded by clapping in a happy manner. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 On 8/12/2020 at 8:56 AM, awalns said: That "mismatch" as you call it is one of the BEST reasons to consider an intergenerational courtship. I insist that women be educated but if they decide to marry put family FIRST, not career first. So you insist on that. So have you had any actually go through with it? Married you or are living with you? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 On 9/1/2020 at 7:18 AM, awalns said: Several books actually. One of them being "The Picture of Dorean Gray". I also told her I have something for her keychain, which she responded by clapping in a happy manner. Just...oh my God. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 2, 2020 Share Posted September 2, 2020 On 5/28/2020 at 3:26 PM, awalns said: So what if I am 52 and she is 22. I'm guessing you don't have any daughters, because if you did I imagine that this sort of thing would strike you as more ick-inspiring than charming. But hey, you do you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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